Confession: Sometimes, when I have food stuck in my teeth and no floss on hand, I am industrious enough to pluck a hair from my own head to use instead. I’ve never met anyone else who’s been as clever, so for a second, I thought this Gawker headline was about me: “This Woman Uses Her Hair as Floss in the Name of Thrift.” Except it’s not, because I do it in the name of convenience, not because I’m cheap. (I’m guessing “Amelia is the Bear Grylls of emergency dentistry” was #31 on this list.) Apparently, this fellow DIY flosser and kindred spirit of mine appears on a new episode of the show “Extreme Cheapskates,” and while I agree it’s extremely cheap to use hair instead of floss because you don’t want to spend money on it, I don’t see what’s so crazy about using one or two strands of my own hair to get a piece of kale out of my teeth. Yes, one or two. Sometimes one works, but occasionally I have a two-strand situation on my hands. I don’t recommend using three. The only thing worse than having food stuck in your teeth is having hair floss stuck in your teeth, TRUST. [Gawker]
Goddess bless Robyn Pennacchia at Death and Taxes for allowing us to tune into her heart song as she transcended into the cosmic abyss of Free People’s “Spirituality Shop.” Free People, for those not in the know, is a clothing and accessories brand. Their stores look like your worst Coachella nightmare. Desperately seeking a pair of crochet pants and a feathered headpiece for some godawful reason? Free People has it ALL. It is also, as Robyn informs us, where you should go if you’re looking to spend mad dough on adding some faux spiritual ephemera to your life. Like these $68 cosmic sticks (left). They are cosmic because, uh, they have a crystal attached to them with embroidery thread, I guess? Keep reading »
Let’s do this. From worst to best… [All Photos: Getty Images] Keep reading »
Jenny McCarthy isn’t actually dumb, she just says dumb shit, like that she’s trans on the inside. There’s a sort of Matryoshka-doll logic there that defies the boundaries of normal conversation — if we understand trans people to be, in the very most basic, bottom line terms, people who were born with a gender identity that does not match their birth gender, or to be x on the inside and y on the outside, then Jenny McCarthy is saying that on the inside, she feels like someone who is different on the inside … My head hurts. Keep reading »
I was glad that my mom and I had exactly the same feelings on having “The Talk”: neither of us wanted to do it, and we were glad that it was over so quickly. I was 11-ish or 12-ish, and my mom casually asked, “We haven’t had The Talk yet, have we?” And I said, “I don’t need to, I know how it works. It’s on TV and in movies.” So she said, “OK, how does it work?” I made my left thumb and forefinger into a circle and jabbed my right index finger into the middle once or twice. My sister Sara laughed.
“That’s not really all we’re supposed to talk about,” my mom said. Keep reading »
A woman I’ll call The Chewer (it’ll make sense soon) and I first messaged each other shortly after things ended with The Teacher over a two months ago. We hit it off as she was about to relocate to my town, and had attended the same university. We decided to meet for drinks after she finally moved up and got settled in. Before we got to that point though, I started going out with a few other women and wanted to see where these potential relationships went. I messaged The Chewer and she thanked me for my honesty and I went about my way.
As it turned out, most of these dates were ho-hum and never amounted to much of anything. I did briefly hit it off with The Marathoner but that ended as quickly as it started. So, my schedule suddenly freed up, I decided to message The Chewer to see if she was still interested in getting a drink. She was so we planned to meet after work two weeks ago (shortly before I went out with The Lawyer). Keep reading »