You know how sometimes you go to the hairdresser asking for just a trim, but you worry that they’ll get chop-happy and cut off more than you asked for? Well, imagine that happening to your penis.
A man named Johnny Lee Banks Jr. recently went to the hospital for a routine circumcision (in as much as getting circumcised as an adult is routine), and woke up from surgery to find that they had amputated his penis. We’re talking gone with the wind, people. Rightfully so, Johnny and his wife, Zelda, are now suing the Princeton Baptist Medical Center in Alabama for the botched job and for their personal suffering from the incident. Keep reading »
Another day, another fool trying to shove things up his butt to hide them from cops. This time, 35-year-old André Silva de Jesus was visiting his local prison in Ribeirao das Neves, Brazil, when he appeared “nervous,” and was pulled aside for an inspection. Claiming he had a pacemaker, André informed the prison guards he couldn’t go through the metal detector.
Little did cops know that they would ultimately find enough crap to rival an entire “Storage Wars” unit, all tucked away in his tush. Keep reading »
With the decisions coming out of the Supreme Court these days, I wouldn’t be too surprised if this was how things actually went down in the judges’ chambers. Can I hang out in the fort too if I give the password? [Funny Or Die]
Click here to see larger image.
Oh, how much fun it would be to work on the creative for a laxative brand’s ad campaign! And fun was clearly what the crazy kids at McCann Healthcare Worldwide were having when they came up with this ad for Dulcolax’s latest ad campaign. Turds! In poop prison! Counting the days they’ve been trapped inside someone’s bowels thanks to constipation! At least until Dulcolax arrives to set them free. Seriously, this has to be the best/worst ad ever. The turds are huddled around AN ASSHOLE, you guys. Genius! (Check out a few more subtle Dulcolax ads after the jump.) [Ads of the World via Ad Week] Keep reading »
Selfies strike again.
Breanna Mitchell, 18, of Roanake, Alabama, graduated from high school this year. In June, she celebrated this milestone by traveling to Europe with her grandmother and visiting Poland. Like many teens, Breanna documented her trip on social media. Sounds like a great story so far, right? The ugh moment is that Breanna snapped a smiling selfie at Auschwitz, posing in front of nondescript buildings with the caption “Selfie in the Auschwitz Concentration Camp” and a grinning emoticon. Keep reading »
I recently read a piece written by Kimberly Foster titled “Why I Will Not March For Eric Garner.” The author plainly states her argument: she refuses to rally in support of Eric Garner — who died of cardiac arrest after being put in a chokehold by an NYPD officer — because she does not believe Black men equally support Black women in their struggle against oppression. In her own words directed to Black men: “I’m not settling for anything less than reciprocity. If you refuse to hear our calls for help, then I cannot respond to yours.”
Many were offended that the author used the untimely death of a man to launch a discussion about sexism in the Black community and I shared that sentiment. Yet the piece sparked a huge discussion about gender inequality amongst myself and a group of coworkers — who happened to be Black men — nonetheless. Keep reading »
Over the course of this week, 11 families in the same neighborhood in San Clemente, California, found creepy porcelain dolls on their doorsteps. As if that in itself weren’t enough to fuel indefinite nightmares, each doll resembled a girl who lived in the house. The girls who received the porcelain doppelgangers were about 10 years old, and most of them attended the same school. The Orange County Sheriff’s Department investigated the situation and found that the culprit was a “female adult” who lives nearby and goes to the same church as many of the families. She seems to have meant well and claims that leaving the dolls was an act of “goodwill.” As the story gained attention, another parent of a five-year-old girl came forward and said wooden dolls with interchangeable clothing were left on the family’s doorstep two weeks ago. There’s no word yet whether the same woman is behind this act. So. Creepy. [The Wire] [Image via Twitter]
A teen girl in North Carolina kept her pregnancy a secret from everyone but her boyfriend, then buried their newborn in her backyard. Police said the infant appeared to have bled to death because the umbilical cord was cut improperly.
Ashley Reed from Louisburg gave birth alone to her 8.5 lb. daughter, but texted her 18-year-old boyfriend through the birth. After the infant died — it’s not clear whether the baby was intentionally or accidentally killed — Ashley placed the newborn in a grocery bag and buried it in her yard. The body was found in late June; a funeral was held for the baby girl last week. Keep reading »