10-Year-Old Girl Writes Adorably Scathing Review Of The Cinderella Restaurant At Disney World

10-Year-Old Girl Writes Adorably Scathing Review Of The Cinderella Restaurant At Disney World
Dealbreaker: Disney Freak
Dealbreaker: An Adult Who's Obsessed with Disney
Hell no, she won't date an adult who's still obsessed with Disney. Read More »

Apparently, Cinderella’s Royal Table is the Lamborghini of Disney World restaurants. If you haven’t made a reservation for the highly-coveted princess eatery at least six months in advance, you can forget about it. One 10-year-old Disney World guest, however, did not find the experience to her liking, and wants to save future Disney visitors the trouble. In a one-star review under the TripAdvisor username WDWexpert, she shared her subpar experience of dining surrounded by princess-loving plebs with plastic wands and being offered the most mediocre of food options: chicken nuggets. The full review is too good not to include in its entirety:

We went to this restaurant for dinner after having heard that it was one of the best at WDW (Walt Disney World). Having gone to WDW many times before I can safely say that unless you have young ones that love princesses it isn’t worth your money. When I first went I was counted as an adult by disney (tickets and such) but, was ten about to turn eleven. My parents and I had saved the money to go because a) When we made our reservation we were told when we asked if it was character dining that it was not. B) We thought it would be a nice end to our trip and C) We had never gone and thought that we should try something new. Keep reading »

University Of Oregon Public Safety Officer Reveals Co-Workers’ Extensive List Of People Who Should “Eat A Bowl Of Dicks”

A former University of Oregon public safety officer is suing the University after being fired in 2012 for reporting misconduct within the school’s police department. According to the released officer James Cleavenger, a handful of his fellow officers kept a “Bowl of Dicks” list which they regularly updated instead of working. For those unfamiliar with a “Bowl Of Dicks” list, it is a list people and things that should eat a bowl of dicks. Yes, it’s that simple. Keep reading »

Beauty Test Drive: Benefit’s They’re Real! Push-Up Liner

Beauty Test Drive: Benefit's They're Real! Push-Up Liner

Somehow I managed to enter my third decade on Earth without ever having tried a cat’s eye with gel eyeliner before. Of course I’d worn eyeliners — browns, golds, even blues — but something about that thick, black cat’s eye intimidated me. I thought you needed to have that “cool girl” look, like the author Caitlin Moran or Alex Vause on “Orange Is The New Black.” But a quick Google Image shows a wide variety of celebs in winged eyeliner, from Angelina Jolie and Kate Hudson, to Dita Von Teese and Rihanna. Cat’s eyes, it turns out, are surprisingly versatile.

So I bucked up and tried black gel eyeliner for the first time, coached by my coworkers Sophie and Katie (who couldn’t believe I was a black eyeliner virgin). The product was a sample of Benefit’s They’re Real! Push-Up Liner, which turned out to be perfectly easy for a newbie like me. Keep reading »

Watch These Pets Interfering With Yoga

Pets Interrupting Yoga
Not So Namaste!

You know that moment when you’re trying to get into downward dog, only to be interrupted by your actual dog? Apparently, it’s pretty much an epidemic among yogi pet owners. Whether yoga is your thing or not, it’s hard not to giggle at these pets stealing the show while their humans are trying to get their namaste on. [Huffington Post]

Jennifer Aniston Loves Justin Theroux’s “Beautifully Captured Eyeballs”

“I commend him for his courage. This is not normal for him. He’s so graceful and utterly kind and golden. It is amazing. He’s just so beautiful and handsome to me, and I love that his eyeballs are so beautifully captured because those eyes just knock me out every day. He just gets better every year. He’s just like a lost gem in the sand, and he’s just always been there and been brilliant, and now this is just in a different light.”

