I so desperately want to tell you about good stuff in the world. Like, Joe, the retired barber who cuts homeless peoples’ hair in exchange for hugs. Let Joe remind you that humans are great sometimes. I wish Joe’s haircuts cancelled out Stephanie Redus’ attempt to unload her toddler son on Craigslist. The 29-year-old Texas mom was charged with “unlawfully intentionally and knowingly” placing her son, Conner Danger Redus, up for adoption. In an ad posted on CL on May 1st, Redus said:
“Hi, I’m trying to adopt out my three year old son. I’m not in a good place in my life and don’t feel like I can care for him properly, but I don’t know where to start. If you or know anyone who is interested in caring for him please let me know. I’m a single mom and can’t do this. Thanks, Desperate.”
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CeCe Bruce has been working as a server at an Indianapolis Steak ‘n Shake for the past two years while going to school part-time. One of the restaurant’s regular customers, who is known as Miss Jo, comes in at least once a week, and developed a fondness for Bruce. After eating breakfast at one of Bruce’s tables earlier this week, Miss Jo asked if she could leave a “ridiculously large tip” on her $6 bill. Keep reading »
A school district in Michigan has banned two pregnant teen girls from showing their bellies in the high school yearbook, claiming it goes against the school district’s abstinence-only sex ed policy. “It’s our feeling … that (the photos) could very well be a contrary message to (the state policy),” White Could Public Schools Superintendent Barry Seabrook said. “We’re not saying they can’t have their photos in the yearbook.” But they do have to reshoot waist-up photos in the yearbook if they want to be included.
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A young lady named Bridget Evans graduated from the graduate program at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign this week — and right by her side, wearing a matching blue cap and gown, was her service dog named Hero. “We can read each other’s minds,” Evans told “The Today Show.” “We’re so attuned to each other. He’s my best friend, roommate, classmate, and like my sibling. I’m so grateful that I got to celebrate my day with Hero by my side and my family in the audience.” Evans’ six-year-old chocolate Lab accompanies his mistress everywhere to help her cope with spina bifida, a spine-related birth defect which has required 37 surgeries. He’s pulled her wheelchair up ramps, picked up dropped pens and turned off lights. The 24-year-old said that since Hero attended every single one of her classes, “He deserved a cap and gown as much as I did.” Damn straight! Congratulations to Bridget Evans and her Hero! [NBC News Tumblr] [Photo via Bridget Evans]
Remember how George Foreman named each of his five sons George? He couldn’t get enough of his own name, I guess. Well, a Brazillian mother of 12 has got him beat by a friggin’ mile. She’s named each of her 15 kids Walter. Like, all of them. Even the girls.
Erotides Brandao promised she’d name her firstborn after her husband Walter — and she did. The girl’s name is Walterlucia. But then Walter got a big head about it, and decided all of his kids would bear his name. Walter died in 2003, but the tradition continues on: all 33 of his grandchildren also have Walter in their names.
And my, did Brandao get creative.
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Well, you really screwed this one up. You thought it’d be sooooo funny to pretend to be a baby and get in a McDonald’s-provided high chair? But you didn’t count on getting stuck in there, did you?
Cork, Ireland, police were rushed to the scene, and had to pry you out of the high chair. And dude, you were there all by yourself. Keep reading »
Each summer, around the time that it hits about 90 degrees and 90 percent humidity, I walk by the public pool at the park in my neighborhood and contemplate diving in. I ache for a cool dip. But then I see all the children in the pool and first thing I think is, You can’t go swimming, there’s DOODIE in there. Perhaps I was scarred by watching “Caddyshack” too many times as a kid. I know it was just a candy bar, but I’ve never been able to rid myself of the nagging suspicion that there is real scat in my local swimming pool. Turns out, I was right.
According to a new report that will ruin public swimming pools for you forever, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention discovered that about 58 percent of public pools in the Atlanta area tested positive for fecal E.Coli bacteria. I can only imagine that these stats are consistent around the country, which means that most kids shit in the pool. Keep reading »
Ten minutes. I was hitting the 10-minute mark of just standing in front of the freezers, seemingly debating whether to buy a quart or a gallon of milk. Or perhaps unsure of which kind I wanted. Skim or whole? Maybe 2 percent? I had a pensive look on my face.
It’s the look I get when I’m frozen inside. Generally from shock. Often from fear. Almost always after a harrowing experience that’s left me momentarily paralyzed.
My allergies had been just horrific, but I’d decided to brave the run across the street to the little bodega anyway because I’d been out of dishwasher soap and milk and coffee filters for three days. As I walked up the steps to the entrance, two men walked out. Because I’m a woman who’s been trained by society not to look strange men in the eye when its dark out and they look potentially threatening, I didn’t. But they stopped in the doorway and came up close to me, speaking far louder than was necessary. “Whoa mama, look at those tits.” “Daaaaamn. Naw like really dog, daaaaaaamn.” One started masturbating and pushed up close to my face as I stared at the ground, trying to navigate around them. He rubbed himself and licked his lips as he undressed me with his eyes and loudly proclaimed what he’d do to me. Keep reading »