News

Now, You Can Finally Taste “Bernie’s Yearning” For Yourself

Megan Reynolds | January 25, 2016 - 4:30 pm

Get your mind out of the gutter, it’s ice cream. More »


Yukon Health And Social Services Wants To Make Sure Everyone Gets A Whole Lot Of D

Megan Reynolds | January 25, 2016 - 3:45 pm

Winter is harsh and unforgiving in many climes, but our nice friends up north in Canada, get it the worst of all. To combat the soul-crushing darkness of a long, Canadian winter, the Yukon Health and Social Services decided to remind citizens that they all could use a hearty dose of the D.

More »


This $200 Igloo In Greenpoint Is Unfortunately No Longer Available

Lauren Vinopal | January 25, 2016 - 2:15 pm

If you give us lemons, we’ll make artisanal lemonade. Give us snow? We’ll make affordable housing. More »



Oxford Dictionary Uses ‘Feminist’ As Definition Of Rabid

Bronwyn Isaac | January 25, 2016 - 2:00 pm

Shifting our language will require a lot of untangling, and we will need to choose our battles. Luckily, we rabid feminists are here to help!!! More »


This New Study Links Dinosaur Horns To Acutal Horniness

Lauren Vinopal | January 25, 2016 - 12:45 pm

Scientists have been trying to figure out for some time why certain dinosaurs like the triceratops were decorated with horns and frills, while others were not. However, new research from the journal Palaeontologia Electronica suggests that these characteristics may have been a result of “socio-sexual signaling.”

In other words, they put the horns in horny.

The… More »


Teenage Ted Cruz Aspired To “World Domination,” Appearing In A “Teenage Tit Film”

Robyn Pennacchia | January 25, 2016 - 12:15 pm

Ted Cruz is totally the dude you avoided in high school. More »



Pharma Bro Doesn’t Like Being Called “Pharma Bro,” U Guise

Rebecca Vipond Brink | January 25, 2016 - 10:45 am

Martin Shkreli, fresh from his ousting from Turin Pharmaceuticals and an arrest for misusing Turin’s funds to pay off unhappy investors, appeared on television last week to all of our chagrin. Why do we keep giving him press, I ask, while simultaneously giving him press?

The biggest takeaway from the entireMore »


Making A Murderer, “Biased” Journalism & Necessary Outrage

Amelia McDonell-Parry | January 25, 2016 - 9:15 am

The outrage that recent true crime series have inspired should not be diminished in favor of handwringing over journalistic imperfections. Anything that successfully chips away at the cult-like reverence with which our country treats those who make and enforce laws should be encouraged. More »


Chris Rock Not Bowing Out Of Oscars But Is ‘Writing a New Show’

Katrin Higher | January 24, 2016 - 3:30 pm

Amidst rumors that Chris Rock would bow out of hosting this year’s Oscars due to the glaring diversity issues in this years nominations, it has now been confirmed that Rock is indeed staying put, but will rewriting the whole script for his opening monologue and the rest of the show. You know this is going… More »



Tennessee Couple Gets Married Outside During Blizzard Jonas

Katrin Higher | January 24, 2016 - 2:00 pm

A daring couple in Nashville, Tennesee decided to get married in the middle of Snowstorm Jonas which was one of the biggest blizzards our fair country has ever seen.

Jessica Reid and John Pyle met exactly a year ago and planned on marrying on that exact anniversary. Rain, shine or harrowing deathly blizzard… More »


Man Ordered To Inform Cops Before Having Sex

Newser | January 24, 2016 - 11:00 am

A seemingly bizarre court order in the UK has been making news around the world. The court in York, England, granted a police request to order a man to inform police at least 24 hours before having sex, and to “disclose the details of any female including her name, address, and date of birth,” the… More »


Donald Trump Boasts: I Could ‘Shoot Somebody, And I Wouldn’t Lose Any Voters’

Katrin Higher | January 24, 2016 - 10:00 am

Only two weeks are left until the Iowa caucus and Trump is as Trump as ever with his latest statements. During a campaign stop at Dordt College in Sioux Center, Iowa, the current Republican front-runner showed us that he has a head the size of this blizzard and ensures the media that his voters will… More »



NASA Shows Us Blizzard Jonas From Space

Katrin Higher | January 24, 2016 - 9:00 am

Massive blizzard Jonas arrived and dumped itself all over the Northeastern United States covering Washington D.C. and New York City with over two feet of snow in some areas and 30 inches at the highest point in Virginia on Saturday afternoon.

Yours truly is stuck inside as NYC Mayor De Blasio has encouraged… More »


Delusional Guy Creates “White Men Only” Scholarship Fund

College Candy | January 23, 2016 - 5:00 pm

Although the Internet gets offended by seemingly everything these days, this is something you should actually be annoyed by.

British conservative writer Milo Yiannopoulos created the Yiannopoulos Privilege Grant and plans to give 50 grants of $2,500 to white men only. The money will come from private donors as well as a $25,000 donation from… More »


Bloomberg May Run For President For Some Reason

Katrin Higher | January 23, 2016 - 3:30 pm

The former two-term mayor of New York City, Michael Bloomberg, has decided to take a stab at the presidential nomination all of a sudden. He has also indicated that he’d probably be willing to spend $1 billion of his own fortune on the campaign. Um, alright?

He’s not 100% sure yet though, and… More »



Pearl Jam, Cher, Meek Mill And Big Sean Donate Funds To Flint Water Crisis

Katrin Higher | January 23, 2016 - 2:30 pm

The water in Flint, Michigan gradually became contaminated with lead when the city switched from the Detroit municipal system and began drawing from the Flint River in April 2014 to save the already struggling city some money. The water was not properly treated to keep lead from pipes from contaminating the supply. As a result,… More »


Hillary Clinton Brings Demi Lovato On Stage To Entice Young Female Voters

Katrin Higher | January 23, 2016 - 1:30 pm

Hillary Clinton teamed up with singer Demi Lovato in Iowa for a rally on Thursday during her campaign tour.

Over 1,600 people – mostly young voters – attended the event where Hillary was met with raucous applause when she appeared on stage.

But even more exciting was when singer Demi Lovato… More »


Kansas Senator To ‘Ladies’: No Mini-Skirts, Please

Newser | January 23, 2016 - 10:00 am

A Kansas state senator has some people’s knickers in a twist after implementing a new dress code that singles out women who wear “skimpy skirts or blouses with plunging necklines,” the Topeka Capital-Journal reports. Mitch Holmes is the chairman of the state’s ethics and elections committee, and his new dress code applies to those testifying before… More »



Bill Cosby Gets One Defamation Lawsuit Dismissed, Unfortunately

Bronwyn Isaac | January 22, 2016 - 5:45 pm

I am hoping this won’t discuss the other women currently undergoing similar battles with Cosby, because fuck — he has a lot of psychological hell to pay for. More »


Watch The Blizzard Bury Our Nation’s Capital From Speaker Paul Ryan’s Balcony

Megan Reynolds | January 22, 2016 - 5:15 pm

Did he pick this music out or…? More »


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