Caller: Dr. Williams, how the heck are you? My wife just came in and made me lunch after she was mowing the yard.
Walter E. Williams: “Good, good. You have her under control.”
Caller: “Absolutely, absolutely.”
Williams: “I guess you’ve learned a lot from me.”
Caller: “I’ve been listening to you for a long time. She does a lot more chores than she used to, so I appreciate that.”
Williams: “Okay! And I believe in keeping wives under control.”
Caller: “You’re a good man.”
— Radio host Walter E. Williams, who was filling in on The Rush Limbaugh Show and making us vom. [MediaMatters.org] Keep reading »
In fifth grade I was the new kid in school, which is always hard. But I think it’s hardest in gym class. Especially if you’re the new “chubby” kid with zero athletic ability. Hello locker room spitballs.
It was the day before Thanksgiving and, much to my dismay, running day in gym class. Running days were my most dreaded, aside from dodge ball days — my head is a ball magnet for some reason. I was the slowest runner in my class besides Stephen, the even fatter, even newer kid who everyone called “Snuffy.” I already knew what would happen out there on the track. Everyone would be staring at me from the sidelines, having finished ages ago, as I rounded my final lap, huffing and puffing from my allergies, turning red with embarrassment and possible heat stroke, everyone laughing as I crossed the finish line flapping my arms. I can’t do this today, I just can’t, I thought. I hid in a corner of the locker room trying to come up with creative ways to get out of running.
Mr. Pollack, the gym teacher, announced that we would be running the “Turkey Trot” — a glorified one-mile run with a stupid name to make it sound fun. The person who came closest to guessing their time would win a giant, chocolate turkey. How awesome would that be to receive a giant piece of chocolate at the end of this torture session? So totally radical, to use the vernacular of the day. Not that I needed any chocolate. Keep reading »
“Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” is going through some major changes this week. In case you need a refresher course, this policy bans openly gay or bisexual individuals from serving in the U.S. military and prohibits superior officers from questioning a person’s sexuality. The thing is that nothing in Washington is ever simple and with all the political babbling and legislative back-and-forth, we’re starting to get pretty confused. After the jump, we break down what’s been going on this week. Keep reading »