I love it when celebrities seize an opportunity to glow about their significant others and just run with it. In this case, Jennifer Aniston was at a party celebrating her fiance’s Details cover and shared some details of her own about what makes Justin so special. She really laid it on thick, huh? A golden, graceful, brilliant lost gem in the sand, staring up at her with his beautifully captured eyeballs. Was she high? She sounds high. [WWD]

Israelis Told They Have To Remove “Men Only” Signs Off Bomb Shelter

no women allowed sign

A rabbinical court in Israel was recently ordered to remove  ”men only” signs from its bomb shelter. The gender segregation in the bomb shelters  would be keeping with the Orthodox Jewish practice of separating the sexes. As The Week notes, the court had a separate space for “women only,” but it was amidst the regular courtrooms in a room only accessible by a code and “did not appear to provide extra security or protection.” So, like, not really a bomb shelter? Keep reading »

True Story: The Nightmare Consumers Who Inspired Me To Pare Down

True Story: The Nightmare Consumers Who Inspired Me To Pare Down
Less Is More
Less Is More: How To Apply Minimalism To Your Wardrobe
How to apply minimalism to your wardrobe. Read More »

Every few days, they would come home with hundreds of dollars worth of brand-name groceries and struggle to fit them into their bursting cabinets. They had two freezers and two refrigerators to hold food for three adults and one child. The food would spoil in the fridge or go stale on the shelf and just stay there for weeks. They ate out almost every night, spending $60 at a time at KFC, wrapping up the leftovers, and then never eating them.

On Christmas, the child would get fifty presents, and not tiny presents but whole playsets, Lego sets, motorized cars, animals. Birthdays were the same, and Easter, the Fourth of July, Halloween, and Thanksgiving were all treated as further opportunities to give the child presents. If the kid wanted something, they’d hound the parents for weeks, throwing tantrums, guilting, pleading for hours at a time, until the parents’ patience would wear thin and they’d buy it, even between the holiday milestones. Keep reading »

Today In Terrifying: You Can Put Your Selfies On Toast

selfie toast

If social media is becoming too boring of an outlet for your selfies, consider the untapped market that is personalized toast. For a mere $75, the “toast engineers” at a novelty toaster company in Vermont will splice your high-resolution photo into a toaster, forever to be printed on Wonderbread slices of your choice. After all, “you don’t have to be famous or Jesus to have your face on toast!” (Yes, that is an actual thing their website says.)

Is there any greater gift than this in today’s age of widespread narcissism? The company’s goal is to make personalized toast more accessible to us commonfolk, because celebrities shouldn’t be the only ones who get to “create fun breakfast memories” of eating their own faces. Well, I guess toast equality one way to stick it to the one percent. Keep reading »

Anna Paquin & 10 Other Celebs Who’ve Jumped On The Purple Hair Trend

I remember when “True Blood” first debuted and we got our first glimpse of New Zealander Anna Paquin (then still best known for her Oscar-winning role in “The Piano” years before) as blonde waitress Sookie Stackhouse. Paquin looked so different and not like herself as a blonde, but thanks to her complete embodiment of the role, it didn’t take long before it became hard to imagine her as anything but a towhead. Well, Anna’s apparently been itching for a change, so when “True Blood” finished filming its final season this week, the actress went straight for the bottle. The dye bottle. Paquin posted these photos to social media yesterday, showing off her new purple and blue hair, and I think it looks amazing. Hmm, maybe it’s time I did a little experimenting… [E! Online]

Anna’s new look is daring, sure, but it’s also surprisingly “on trend,” as the lady mags say. Many fashionable celebs have dyed their hair some shade of purple, lilac, lavender or eggplant in the last few years. Maybe purple is the new ombre? Click through for more…

Pad Gardner, The Man Who Wants To Be A Maxi Pad, Alleges He Was Assaulted By MRAs

Meet Pad Gardner
He wants to become a Kotex maxi pad. Read More »

Remember Pad Gardner, the guy who is trying to become a pink, disposable maxi pad? Pad is obviously a unique individual and his desire to be something that is, according to his Facebook About Me section, “pressed against a soft vulva for a woman’s period” seems fairly harmless. (Although maybe I just think that because I use tampons and/or a Diva Cup, and no pads of any kind ever go near my vulva.) But according to a Facebook status update posted last night, Pad has become a target of Men’s Rights Activists (MRAs). Pad’s post explains:

Today I went to my math class at the college, and upon leaving class I was being followed around by two guys. After leaving the college they continued to follow me downtown as I walked. I realized I was being followed, and hid inside a bathroom downtown. They came into the bathroom, and jumped me. They said I didn’t belong in the Men’s Room. They hit me in the stomach and ran. Keep reading »

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