Are You Smart Enough To Tutor Gwyneth Paltrow And Chris Martin’s Kids?

I’d like to think I’m an intelligent person. Intellectual, even. But it turns out I am drastically under-qualified to tutor Apple and Moses Martin, the seven- and five-year-old children of Coldplay’s Chris Martin and his wife Gwyneth Paltrow. The couple is currently interviewing candidates from Tutors-International.com to be based at their main residence in London and travel around the world with their family. The tutor must be fluent in ancient Greek, Latin, French and Spanish, able to play two instruments and athletic. (If you’re wondering about the ancient Greek and Latin, it turns out that was Chris Martin’s specialties in college.) Ideally, they should hold a degree from Oxbridge, too. Keep reading »

The 7 Basic Female Responses

What is your female response? According to this film, there are seven basic ways that women respond. To what? I don’t know. To their femaleness, I suppose? I’m glad my way of coping was to become “the free thinker” and not “the secretary.” [Girls of the World] Keep reading »

Mind Of Man: Does Every Man Want To Have A Threesome? (Answer: Yes! Also: No!)

Here’s a 110 percent true fact: the guy you’re dating has definitely imagined having a threesome with you and the waitress from last night, his hot co-worker, or your best friend. Yuck, amiriiiiight?

While you’re squirming over how grossoholic men are, telling yourself “My boyfriend would NEVER want to have a threesome between me and my best friend Megs,” allow me to inform you that women are far kinkier, nastier, and sexually adventuresome than the testicle enabled. More on THAT, later. Keep reading »

Porn Companies Fight Over Jennifer Lopez’s Honeymoon Sex Tape

Porn companies are scrambling to get their hands on Jennifer Lopez‘s honeymoon sex tape, which those-in-the-know claim shows that famous booty gettin’ spanked. Oh, and possibly J. Lo flashing her vajayjay on a street in Cuba? (But not, you know, actual sex.) Her sleazy ex-husband, Ojani Noa, to whom she was only married for 11 months back in 1997, has been threatening to sell the footage for months now. Keep reading »

Ask The Man Panel: Fishy Fashion

Betsey Johnson is known for her crazy prints, and this “fish jacquard tunic dress” is certainly no exception. My first thought? Betsey might want to consult this flowchart to better understand the definition of a “dress.” Second thought? I’d love to know what the Man Panel thinks about this thing… Keep reading »

Girl Talk: How Commuting Killed My Relationship

“The commute is killing me,” I said, tears streaming down my face.

My live-in boyfriend Jeff looked at me, puzzled. I couldn’t blame him. The way I behaved when I got home from work every day was, well, puzzling. After a 12-hour work day as a high school teacher and a two-hour commute home through bumper-to-bumper Los Angeles traffic, I arrived home every night in a rage. On the worst days, I would push through the door of our apartment like a tornado, slam it shut, scream at Jeff, run into the bedroom and cry like a five-year-old. This is embarrassing for me to admit, but it’s true. I should probably also mention that I am usually a fairly calm, only occasionally histrionic person. I was not behaving like myself. Keep reading »

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