Oh Gwyneth Paltrow, you silly fishmongering crack-smoking goop. You so crazy! In case you haven’t heard Gwynnie’s latest advice on how to live a fabulous, toxin-free existence, Her Paltrowness recently announced that she’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a can. Well, duh. Who wouldn’t?
Personally, I love that Gwyneth said she prefers crack to Cheez Whiz. Everybody’s pointing to this latest comment as further proof of Paltrow’s warped sense of reality, one where even mere commoners such as ourselves have access to kiddie couturiers and private macrobiotic chefs, but I disagree! Read more… Keep reading »
“People say Draco is sexier than Harry. Harry is just a nice guy, surrounded by so many strong characters, whereas Draco stands out on his own. And there’s something about the way the Malfoys look. I wouldn’t be worried about playing a bad guy for the rest of my life … Let’s be honest. We weren’t picked for ‘Harry Potter’ for our acting ability — it was because we looked like the characters as they’d been written. We started out as rank amateurs, and we’ll be lucky if we’ve learned something over the past 10 years.”
—Tom Felton, aka Draco Malfoy of “Harry Potter,” talks to the Daily Mail about the character that made him famous and his hopes now that the mega-popular series is coming to an end. Last week, Emma Watson revealed that Tom was her first crush and now I’m kind of getting why. I like that he tells it like it is. Plus, when the newspaper asked about his final showdown with Daniel Radcliffe in “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2,” he said, ‘‘I wanted them to run together in slow motion and hug.” Hilarious. [Daily Mail] Keep reading »
This a-hole took screwing around at work to a whole new level: Stephen Pottinger, an employee of the Houston Independent School District, is in trubs for signing up his co-worker for a mail order bride website. During company hours. “He had mentioned that he wanted to get back into dating,” Pottinger said. “We have a long-standing joke that when [the co-worker] starts talking, a lot of people start falling asleep. So I said, ‘Maybe you should start dating someone who doesn’t speak any English. They can just nod and smile.’” So the Michael Scott of Texas signed his colleague up on a website that matches Russian women with American men and forwarded responses to the guy during work hours.
Well, that is quite the prank. Keep reading »
I am sorry to break it to you, kiddo. When the dog poop disappeared from the backyard? That was your mom. And when the doo doo vanished from the sidewalk? That was your dad. They only told you the Poop Fairy existed to see the glimmer of joy in a young one’s eye, to expand childhood ever-so-slightly further. Really, the Poop Fairy was just a ruse just like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.
All this is to say, please clean up after your dog. [Jefferson County Sheriff’s Office] Keep reading »