Indonesian State Will Force Late-Night Daters To Marry

Rebecca Vipond Brink / September 3, 2015

What if you had to marry the first person you were out past 9 p.m. with? More »


PornHub Is Offering A $25K College Scholarship

Rebecca Vipond Brink / September 3, 2015

Aww, PornHub really does care! The gigantic pornography web site is offering a $25,000 college scholarship for applicants who are over 18, have at least a 3.2 GPA, are currently enrolled in an undergraduate or graduate college with any major, and don’t have personal qualms about accepting money from a pornography web site.
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Taylor Swift’s (Racist) Video For “Wildest Dreams” Isn’t Racist Because The Producer Is “Super Hot” And “Black,” Says Director

Megan Reynolds / September 2, 2015

“Super hot black producer” is the new “black friend.”… More »


President Mike Huckabee Will Outlaw All The Abortions, Protect Bigots

Robyn Pennacchia / September 2, 2015

Mike Huckabee is currently running for President of The Republic of Gilead. More »


Guys, Relax, Denise The Pig Is Not A Homewrecker, She’s A Puppet And Not Everything Is A Feminist Issue

Megan Reynolds / September 2, 2015

Yesterday, People released an exclusive about Kermit the Frog’s new girlfriend. Kermit the Frog is a puppet, a Muppet to be more specific. His new girlfriend is also a puppet. Her name is Denise. She is a stuffed pig wearing a shiny auburn wig and a frozen come-hither expression. That is her only look, because she… More »


Brave Woman Pens Inspiring Essay About Finding A Ball Of CAT HAIR In Her Vagina

Amelia McDonell-Parry / September 2, 2015

We have a little game we like to play in our group chat room called “Real Or Fake xoJane Headline.” The goal, as you might expect, is to correctly guess whether the absurd and often extremely long headline is made up or actually exists on xoJane. Spoiler alert: No matter how goddamn fucking ridiculous, they… More »


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