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TV Networks Announce Their Fall Lineups. We Have A Feeling We Won’t Be Leaving The House Much.

Ahhh, it’s the best time of year—flowers are blooming, spring is springing. Oh, and it’s “upfronts week,” when the networks unveil their shows for the fall in the hopes that advertisers will come clammering and waving dollar bills in their face. Oh, you thought you were going to have a life this fall? That’s sweet, but there are really far too many exciting new TV shows arriving. You’ll need to be prepared. Here is the show from each network we think sounds the most DVR-able. Keep reading »

The 2010 Olympic Torch Looks Like A Joint

Remember when Michael Phelps got in trouble for smoking weed? Well, we think the Olympic people are toeing the hypocritical line because the torch they designed for the 2010 games looks unmistakably like a joint. It’s made of of stainless steel, aluminum, and sheet molding, but that hasn’t stopped many from calling it the “Olympic Toke.” We aren’t really surprised that this sweet item hails from Vancouver, a very “marijuana-friendly” place. Maybe the designers were trying to promote British Columbia’s biggest cash crop? Keep reading »

Rapex Anti-Rape Condoms Turn Your Vagina Into A Penis Fly Trap

We’re all for rape prevention, but when you can’t stop the crime, why not score immediate payback with the help of a little latex and some barbed plastic? That’s the idea behind rape-prevention condoms by RapeX. Basically, if you feel like you may be in danger one evening — exploring a foreign city alone, getting walked home by a cute stranger you just met — you put the device into your nether regions with an applicator, and anything that gets all up in your space will be gnarled by the barbs. They’re made of plastic, but those suckers have a nasty bite and will need to be surgically removed.

We hope you’ll never have to test out the RapeX, but we can pretty much guarantee the jerk on the receiving end won’t get very far once his man bits are being ripped open by your hidden defenses. [RapeX] Keep reading »

The Invasion Of Pink Board Games

I like pink. Exhibit A: my bubble gum-colored toe nail polish. Exhibit B: my favorite pink mug. But even I am a taken aback by the onslaught of board games lately that have gotten girly, pinkified makeovers. Take, for example, Designer’s Edition Scrabble, which comes in a powder pink box complete with the word F-A-S-H-I-O-N spelled out on the cover. The Toys ‘R’ Us website says it has “style, taste and elegant accessories like a pastel rotating gameboard, pearlescent letter tiles and embroidered fabric pouch. All the fashionable game pieces are designed with a woman in mind, but with the same Scrabble challenge you know and love.” I don’t care if the letters are pearlized. In Scrabble, the only thing I notice is the look on your face when I beat your ass with a killer seven-letter word like X-I-P-H-O-I-D.

Scrabble isn’t the only classic game that’s been pinkified in an attempt to lure in “girly” consumers. Check out the others after the jump. Keep reading »

Women Give Their Babymakers A Rest While The Economy Gets Back On Track

The recession is effecting more than just our wallets. As money gets tighter, a lot of women are putting their baby-making plans on hold. Women’s clinics across California are getting record numbers of calls, and many of the callers are wanting abortions. And not just single women—a lot of them have families already, but are reconsidering poppin’ another one out because, well, kids are expensive and folks are worried about losing their jobs. Check out some other ways women are restructuring their sex lives these days. [LATimes] Keep reading »

TSA Porn Or Security Measure?

After 9/11, airports became a place where every traveler is a terror suspect. In an effort to combat terror threats, some airports have turned into virtual high-tech strip joints. You might not have realized it, but the Transportation Security Administration has been testing 40 “whole-body imaging” machines at 19 airports. Critics say the machines, which cost a whopping $170,000, perform a “virtual strip search” and produce “naked” pictures of travelers. Now, protestors have started a national campaign to suspend use of the technology until privacy safeguards are set. “We don’t have the policy to hold [the TSA] to what they say. They’re writing their own rule book at this point,” said Lillie Coney, associate director of the Electronic Privacy Information Center. Keep reading »

Kris Allen Beats Adam Lambert For The Title of “American Idol”

I don’t think I’ve seen America so wound up over the results of an election since November. In case you live under a rock, Kris Allen, the Jack Johnson-type from Arkansas, beat out glam-rocker Adam Lambert from San Diego for the title of “American Idol” last night. The star-studded season finale, which included performances by Cyndi Lauper, KISS, Queen, and a host of other music legends, ran over two hours. “It feels good,” Kris replied when Ryan asked how it felt to win, “but Adam deserves this.” If Twitter-verse is any indication, a lot of America agrees with him. Keep reading »

Skip This Flick: Lars Von Trier’s “Antichrist”

If you’re mid-breakfast, you might want to skip this post. One of the films that debuted at this week’s Cannes Film Festival is “Antichrist,” the latest from director Lars Von Trier. Since the screening yesterday, everyone has been talking about how the movie crosses the line of what’s appropriate for “mainstream” cinema. Starring Charlotte Gainsbourg and Willem Dafoe, the film is about a couple who, while mourning the death of their young son, mutilate each other in vile, graphic, despicable ways.

“Gainsbourg hits Dafoe so hard in the testicles with a plank of wood that he lapses into a coma. He ejaculates blood when she masturbates him. She drills a hole through his leg before tying him to a rock. But the scene that has caused the most disquiet is the close-up of Gainsbourg’s character cutting off her clitoris with a rusty pair of scissors.”

Keep reading »

Quickies!: Miss California’s Mom May Be GAY?!

  • Carrie Prejean’s mother is rumored to be gay! A woman named Valerie Vetrano told the Star that she dated the Cali girl’s mom. [Star]
  • “Gossip Girl” actress Kathy Rutherford has hired a private eye to spy on her (soon to be ex) husband. She’s claims he leaves his pool uncovered, which is dangerous for their two-year-old son. [People]
  • Simon Cowell’s ex-girlfriend, Terri Seymour, was attacked by a crazy “American Idol” fan last night after leaving the finale. [Dlisted]
  • Keep reading »

    Shun, Shag, Or Marry: Who Should Get The Empty Supreme Court Seat?

    Supreme Court Justice David Souter is a wackadoodle. He’s eaten the same lunch everyday for 19 years—yogurt and an apple. He refuses to get a computer. And even though he was appointed by Republican George Bush, he usually sides with the liberally-minded folks on the bench. Now that Souter is retiring, we hope Obama will fill the seat with someone equally as interesting.

    Rumor has it that Obama wants a woman for the job — which warms our hearts and our wombs, since there’s only one woman left on the court, and her health isn’t so great. At the top of Obama’s short list: solicitor general Elena Kagan, judge Sonia Sotomayer, and Jennifer Granholm, governor of Michigan. Each met privately with the President yesterday in Washington, DC. Who should the seat go to? We shun, shag, or marry this girl-power menagerie after the jump. Keep reading »

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