Watch out Tom Cruise. The Australian government might try to declassify Scientology as a religion and reclassify it as a criminal organization. In a speech he gave to the Aussie Senate on Tuesday night, Senator Nick Xenophon claimed that the church was guilty of torture, forced imprisonment, and coerced abortion, embezzlement and blackmail. He unearthed letters from an ex-Scientologist, which detailed abuse and violence that happened within the religion, and said that horrors such as forced confinement, torture and abortion, were ordered. 

Being a police officer is hard, especially when you have to write speeding tickets. Sometimes the drivers won’t pull over; other times people just get really pissed, and occasionally ... a cat climbs on your head while you are responding to the call of duty. Even the FOX newscasters had trouble keeping straight faces when they aired this video of a cat who obvs thought this police officer was a tree. The dude kicked the little kitty away repeatedly, but it came right back, eventually making it up to the cop’s head. The ‘po should have just put the little critter in handcuffs. Duh.

Ceaseless listmaker Forbes Magazine has rolled out yet another roundup and this one is about Hollywood’s most overpaid stars. Forbes’ peeps looked at how much each flick made compared to the celeb’s salary. We weren’t surprised to see that only one of the top 10 overpaid stars was a woman—Drew Barrymore. Obvs! Women have a lot of problems in this world, but getting overpaid is not one of them. Will Ferrell came in at numero uno because his last movie made a measly $3.29 for every dollar he was paid. After the jump, the other uber-paid offenders.

I’m pretty fascinated by this article in Details about die-hard “Twilight” fans in their 30s and 40s who are visiting Forks, Washington, for a “Twilight” convention. I used to think these so-called “Twimoms” were absolutely nuts, but now I just sort of feel bad for them. The women admit that they are in loveless, boring marriages and that for them, “Twilight”—specifically Edward—is an escape from the drone of daily life. Most of them drool over this made-up character because they think he’s the closest to an expressive, passionate man they can get. But that doesn’t mean these women aren’t uber weird. After the jump, a few of their strangest habits ...

There’s this stereotype that if you are gay, the answer to all your problems is skipping off to a big city where you can live an open and free life in an accepting environment. The sentiment isn’t always worded this blatantly, but it’s out there. Usually, when people find out I’m a lesbian they say something like, “Oh, well, at least you live in New York City.”

There are a lot of things to do in Paris, but this Parisian tourism video doesn’t show us, well, anything. It starts off like a cell phone commercial, with a cheesy couple walking around with their cell phones in each other’s faces. Then it turns in to one, long make-out session. The annoying couple sucks face in restaurants, on tours, everywhere! Yeah, they are THAT couple. By the end, the video has fallen apart and looks like the beginning of a porno from the ‘80s. Luckily, the director spares us the dirty deets.

I can almost hear the spoof bandwagon, carrying the likes of Lindsay Lohan, Kate Gosselin and Hailey Glassman, pulling away while Jon Gosselin runs behind—wearing Ed Hardy, natch—yelling, “Hey! Wait for me, guys!” It seems he caught up because this video shows Jon having an epiphany and realizing he needs to change his ways. Then, to the tune of Cher’s “Turn Back Time,” he chucks out his hairspray, puts his tacky clothes in a box, dons a collared shirt and fires his hot bikini-wearing DJ. It’s a good start, but he still has a long way to go. I’d say the next step would be disappearing. Forever.

I am currently seeing this really great girl. She’s smart, sweet and really fun to be around. We agree on a lot of things. We both hate the death penalty, love pizza and enjoy hanging out—sometimes illegally—on rooftops overlooking New York City. There is one thing, however, that we just can’t see eye-to-eye on. It’s not, as you would think, what to do on Saturday or where to have dinner or which baseball team is the best. Surprisingly, the issue that we butt heads on the hardest is gay marriage.

Dear ABC,
Your decision to air Barbara Walters’ five-part interview with Sarah Palin on Nov. 17 is one of the worst decisions in the history of mankind. Seriously, isn’t showing segments of the interview on “Good Morning America,” ” World News with Charles Gibson,” “Nightline” and “20/20” overdoing it just a little? First, you are shamelessly helping Palin promote her book, Going Rogue: An American Life, by airing the interview the same day it hits bookstore shelves. Second, didn’t you get the memo that Oprah is interviewing her on the 16th? And uh, did you not notice that Sarah can barely formulate an articulate sentence—the result of her stretching her limited mental capacity over hours could be completely disastrous. After numerous embarrassing interviews with big shots like Katie Couric and Brain Williams, it’s clear that Palin is a masochist for coming back for more. Plus, she is neither relevant nor interesting—she isn’t even a governor anymore. She is famous for being a joke. So why give her the publicity!? You don’t know? That’s because there’s no reason! We suggest you reconsider. Please.
Sincerely,
Nikki
[EW]