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Woody Allen Beats Off American Apparel

American Apparel is known for perverse ads which feature their scantily dressed female employees. Although, CEO Dov Charney has already been sued by some of his former employees, he believes in equal opportunity, or so he said in a deposition tape, “I frequently drop my pants to show people my new product.” Vomit. But now someone with a little more to his name is suing American Apparel. Woody Allen, who was featured in a few ads in 2007, including a billboard in New York City, is suing the company for using his image. If you’re afraid to see Woody bent over wearing nothing but a neon g-string and some tube socks, fear not, the ad is actually just of his face — a shot of him dressed up like a Hasidic Jew from his classic romantic comedy Annie Hall. According to our friend Nachshon, who translated, the ad’s slogan reads in Yiddish, “The Holy Rebbie,” which essentially means Woody Allen is Dov Charney’s perv hero. Allen isn’t honored, and just slapped American Apparel with a $10 million dollar lawsuit. While Charney might get away with the ads by calling them “parodies”, it’s comical that someone found a way to make Woody Allen feel violated. [Ad Week]
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The Nookie Know-It-All: Back Door Business

My boyfriend and I have decided to try anal, but I’ve heard it’s good to sort of ‘warm up’ first. Are there tricks to getting myself relaxed enough? I’ve heard porn stars have enemas or stop eating a day before. Do I have to go to all that trouble? What if it comes up more spontaneously? — Back Door Betty, Santa Clara, CA

Here’s a little tip about porn stars. The enema and no eating a day before anal is, I imagine, like a method actor preparing for a role. Did you hear how Tom Hanks prepared for his role in Cast Away? He literally starved himself for weeks at a time so he could actually feel like he was stranded on a deserted island. For porn stars, their butt IS that island. Yours isn’t, so don’t get so freaked out.

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More Wrinkle-Obsessed Narcissists Choosing Dermal Fillers

The Harvard Women’s Health Watch reports that dermal fillers are becoming more popular for women looking to erase wrinkles. Is it just me, or did we know that collagen and Restylane were popular a few years ago? What’s really news (ha) is that some celebs are using other methods to prevent wrinkles and keep their bodies youthful and fit. Victoria Beckham has been using a $110 “natural Botox” face cream, in addition to following a low carb diet to prevent her skin from sagging and eating nuts and seeds to help her skin glow. And Madonna’s sick figure is the product of hard work. “There’s no easy way,” she told British Elle. “If you want to know how I look like I do, it’s diet and exercise and constantly being careful.” I think I’d rather eat an ice cream Snickers. [Medical News Today, AHN, and PopSugar] Keep reading »

Bad Date Hall Of Fame: The Penny-Pinching Male Feminist

Bad dates suck. But let’s face it, after a certain length of time, they can be pretty funny in retrospect. In honor of the grand tradition of laughing uproariously at disastrous dates, we’re taking submissions for The Bad Date Hall Of Fame. Send yours to tips@thefrisky.com – and if we publish yours, we’ll send you a pair of Frisky underpants. After the jump, a bad date uses the “feminist” card in order to get out of paying for dinner. Keep reading »

The Daily Squeeze: SATC Vacays, Sex Toys, And Housing In Paris

  • A travel company plans to take advantage of the May 30 release of the Sex and the City movie by offering theme vacations, which will cost $15,000 to $24,000 for a four-day tour. Save your money, people. If you want to go to Saks, Barneys, Tiffany, and Patricia Field, we’d be happy to give you the addresses. [Reuters]
  • Some French females are bartering for housing with sex. [The Times, U.K.]
  • Be careful what sex toys you purchase, because the industry is largely unregulated (ever wonder why it says “novelty product” on the packaging?) Some materials, like plastic or latex, are porous and can’t be properly sterilized. Plus, phthalates, a chemical often added to plastics to make them more flexible, can leach out over time and be absorbed through the body’s mucus membranes. Stick to silicone. [The Edmonton Journal, Canada]
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