News

Donald Trump’s Spawn Forgot To Register & Can’t Vote For Him In The Primary

Amelia McDonell-Parry | April 11, 2016 - 11:10 am

Womp womp. More »


Here Are The Plus Sides To A Trump Presidency (Just Hear Me Out, OK?)

Amy Rose Lane | April 11, 2016 - 9:40 am

He’s the fecal plume of America. Even if we manage to flush Trump come November, his legacy will taint the air for decades to come. Watching the election unfold is a bit being a character in a Final Destination–chances of death and destruction are extremely high, but someone said YOLO and now we must payMore »


Former First Lady Laura Bush Might Vote For Hillary Clinton

Katrin Higher | April 10, 2016 - 4:00 pm

Joining the ranks of people saying they’d choose anyone over Trump – even if it crossed party lines – is former First Lady Laura Bush. She recently hinted that she would rather see Hillary Clinton in the White House rather than Donald Trump, saying she wants the next president to be someone who cares about… More »


Scientists Grow Shrimp In A Lab And They May End Slavery In Fish Trade

Katrin Higher | April 10, 2016 - 12:30 pm

Americans reportedly eat 4 billion pounds of seafood every year. And a large portion of that (a quarter!) is shrimp. Unfortunately fishing for shrimp is a horrible industry. Shrimp fisherman in Thailand for example are essentially slaves. In addition, the shrimp farming industry has a gigantic carbon footprint.

Biotech scientists decided to start… More »


Former Speaker Of The House Dennis Hastert Sexually Abused At Least 4 Teenage Boys

Katrin Higher | April 10, 2016 - 9:30 am

Former Speaker of the House (from 1999 to 2007), Dennis Hastert allegedly sexually abused at least four teenage boys in the 1960s and 70s when he coached wrestling at an Illinois high school – before his career in politics.

But Hastert is not being charged for the sexual abuse, instead he’s being charged… More »


Republican Operative Says Trump Campaign Manager Called Her a “F–king B—h”

Katrin Higher | April 9, 2016 - 2:00 pm

Just when you think the Trump campaign can’t possibly get any more insane and vitriolic, it adds one more unsurprising notch of hateful discriminatory bullshit to it’s roster.

Corey Lewandowski, Trump’s campaign manager is the perfect example of how violent it has really gotten.

A regional field director for the fiscally… More »


High School Student Accepted To Five Ivies After Writing Essay About Her Love For Costco (She’s Also Smart)

Katrin Higher | April 9, 2016 - 9:30 am

There seems to be an uptick of badass high school girls getting into good colleges lately and this new story adds another to the list.

18-year-old high school student Brittany Stinson is smart as hell and also loves the crap out of Costco. She went about her college applications normally like any diligent… More »


Woman Makes A Brutally Honest Facebook Post About The Realty Of Living With Anxiety

Liz Magee | April 8, 2016 - 4:00 pm

“God knows why I’m doing this, but people need some home truths..” is how Amber Smith begins her Facebook post that has been shared over 7,000 times since its initial posting on Sunday, April 3rd. Smith, a London resident, then describes the two pictures she posted, seen above.
“Top picture: What I showcase to… More »


Facebook Wishes You Were More Comfortable Sharing All Of Your Feelings

Megan Reynolds | April 8, 2016 - 3:00 pm

Ugh, Facebook, go away. More »


Trans Student Victoriously Fights To Run For Prom King, Lives Out Story That Will Definitely Be Optioned As A Movie In The Next 3 To 5 Years

Lauren Duca | April 8, 2016 - 2:00 pm

A trans junior from Tremper High School in Kenosha, Wisconsin has successfully rallied for the right to run for prom king, also winning our hearts along the way, seriously, this kid is a goddamn hero.

Ash Whitaker began his fight, along with an ongoing crusade to use the boys’ bathroom, by simply signing up… More »


Clingy Dog Won’t Leave Owner Alone To Poop, Play Candy Crush, Sleep

Jenni Miller | April 8, 2016 - 12:42 pm

Pet owners have to relinquish plenty of small pleasures in order to share their lives with an animal, whether that’s sleeping in, staying inside during inclement weather, or going to the bathroom in peace. Lauren Birney’s dog Cyrus, a jowly Bullmastiff, has taken things to the next level, as per these damning pictures from Instagram.More »


It’s All Happening (Again): Melissa McCarthy Finally Joins Gilmore Girls

Jenni Miller | April 8, 2016 - 11:45 am

In some brilliant media synergy, Melissa McCarthy is out promoting her new movie The Boss during the exact week that Netflix has revealed the first photos from the highly anticipated Gilmore Girls revival. Yesterday, McCarthy finally revealed on The Ellen DeGeneres Show that she’ll be returning to Stars Hollow after all, to reprise her role… More »


Pope Francis’ New Encyclical Welcomes Gay And Divorced Catholics Back Into Church Life

Rebecca Vipond Brink | April 8, 2016 - 10:43 am

Pope Francis’ long-awaited encyclical on love and marriage, Amoris Laetitia, was published today. In it, Francis doesn’t create any new rules for marriage, but he does elaborate on how priests should treat parishioners who are in “irregular” marriages, such as those who have been divorced and remarried outside of the church, and those who are… More »


Reddit Is Finally Taking Action Regarding The Site’s Massive Online Abuse Problem

Liz Magee | April 7, 2016 - 5:30 pm

Even as a comedian hoping to spread my content all over the internet, I have only posted on Reddit twice. I received some very fun comments like “Women just are not funny,” which was backed by another user who insisted that
“All he’s saying is the truth, all the best comedians are men. You… More »


The World’s Loneliest Whale Is A Sad Horny Musician

Bronwyn Isaac | April 7, 2016 - 3:30 pm

More recent theories about the Leonard Cohen of the sea reveal that his songs aren’t merely a call for someone to love, but a full-on booty call. More »


Indiana Sued By Planned Parenthood And ACLU Over “Fetal Funerals” Law

Robyn Pennacchia | April 7, 2016 - 3:15 pm

Gov. Mike Pence continues to insist the law is totally constitutional. More »


Anti-LGBT Weirdos Claim The “Day Of Silence” Is “Mentally Raping” Their Children

Robyn Pennacchia | April 7, 2016 - 2:30 pm

That…is not a thing. More »


A Woman Has Lost An Eye To Glitter

Leah Prinzivalli | April 7, 2016 - 2:30 pm

“So it’s been a year since I lost my eye to glitter,” reads the worst sentence in the English language. More »


Coming Out On Facebook May Soon Be A Death Sentence In Saudi Arabia

Nico Lang | April 7, 2016 - 1:00 pm

Facebook is making you gay—at least, according to Saudi Arabia. In recent weeks, government officials and local prosecutors have been attempting to curb what they reportedly believe is an outbreak of homosexuality caused by the widespread adoption of social media in the country. PinkNews, an LGBT-centric publication based in the U.K., is reporting that the… More »


Florida Woman Calls Gov. Rick Scott An Asshole Because He Is An Asshole

Liz Magee | April 7, 2016 - 12:45 pm

This past Tuesday, Gov. Rick Scott walked into a Starbucks to get his a very expensive, complicated coffee I presume. Unfortunately for him, but fortunately for the rest of us,  Florida resident, Cara Jennings, was also at this particular Starbucks and she was not having it. Even more fortunately for us, somebody filmed the exchange… More »


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