PornHub Buys Jumpy Masturbator New Laptop After Mom Walks In On Him Wacking Off

By: Rebecca Vipond Brink / April 17, 2015
So apparently, some poor dude was watching PornHub, and the site decided to freeze right when his mom was coming up the stairs. Logically, he did this: Mum was walking up the stairs and Pornhub decided to freeze, I had no other choice. — Denzel (@DenzelMichaelUk) April 12, 2015 >.< YOU COULD’VE CLOSED IT,… More »

Absolute Beginners: Know When To Stop

By: Rebecca Vipond Brink / April 17, 2015
Right now, I have tendonitis in my left ankle, tenosynovitis in both of my feet (it’s an inflammation of the sheaths that protect tendons), hammer toes, and my marathon-induced avascular necrosis still hasn’t quite healed. I have a vertebra that’s still healing from being cracked when I fell backward down a flight of stairs last… More »

School Official Says Latino Kids Don’t Need Air Conditioning, Are Used To The Heat

By: Robyn Pennacchia / April 17, 2015
Meet Denise Elsken! She's a member of the Martinez Unified School District, which on March 30th voted to install air conditioning at the predominantly white John Swett Elementary over the predominantly latino Las Juntas Elementary.They only had enough money to install air conditioning at one school, and Elsken had a less than charming explanation for… More »

Local Travel: 18 Places To Visit In The Pacific Northwest This Spring

By: Claire Hannum / April 17, 2015
Warm weather means long sunny weekends and the sudden itch to explore someplace new, so why not start with your own backyard? If you need a break from the big cities and major sights, hop in the car and take a day trip closeMore »

TGIF! Here’s Hoping You Don’t Get Stuck In Your Seatbelt This Weekend

By: Amelia McDonell-Parry / April 17, 2015
I don't know what Clint, the gentleman above, did to get himself stuck in his seatbelt -- did it lock up or is he wearing it incorrectly? hard to say -- but I could watch him struggle and complain about the situation for hours. And what the hell does "hydrophobic" mean? More »

#Problematic: Patton Oswalt Is A Jerk, Madonna Swallows Drake & Gwyneth Paltrow Goes Hungry

By: Chloe Stillwell / April 17, 2015
How’s it hanging, guys? “Game of Thrones,” a show that I have never seen past the opening credits of episode one, is back. I am told this has made everyone really fucking happy. I am told it’s got some badass female characters. I’m told that there is more than one dragon. I am told that… More »

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