“Assassin’s Creed” With Kittens Is Way Better Than Plain Old Regular “Assassin’s Creed”

Kittens Assassins Creed
Kittens: Tough Than They Look

Kittens really do make everything better — even video games. In this little film, the game “Assassin’s Creed Unity” becomes “Assassin’s Kittens Unity”, which is obviously way more fun for everyone involved. Also, I’m going to make the assumption that there is someone out there in the world who is employed to make patterns for kitten film costumes. Life dream status. [Jezebel]

Cheryl Strayed: Reese Witherspoon Is The Real Deal In “Wild”

“There are sentences that I wrote that I can see written on her face…There’s nothing artificial about her. I think that’s what makes her such a spectacular actress and such a relatable movie star, too. Reese is one of us. She’s real people.”

Is there anything more promising about the upcoming film adaptation of Wild than the approval of Cheryl Strayed herself? The author of the memoir-turned-upcoming-movie told Vogue that Reese Witherspoon, who stars in the film and is on the cover of the magazine this month, came to visit her Portland home to prepare for playing Cheryl onscreen. The two talked about “everything from our childhood to our parents and what we were like in high school to our sex lives and our love lives and our romantic histories.” Beneath the surface, it seems, Reese relates to Cheryl’s experiences far more than her fans might realize. Reese, who is on this month’s Vogue cover, explained to the magazine: Keep reading »

Watch The Horrible Beauty Of “The Eyes Of Hitchcock”

"You shouldn't have kept souvenirs of a killing!"

I’d say that “The Eyes of Hitchcock” from video essayist kogonada is right in time for Halloween season, but let’s be real, here, Hitchcock season is all year round. My best friend in high school indoctrinated me on Hitchcock, and this video illustrates beautifully why he’s possibly the greatest director of all time. By today’s standards there’s not much that’s shocking or scary-in-the-surprising-way about Hitchcock’s films, but there’s something supremely off-setting about John Ferguson’s obsessions in Vertigo, for example, that no other director could have captured so well. Well, enjoy, and perhaps it’s about time I got around to watching Rebecca, eh? [Juxtapoz]

Holler at me on Twitter.

UK Troll Sentenced To 18 Weeks In Prison For Rape Threats

Remember last year, when a UK politician was supporting an effort to get Jane Austen put on the 10-pound note and got flooded with rape threats on Twitter? No? I vaguely remember — vaguely, because it’s just one of the many, many, many instances in which women have received rape threats over Twitter in the last two years and it’s made the news. Plus, it seems like maybe the mildest thing in the world to try to get Jane Austen’s face on a bank note. Not that trolls are ever justified for making rape threats but … Jane Austen? Really? How does one manage to use Jane Austen as an excuse for rape threats? Keep reading »

20 Non-Sexy Reasons For Making Sexual Sounds

Grilled Cheese

You know that moment where you make an expression of glee, sometimes not even realizing you’re doing it aloud, and find yourself getting uncomfortable looks from everyone else in the room? You probably just made a really sexual sound in public. It happens more than we’d like to admit to ourselves, because being turned on isn’t the only thing supremely satisfying enough to illicit moans, whimpers and sighs of ecstasy. After the jump, 20 not-so-sexy things that spark orgasmic sound effects!

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Be My Boyfriend: Jeff Goldblum Is Now Rocking 70′s Hair

You Had Me At "Jeff Goldblum"
I am one of those creepy millennial Jeff Goldblum fans with an excessive crush on him despite our roughly 40-year age difference. I know I’m not the only one out there — I mean, how can you not love this face, or this one? Yes, it’s a little bizarre that he’s currently engaged to a woman 30 years younger than he is, but it would be pretty hypocritical of me to judge since I’d totally go on a date with him, like, yesterday if I had the chance. Since Jeff and I aren’t meant to be, I can settle for being charmed by his humor in his quirky new ad campaign for GE. The commercial is directed by Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim of Adult Swim and provides us all with glorious footage of Jeff rocking shiny hair and sparkly attire (and one semi-awkward hot tub scene). You’re welcome, world.
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