Beauty IRL: Nail Polish, Explained

Beauty IRL: Nail Polish, Explained

Because I am indecisive, or because I have weird issues regarding permanence and commitment, selecting a color at the nail salon takes me longer than the average bear. I usually go in with a very specific idea of what I’m going to try to convey with my hands for the next week. “Perhaps I’ll buck convention and get this bright neon, even though it’s the dead of winter!” I tell myself. “Is this sheer nude too ‘I’m-getting-married-next-week’ and not enough ‘off-duty Rihanna’?” I’ll ask. I am overwhelmed by finishes. I spend minutes holding bottles of polish up to the weird light, turning them to see how they do or don’t sparkle, trying to envision how I’ll integrate them into my wardrobe that is full of mostly black with some stripes. “This is so important! I can’t make a wrong choice!” Well. Nail polish comes off in the blink of an eye so you can change every single day if you want. But, if you’re like me, and are stymied by the various shades and kinds of nail polish, this primer is for you. Keep reading »

North West Has A New BFF

North and Future

Nineteen-month-old North West is best pals with Ciara and Future’s eight-month-old son, Future Jr., and it’s precious. Ciara told E! News that the two babies have had lots of play dates: “They have had fun times together. I just want to make sure he’s a gentleman and good to the ladies…We have the cutest pictures of them together.” Does this mean that Kim and Ciara are actually the true BFFs here and schedule these play dates so the two of them can hang out? Are North and Future going to feel ultra pressure to get married someday from like, the entire viewership of “Keeping Up With The Kardashians”? I’m just glad North gets to hang out with other babies, because I sometimes get the impression she spends her days sequestered on the top floor of a Kardashian castle, surrounded by Kim’s pristine neutral-colored decor, toddling around on a fluffy white rug and playing only with Mason and Penelope Disick. Even children whose parents deem them royalty need friends! Clearly Kimye intends for North to someday take over the world, and like any leader, she will need a small army of infant BFFs (or in this case, potential future hubbies) to do so! By the time these kids are ten, they’ll be more powerful than all of us grown-up plebs combined. [Cosmopolitan; E!] [Images via Instagram]

Mommie Dearest: Similac Takes On The Mommy Wars

"Oh, look. The breast police have arrived."

Have you seen the new Similac Formula ad? You must have, it’s everywhere. All up in my Facebook and Twitter feeds, with everyone posting it along with a “Hell, yeah!” or some other affirming shout out.

The video takes on the “Mommy Wars,” pitting all the different stereotypical parenting ideologies against each other. We’ve got the formula feeders and the breastfeeders, the working moms and the stay-at-home moms, the babywears and the stroller users. The ad even happens to toss in a group of dads for good measure. All these groups meet up in the park and sling a bunch of tired old one-liners at each other in a sad attempt to throw shade. Keep reading »

Man Whose Wife Chopped His Wang Off Twice Might Do Porn

Man Whose Wife Cut Off His Ween Twice MIght Do Porn

Remember our friend Fan Lung, the unfaithful man in China whose wife chopped his penis off twice? Remember how the doctors re-attached it, then his wife came back in his hospital room like, “Nope, sorry bud,” and chopped it off AGAIN and threw it to the street? Well, a porn company wants to help his rehabilitation by offering him a starring role in a movie of his very own.  The Mirror reports that company Bang You Later reached out to our possibly-penis-less friend. Here’s what they had to say:

We would like to make a porn film that features you and your current romantic partner, Zhang Hung…

Our intention is to help you financially through this incredibly delicate time but to also help you to restore your sexual confidence.

It has been repeatedly demonstrated that being intimate on camera can function as a liberating and effective form of therapy.

Oh, word? Keep reading »

Utah Parents Kill Themselves, Three Of Their Kids For Fear Of The Apocalypse

Last year, the bodies of Benjamin and Kristi Strack, along with three of their children were found in a locked room in their home in Springfield, Utah. On Tuesday, police held a press conference revealing that the Stracks had likely killed themselves and the children in order to avoid “evil in the world” and what they believed were the coming horrors of the apocalypse.

The Stracks and their children overdosed on cold medications, methadone and — in Benjamin’s case — heroin, most of which was drunk from a beach pail. They were found by Kristi Strack’s 27-year-old son from a previous marriage and their grandmother. Keep reading »

The First Trailer For The “Wet Hot American Summer” Series Is Here!

Wet Hot American Summer
Are You Excited Yet?

In case you haven’t heard, “Wet Hot American Summer” is making a comeback — in Netflix form! The eight-episode miniseries will tell follow the story of the very first day at Camp Firewood in the summer of ’81. Original stars Amy Poehler, Bradley Cooper, Paul Rudd and Elizabeth Banks will return for the series, and while the trailer reveals pretty much nothing at this point, it’s clear that the series’ summer premiere is worth looking forward to! [Daily Dot]

 

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