News

Hot Dog Shocker: Former 4th Of July Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Champ Loses To A Newbie

By: Katrin Higher / July 5, 2015

Ah yes, it wouldn’t be a sweaty, smelly and frightening display of debauched patriotism without the annual Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating contest! But this year took a different turn for the first time in eight years.

Move over Joey Chestnut, there’s a new hot dog scarfing machine in town. Long live the “Megatoad.”… More »


Former Disney CEO Says Funny, Beautiful Women Are Impossible To Find While We Barf From His Sexism

By: Katrin Higher / July 4, 2015

Former Disney CEO and not beautiful or funny bald piece of shit Michael Eisner was quoted as saying to Goldie Hawn:

“From my position, the hardest artist to find is a beautiful, funny woman, they usually—boy am I going to get in trouble, I know this goes online, but usually, unbelievably beautiful women,… More »


July 4th Selfie Campaign To Help Keep Dogs Safe During Fireworks

By: Katrin Higher / July 4, 2015

Happy 4th of July to American humans! Not so much the doggies of these humans, however.

More pets go missing over the Fourth of July weekend than any other time of year, according to the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals. Most dog owners keep their dogs inside during the… More »


Malia Obama Spotted On Set Of ‘Girls’ In Brooklyn

By: Katrin Higher / July 4, 2015

First daughter Malia Obama, and incidentally also one of our style icons, was spotted in Brooklyn on Friday, shooting an episode of Lena Dunham’s television series ‘Girls.’

She was spotted sipping a drink outside of the hipster haven Aurora Restaurant in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. And it appears as though she is in a scene… More »


Not Surprisingly, Dylann Roof Was In Contact With White Supremacists

By: Katrin Higher / July 4, 2015

Dylann Roof, the gunman who killed 9 people in a black church in Charleston, South Carolina last month, was discovered to have associated with other white supremacists before he carried out his massacre.

Investigators into the crime have found information linking Roof to other supremacists which means that if any of these associate… More »


France Rejects Julian Assange’s Asylum Plea

By: Katrin Higher / July 4, 2015

Thank you France, for rejecting douchebag Julian Assange’s plea to come to your country for asylum.

The Wikileaks founder, Julian Assange is currently in holding at the Ecuadorian embassy in London awaiting a trial by Swedish authorities for allegations of sex crimes by two women—one of rape and the other of sexual assault. More »


The Soapbox: How Fox News Helped Turn My Conservative Dad Into A Gay Marriage-Loving Liberal

By: Sydney Leathers / July 3, 2015

Last Friday, the Supreme Court, in a 5-4 decision, ruled that same sex couples have the right to marry. What an incredible day in American history. It’s a victory I’m happy to share with my dad. No, my dad isn’t gay, but he his opinion on gay marriage has made a lot of progress. A… More »


US And Japan Will Square Off For Women’s World Cup Championship

By: Rebecca Vipond Brink / July 2, 2015

Are you watching the Women’s World Cup Yet? And elsewhere, the Episcopal Church has approved same-sex marriage ceremonies, and Norway’s running a safe sex ad with a glitter-ejaculating penis. More »


Teen With Toilet Phobia Died After Holding It In For Two Months

By: Amelia McDonell-Parry / July 2, 2015

Not pee, you guys. POOP. More »


Charleston Shooter’s Sister Whines About Ruined Wedding, Asks For Money

By: Robyn Pennacchia / July 2, 2015

The gall of some people. More »


Evil Dolphin Assaults Woman, Punches Her Daughter In The Face

By: Robyn Pennacchia / July 2, 2015

Dolphins are messed up, yo. More »


Bill O’Reilly Furious Over Progressive Whippersnappers Controlling The Internet

By: Robyn Pennacchia / July 2, 2015

O’Reilly argues that “Traditional Americans” need to sieze control of the internet. More »


Bree Newsome On “Good Morning America”: “We Wanted An End To The Hate”

By: Amelia McDonell-Parry / July 2, 2015

Bad ass organizer — and real life flag-pole-climbing superhero — Bree Newsome was interviewed on “Good Morning America” this morning, one of the first times, that I know of, that a major morning “news” show has given airtime to interviewed an actual #BlackLivesMatter activist. Newsome, of course, is the Black woman who, with the hel… More »


Here’s A Hilarious Response To The “You’re Not Alone” Video To Make Your Morning Great

By: Rebecca Vipond Brink / July 2, 2015

If you saw that godawful, downright strange “You’re Not Alone” anti-same-sex marriage video yesterday and worried that it would not go unanswered, worry no more. Three YouTubers – soundlyawake, Ava Gordy, and Miles Jai – got together to point out all of the logical flaws in the Catholic Vote Bizarro-World Catholics-are-the-real-victims-here video by reframing it… More »


You Can Take Pride-Themed Selfies For A Good Cause

By: Rebecca Vipond Brink / July 1, 2015

Laverne Cox and other icons are donating a dollar for each selfie taken in front of a pride mural! More »


Josh Duggar Faces Lawsuit From Sex Abuse Victim

By: Robyn Pennacchia / July 1, 2015

All the church elders who helped cover this up will be named as well. … More »


Macy’s Dumps Donald Trump For Racist Remarks

By: Newser / July 1, 2015

Donald Trump’s terrible, horrible, no good, very bad couple of weeks just got worse: Macy’s is pulling all Trump-branded merch from its stores due to derogatory remarks the mogul made about Latinos during his June 16 presidential campaign kickoff, reports CNN. Per a Macy’s statement this morning: “We are disappointed and distressed by recent remark… More »


11 Ways Hillary Clinton’s Emails Prove She’s Basically Your Mom

By: Robyn Pennacchia / July 1, 2015

Where did you get that lovely carpet? More »


Jim Carrey Sure Has Some Opinions On Vaccines

By: Robyn Pennacchia / July 1, 2015

Please, listen to your doctor–not Ace Ventura, Pet Detective. More »


This Anti-Gay Marriage “It Gets Better” Style Video Is Effing Ridiculous

By: Robyn Pennacchia / July 1, 2015

My jaw is literally on the floor right now. … More »


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