Unfortunately, I’m becoming a professional at going on great dates that have awful endings. There was my first date with Scar Twin, which went off without a hitch until I fell down a flight of stairs; my first (and last) date with Jack, who wrapped up our evening by insinuating that I’m a slut; and most recently, my great — and also tragic — date with my old college friend Baby Face. Confirmed: Tears do not taste good in dirty martinis. Keep reading »
I know what you’re thinking: T-shirts with slogans or random phrases on them are juvenile, relics of your early college years that are best left in the past along with all those unframed posters and your dirty plastic bong. And you’re right! Mostly — there are exceptions. On days where I just don’t feel like talking, I would let these 13 tees speak for me.
Facebook is overrun with pictures of baby bumps or “side belly cleavage,” as I like to call it, originating with women announcing their journey from TTC (trying to conceive) to TWW (two-week window after ovulation) to Chosen Ones With Tiny John McCains in Their Bellies. As friends, we’re overjoyed when we see these in our feed, obviously, because we’re all going to get free baby lessons once our friends duplicate (this is the correct terminology, right?).
There is a contingent of people who find the public baby bump pics, ultrasound avatars, or photographs of loaf of bread in the oven a little smug. But my key objection is the sheer lack of originality. Your ovaries spit out an egg that caught the flying shuttlecock of your mate mid-Fallopian tube — that is some world-class tennis you’re playing, lady! Your prowess in implanting a fertilized embryo deserves something a little more personalized.
If you’ve received the lucky news that you’re adding an initial to your Pottery Barn towels, tell your friends and family one of these fun ways: Keep reading »
There’s a strange, magical little corner of Twitter and the rest of the Internet you may not have heard of unless you’re an author or an enthusiastic reader: the world of book bloggers. It’s where people get together for Twitter parties, hold cover reveals on their favorite blogs, and connect with readers on Tumblr. It’s also where some of most vicious, bizarre, and chilling wars of the Internet take place, all beneath a facade of politeness because everyone is too terrified to say anything for fear of jeopardizing their position in the publishing industry or their role in the book blogger hierarchy. Keep reading »
Guys, what is with all of the food trends being either zero-calorie, nutrient-dense greens or froofy, sugary, carby grain-based things? I mean — cupcakes, donuts, cronuts, toast? Kale, collards, chard? We’re in denial, here. It’s like if we eat enough kale we might be able to “get away with” (eye roll) eating fried dough.
There’s no love for protein, man. I mean, yeah, bacon, but we’ve baconed so much that we’re about to have a bacon shortage. We need to replace the obsession. Here are my ideas: Keep reading »