Quotable: Tracy Morgan Has Ideas For Your Placenta

“The first day I met [Tracy Morgan], I had a small Afro, and he was like, ‘You know, if you want to get dreads, you should get your girl pregnant and put the placenta in your hair.’ And I was like, ‘What the f**k are you talking about?’ But from that point on, I thought, ‘Any brain that can make that up needs to be studied.’”

—Donald Glover, “Community” star and ex-writer for “30 Rock.” Did we mention he’s only 26? Wonder if he’s single … [NYMag.com] Keep reading »

Star Couplings: Was Alexa Ray Joel Devastated Over Ex-Boyfriend?

  • Alexa Ray Joel’s hospitalization might have been brought on by an argument with an ex-boyfriend. [People]
  • This weekend, Justin Long left the premiere for his movie “Serious Moonlight” after walking the red carpet so he could be by Drew Barrymore‘s side at the premiere for her movie “Everybody’s Fine.” [Entertainment Daily]
  • Kevin Jonas can’t wait to walk down the aisle so his fiance can continue cooking for him. [NY Daily News]

Keep reading »

This Union Isn’t Official ‘Til I Update My Facebook Status To Married

Wait just a second, Pastor. This marriage isn’t official because you, a diamond ring, and the State say so. It’s not a done deal until we hit pause on the ceremony, take out our Blackberrys, and change our respective Facebook statuses to say “married.” Oh yeah, and while we’ve got our phones out, we’re gonna tweet that update too! Sounds crazy? Well, it happened! Did this happy couple take their social media habit too far? Do you think this techno-savvy ceremony is cute? Maybe we should just be glad they didn’t tweet their wedding night blow-by-blow. [WoW Report] Keep reading »

New Pap Smear Recommendations Could Increase STDs Among Black Teens

Going to the gynecologist is never a pleasant experience, but most responsible women suck it up at least once a year to have an annual pap smear. The new pap smear recommendations say women should delay getting their first test until they’re 21, regardless of whether they’re sexually active. But for some women, the pap and fear of developing cervical cancer were the only reasons they went to the doctor in the first place, and once they were in the stirrups, their doctor could examine them for signs of STDs. The new pap guidelines mean a whole generation, mainly teens, will be unlikely to get tested for STDs and STIs as they begin having sex. Black teens are especially at risk; find out why after the jump. Keep reading »

For The Week Of December 7-13, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Spill your guts on every single feeling you have about that someone, because, believe it or not, he needs the reassurance more than you. Who could have ever thought there would be someone more analytical than you, but you seem to have connected. Now is time to enjoy having the ball in your court fully and freely.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

One way you know the holiday season is in full swing is when your aggravation levels turn red when dealing with your opinionated family. However, this year, as they pull their same ridiculous stunts, you’ll be able to counteract them with your new and realized self that cares a lot less. Finally, something fun to open up during the holidays — your latest can of worms.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Sit back and let the magic unfold. Comfort is the key to knowing if you’re in the right place, as things will flow forward naturally if meant to be. Otherwise, if you break out your control freak now, it’ll only mess up the vibe and blur you from truly gauging the equality factor of your latest tryst. Yes, to win this round, you’re just going to have to let it ride.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

With your brain going at a turtle’s pace and your heart racing at the speed of lightening, you are going to have to pick a side and stick with it. Nothing about this week is going to be too sweet, as there will be way too many confusing options to choose from. Think of it like being a kid in a candy shop, but with a few sour balls in the mix.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

To exert your power you are going to have to throw some cash at the problem. This can be any way you see fit. If this latest funk requires a splurge for a cure, then go for it. If it means hiring a hit man, then go for that too. Whatever the case, you are the boss and you have the power: enforce it. It’s the only way to get to the other side.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Exorcizing your brain of the past will be your number-one priority, as you’ll reach a dead end and accept there are no more ways to reconcile what has happened. Luckily, once you are decisive about it all, a total 180 will happen, finally making your future wide open with possibilities. So, prepare to do some daydreaming, as setting new aims turns into your new obsession.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Being diplomatic doesn’t mean doing whatever you’re told. Bullying tactics aren’t kind and if you want to end this mess, it’ll mean time to take a stance and mean it. No more being indecisive, thinking fate will unravel its bigger plan on you, as others call your shots. No, this time around, it’s all you and what you say will be the new law.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

There is a reason you were born first in the zodiac, and it’s because you seem to be able to get a clue a lot faster than most and can point to the plan of action with military precision at any moment’s notice. When others don’t get this power of yours, they only screw over themselves. So, do take control, but don’t let those who jump ship bother you. You’ll get the last laugh soon enough.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Set plans in motion with your baby and get on the same idealistic page. No more sitting around, making excuses, putting everyone else ahead of you and just being flat-out bored. This is time to start switching gears in your mind and turning hopes into more than just ideas. Take a spontaneous leap of faith now; it’ll be the best present you’ll get EVER!

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Pay attention to the subtle word choices people use with you this week, because not all is sunshine and roses. Go ahead and dig for more answers, because what you find out will only be to your benefit. Not to say another is trying to screw with your mind, but he just can’t seem to bolster the esteem to say what he’s really thinking.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Let logic rule. Things that should be in your life will be blaringly obvious. Otherwise, know that if you’re spending too much time rationalizing situations that don’t add up, you’re seriously barking up the wrong tree and deepening the agony you’ll inevitably face. Besides, the other incentive to a clean break now is that by month’s end a new cycle of possibilities will begin.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

While the beginning of the week will start with you feeling as if you’re floating on air, by the end you’ll have another attitude. Yes, you can chalk this up to moodiness, but whatever the case there will be a major turnaround in your emotions and some drama to endure. However, this is all a day in your life and nothing will be altogether too shocking — at least for you.

CBS Wants You To Get A Pap Smear For Christmas

CBS is running a short PSA this holiday season urging people to give the gift of … pap smears. I understand the sentiment behind the message, but a pap smear for the holidays? Whatever happened to a nice pair of earrings? Keep reading »

Quick Pic: Keep It In Your Socks

A sign at the University of Michigan reminds students that “semen related costs” run into the thousands every year (and that’s not even counting all those semen-related babies born every year). “Please masturbate in your own room” the sign reads (preferably into your own sock and not your roommate’s). [via BuzzFeed] Keep reading »

Work That Pole, Dude

And you thought all strippers were women. Think again! The dudes are no shrinking violets when it comes to climbing up ye olde stripper pole. At the World Pole Dancing Competition in Tokyo, men and women mounted the brass rail to show off their best barely clad aerial acrobatics. This was the first year that men had their own division at the competition, and women came from around the world to compete in their division. While exotic dancing in gentlemen’s clubs involves nudity and sometimes raunch, “The only ‘x’ in the sport is exercise,” asserts the narrator in this video of contenders. So, what’s the difference between male pole dancers and female dancers? No stripper shoes. Keep reading »

Quotable: Hugh Hefner Thinks Tiger’s Cheating Is No Biggie

“I think the only surprise in it, quite frankly, is that anybody would be surprised. If you’re a good-looking guy and young and healthy, the notion that there would be something else going on, well, marriage is just a convenience. It’s very nice for raising kids, but the notion that monogamy lasts forever is a wish!”

Playboy founder Hugh Hefner on Tiger Woods’ “transgressions” [Extra TV] Keep reading »

Quick Pic: Taylor Swift Is Kinderwhore Chic

Well, look who was on the cover of “T,” The New York Times Style Magazine this weekend! It’s our favorite songstress, Taylor Swift, all dressed up in couture kinderwhore. Sniff! Courtney Love would be so proud. [T] Keep reading »

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