Lindsay Lohan’s Balance Issues

Lindsay Lohan can’t stop tripping this week. Maybe her equilibrium is off? Last Friday, she fell face first onto an agave plant while making her way into a friend’s party in Los Angeles (pictured, bottom). She looked sort of like she was auditioning for a role in “Spiderman: Turn Off The Dark” as she tried to get up. Then on Wednesday night, outside a bar in New York’s Lower East Side, she fell again (pictured, top). Impressive that she didn’t drop her ciggy or her cell phone! This time, Lindsay was laughing as she tried to stand back up on her mega-platforms. Friends say she’s sober, so might we suggest some slightly more walkable shoes? Although I guess if she’s not behind bars, Lindsay is doing pretty well. [NY Post, TMZ] Keep reading »

Ladies, Do You Have A “Buff Bay”?

Because I am committed to bringing you the most current and up-to-date genital slang, I feel obligated to share. My friend (who shall remain nameless) was at work yesterday when a female co-worker was checking out her camel toe. Weird … yes. After staring at her crotch for a full minute, the co-worker said to her, “Damn, girl! You have a buff bay!” Naturally, my friend had no idea what this meant. Have you heard it before? I certainly have not. Apparently a “buff bay” is a slang term for a fat, juicy vagina. I have confirmed this information on Urban Dictionary, the premiere source for all genital slang. According to Urban Dictionary, the term originated in Hackney, London amongst a group of lads who hung out in The Pembury Estate between the years of 1989 to 2000. OK! And I was still grappling with the term “fat monkey.” So there it is. Buff bay. You’re welcome. Keep reading »

For Guys: How To Not Buy Terrible Jewelry For Your Wife Or Girlfriend

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I was hanging out with some friends the other day when the topic of bad jewelry came up. My friend Brigitte immediately sprang up from the couch and ran to her room, claiming that her boyfriend had recently bought her The Worst Necklace In The World. At first we were skeptical, but when she returned clutching a red plastic box, and then revealed the gold-plated, heart-shaped atrocity sitting inside, we all gasped in horrified agreement. “It looks like something from the Claire’s clearance bin,” I said, examining the cloudy purple stone glued to the rim, “except not as good.”

As we continued our discussion, I caught a glimpse of our friend Andrew, who was sitting in the corner and had suddenly turned ghostly white. “I am never buying jewelry for a woman again,” he whispered. We all rushed to console him, telling him that it’s actually not that hard, and if in doubt he should just consult with us. So this post is for all the Andrews of the world — the well-meaning husbands and boyfriends who want to buy something nice for their ladies but aren’t sure where to start. Feel free to leave your own suggestions in the comments, and forward this on to the men who need it most!

Brad Goreski Gets His Own Bravo TV Show

Has there been a serious lack of bow ties in your life lately? Missing witty, fashion-forward banter? Then you’ll want to wath Brad Goreski’s new show. Brad, if you’ll remember, was the well-coiffed male assistant to Ms. Rachel Zoe, but now he’s striking out on his own with “It’s a Brad World.” “World” will follow Goreski as he attends fashion shows, styles celebs and shops for bigger and better neckwear, we presume. We’re hoping Zoe’s other ex-assistant Taylor makes an appearance so she and Brad can give us the inside word on what it’s really like to work with Zoe. [NY Mag] Keep reading »

Women In A Gumball Machine: Is This The Most Sexist Ad For Online Dating Ever?

We know it’s, like, a law that beer and fast food commercials use offensive, usually sexist, stereotypes about chicks and dudes … but online dating sites? This “Femme-o-matic” commercial for Belgian dating site Vind een Lief is confusing, but the basic premise seems to be that online dating is just like ordering up a hot blonde from a gumball machine. Because us ladies all so interchangeable, you know, and men don’t care about anything more than our looks! With all the blonde women lying around in kiddie pools and washing cars in short shorts, you’d think Vind een Lief would want people to believe it’s an escort service. But hey, maybe something got lost in translation. (Imagery NSFW, although naughty language is subtitled.) [Copyranter] Keep reading »

14 Seriously Uncomfortable Undergarments

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What the hell is going on with this woman’s ladyparts, you may ask? She is wearing a C-String, and no, we don’t know why she’s wearing what looks like an upside-down headband between her legs. Ahh, it seems the C-String is actually a “string-less thong” which promises to rid your life of pesky panty-lines and “uncomfortable straps” — because surely having a curved, fabric-covered metal rod wedged between your ass cheeks is the way to “say hello to a sexy new freedom.” [C-String]

Oh, the things we do to be sexy. Here are 13 other absolutely ridiculous and painful-looking undergarments we’ll never chuck our granny-panties for.

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