Duke Nukem Game Lets Gamers Slap Women Silly

Rape On "True Blood"
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Real men may have been pussified by man-hating, hairy-legged feminazis, so it’s a good thing they have XBox 360 games as an outlet for lady-slapping, alien-killing machismo. The much-anticipated Duke Nukem Forever game from Gearbox Software is where enlightened gender relations go to die. The “Be The One Man Army Who Always Gets The Babes” theme encourages dudes to save us poor, helpless females from getting impregnated (i.e. raped) by alien invaders. While saving the little woman from the bad guy is a well-trod theme of video games (and “dick flicks”), Duke Nukem Forever‘s got a lovely domestic violence-y element. According to The Official Xbox Magazine, if the lady “freaks out” while she’s being saved from impending alien rape, Duke can smack her across the face until she “calms down.” You know, slap some sense into the silly bitch! Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “Our Friend Is Engaged To A Psycho!”

Selling Engagement Ring?
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Should Amelia sell her engagement ring? Read More »

My husband’s best friend “Bill” is engaged to marry his fiancee “Erin” this June. Last night, he told me about a fight Bill and Erin recently had that really concerns me. Erin feels very threatened by pornography and forbids Bill from looking at it because she considers it cheating. When she moved in, she destroyed his porn collection. A couple of weeks ago, Erin found a porn site in the web history on their shared computer and proceeded to compile evidence of Bill visiting porn sites. The same week, Erin found a cabinet with a locked door while Bill was at work; she pried it open to discover a set of porn DVDs. She called Bill and calmly stated that they “needed to talk.” When Bill got home that night, Erin immediately brought out the DVDs, began screaming and snapped the DVDs in his face. She then threatened to seriously damage his vehicle, began throwing things and ultimately punched him in the face. Erin truly expects Bill to never be sexually excited by the image of another woman and feels that he needs counseling for his “porn addiction.” The violence is obviously upsetting, and their inability to have an open dialogue sets the stage for future conflicts. My husband is generally the type to mind his own business, but I feel that he needs to urge Bill to seek counseling with Erin and seriously rethink the wedding if she refuses to go. What would you do if you were a friend of theirs? — Smells Trouble

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Crush Of The Day: Lady Gaga’s Tattooed Friend, Rick Genest

See that guy pictured with Lady Gaga in a still from her “Born This Way” video? That’s Rick Genest. And unlike Miss Gaga, whose face required two hours of make up to achieve the skeletal look, Mr. Genest’s face really looks like that. Because his face is tattooed that way. As in, permanently. That’s right, Mr. Skeletor over there has a perma-Halloween costume on, and he’s spent three years and $7,000 to make it happen. And I’m apparently not the only one who thinks he’s mega-hot. The Canadian model has been tapped by Thierry Mugler designer — and frequent Gaga collaborator — Nicola Formichetti, as his muse. Formichetti found Genest living on the streets in Montreal, where he was doing odd jobs to pay for his next tattoo, and now he’s walking in Mugler’s menswear shows. And for the record, just because he looks scary, doesn’t mean he isn’t a sweetheart. His mom says, “Within the family he is a very loving boy, he’s very respectful to us.” [Daily Mail] Keep reading »

The Best Starbucks Run Ever


Last week, a man ran into a Starbucks in Boston and screamed, “I’m rich, I’m rich, I’m rich!” This is not the beginning of a joke, by the way, so read on. The mystery man tossed out fistfuls of dollar bills (also known as “making it rain”) and ran away. That’s it. He didn’t even take credit for his altruistic rain storm. He didn’t even get a damn coffee. This NEVER happened to me when I used to get my lattes at Starbucks! Maybe I should start frequenting again. [Best Week Ever] Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I Had An Emotional Affair

Last summer, I fell in love with my boxing teacher. I never kissed him. I never spent time alone with him. Though I did have mental sex with him at least a thousand times, and was only left with goose bumps and a weakened mind.

The first time I went to class, Mike wrapped my hands and told me he’d seen me around. He smiled his glowing smile and I thought he looked nice. I couldn’t put my gloves on, but he was more than happy to help. Keep reading »

50 Cent Wouldn’t Jump Over A Table To Bone Chelsea Handler

“Chelsea is confident. I think confidence is the sexiest thing about a person. She’s the kind of person that if you’re blessed with the opportunity to hang out with her, you’ll enjoy it. I’m not sure you’ll look at her and actually want to jump over the table and f**k her, but you might. You would leave after talking with her feeling that she is a cool person.”

50 Cent explains to Vibe magazine what he sees in Chelsea Handler, who he was rumored to be dating back in October. Wait, Fiddy, are you trying to say that you—gasp!—like her personality? If 50 and Chelsea were ever a real couple, it looks like they have both moved on—Chelsea with hotelier Andre Balazs, to be specific. Wonder how he’d feel about jumping over a table for her? [Huffington Post] Keep reading »

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