Even the biggest slut you know (probs me?) ain’t got nothin’ on a horny Neanderthal. Our ancestors were some freaky bitches — that’s where you get it from, Frisky readers! Mystery solved. Earlier this week, a team of Canadian and British scientists unveiled a way to test just how big a tramp your great-great-great-great-great-grandparents were. Apparently, a propensity for promiscuity is related to prenatal androgens. Those hormones also govern the finger-size ratio.
After carefully examining the remains of early apes, hominins, Ardipithecus ramidus, and Australopithecus afarensis, the researchers were able to show a trend in ye ol’ hoes. The more skanky and sex-loving the early human, the lower index-to-ring finger ratio. By comparatively measuring, blah, blah, blah, science. Let’s get to the good part: how to test your own loosey-goosey legacy, after the jump! Keep reading »
God bless The Smoking Gun for bringing amazing tales about the laws of justice smacking down on criminals. For example! Melissa Lee Williams, 41, of West Virginia, who was arrested for threatening two men with a knife because they declined to engage in sexual contact with her. So, the story goes that Williams showed up at her ex-husband’s place at the motor inn in which they both reside. When Danny Williams answered the door, Ms. Williams ordered him and another man to “eat my p**sy,” as she disrobed. Her ex declined, but the other man, Adam Watson, agreed and began to approach … Keep reading »
Remember how I warned you about 22 costumes that wouldn’t get you laid, and one of them was this here Breathalyzer? Well, what I forgot to mention was you also shouldn’t get wasted in this get-up and then attempt to drive home. Unfortch, 19-year-old Nebraskan Matthew Nieveen didn’t see the hilarious irony of getting arrested for a DUI on Halloween dressed like this … or maybe he did. He was pulled over and thrown in the detox slammer with a French maid and naughty border patrol agent. Wait, that’s a punishment? Sounds like the makings of an awesome porno! Well, I guess young Mr. Nieveen should just be especially glad that unlike the costume Breathalyzer, the police one isn’t in someone’s crotch. [Best Week Ever]
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Breaking cute thing news! A baby panda was born this morning to mama panda, Lun Lun, at Zoo Atlanta. Let me repeat that: A BABY PANDA!!!! Lun Lun, age 13, gave birth to a cell phone-sized cub inside a special “birthing den” in the zoo’s giant panda house. This is a huge deal because only 1,600 panda bears exist worldwide and, unfortunately, they do not seem to enjoy having sex. Artificial insemination is how Lun Lun’s gotten knocked up with her three cubs, including this one. Keep reading »