It was Miley Cyrus’ 17th birthday on Wednesday, and she threw a rockin’ ‘80s themed party to celebrate. She came dressed as Julia Roberts’ character from “Pretty Woman,” which was obviously super tasteful and kept in line with her pole-dancing antics from the summer. And when the Broadway cast of “Rock of Ages” showed up for a surprise performance, Miley danced with cast member Constantine Maroulis. [NY Post]

While most of us gave up theme parties circa age 7, when Strawberry Shortcake herself didn’t show up to deliver our cake, celebrities still love to throw ‘em. In May, we brought you a whole slideshow of celeb’s themed birthday parties, but because there have been so many good ones since, we’re bringing you part deux.

Every time someone has something mean to say about Rachael Ray, I am all ears. I can’t stand her “delish"s or “yum-o"s and the only time I made it through a whole episode of her cooking show, she made a hamburger salad followed by a pizza salad and I wanted to claw my child-of-a-chef eyes out in terror. So, when my hero, Martha Stewart, said that Rachael’s approach to cooking was “not good enough for me,” I immediately Twitter agreed with her. Martha went on to say, “I mean, I really want to write a book that is unique and a lasting thing, something that will really fulfill a need in someone’s library. So, she’s different. She’s more of an entertainer, with her bubbly personality, than she is a teacher, like me.” [NY Daily News]

I agree, Martha. But it’s always can sound a little sour grapes when someone disses their younger rival. Here are some celebs who’ve critiqued their successors in not gentle ways.

It’s the weekend before Thanksgiving, so as you’re preparing for the feast and practicing your competitive-eating game face, don’t forget that you need breaks for good behavior. Plus, if you eat a giant tub of popcorn, you might manage to stretch your belly as if you were consuming popping peanuts, which will allow you to hold more food than the portions you were planning on holding in your cheeks like a hamster. This week, get some humanity with “The Blind Side,” learn that we’re all aliens to someone in “Planet 51,” get your teen wolf heartthrob quota met with “The Twilight Saga: New Moon,” and learn about Latin love with “Broken Embraces.”

All this craziness over Team Edward or Team Jacob is getting old real fast, so don’t come around here with your mugs and t-shirts. I don’t care which team you’re on. It’s just disrespectful to the other “New Moon” hotties! In this flick there is a plethora of vamps and wolves panting and wanting your blood, and, like I always say in bars, go for the cross-eyed one and you won’t get hurt. They might not have Jacob’s abs or Edward’s broodiness, but I’d still totally let them poke me with their stakes.

Carrie Underwood is enjoying her hunky hockey boyfriend Mike Fisher, but announced on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” that she has no intention of sharing a love nest. “No, call me old-fashioned. He’s there. I’m here. We’re both doing our thing and it’s good,” she said. “The next guy I move in with will be my hubby. Whoever that is. I’m not saying it’s going to be him.” [People]

I’m totally with Carrie on this one. I’m not going to bother cohabiting with a guy unless I’m positive that we’re getting married. It’s hard enough breaking up with roommates and moving out—I can’t even imagine dealing with the emotional entanglement that comes with love. Here are some other celebs who won’t give up their bachelor/ette pads, either.

It’s Wednesday, and is it just me, or has work been especially hard as we head towards the calorific holiday season? Just be glad that you won’t be critiqued by millions on your pecan pie-induced weight gain, and when you get too drunk at the office party, you won’t have to read about it on the cover of a magazine the next day. Celebrities aren’t so lucky. But their pain is our gain because their (possibly fictional) dramas are usually more interesting than anything we could make up on our own. And because we love you so much, we’ve read every tabloid that came out today and hand-picked the juiciest stories. Enjoy!

This girl wins the prize for Best Reaction of All Time. At first, you’re bummed that this girl on “The Today Show” could care less that she won a spot as a kid reporter, as she adopts a blank stare that goes on forevs. But then the tension starts to build ... and she starts breathing harder. Then all of a sudden it’s so much more than you expected, and omigod, the screeching. I dare you to not smile. You simply can’t do it. I want to put her in a room and tell her she’s won stuff all day and then bottle that air and sell it to sad people. [BuzzFeed]

The Simpson sisters have truly got each other’s backs. First Jessica dissed “Melrose Place” for ditching Ashlee. Now Ashlee’s telling all the folks who criticized Jessica’s weight which way is up. In the most recent issue of Women’s Health, she said, “My sister has an incredible body. I feel sorry for anyone who would judge her, because she’s one sexy lady.” [Examiner]

It’s really sweet that they stand by each other. I wish I had someone to do damage control on my weight gains for me. Thankfully, for these celebrities, their siblings are ready to throw punches on their behalf.

Just a few days ago, it was announced that water was found on the moon. Shortly after came the news that there will be a hotel in space by 2012. Which will obviously be super convenient, since the earth is slated to crumble that year. Xavier Claramunt, the founder/president of the Galactic Suite Space Resort, says, “Tourists come to the hotel with all the necessary items to stay, as if they were staying at the most extreme refuge on earth.” In his magical resort, wealthy patrons can spend about $1,496,499 a night to watch the sun rise 15 times a day, killing the romance of that once precious sight. They’ll be orbiting around the Earth every couple hours, which, if reality is anything like science fiction, will age them years and years. The price tag doesn’t include the rocket trip into space, or the airfare to the Caribbean where the airstrip will be built for these launches. Plus, the project will cost nearly $5 billion to build. Most critics say this won’t be a reality for at least another 15 years. And who knows how long it’ll be before a moon vacation is affordable for the Ramen and comic book crowd. Hopefully the suites will come equipped with hover boards, astronaut ice cream, and Tang made from moon water. But, most importantly, we’ll finally know what it’s like to do it sans gravity!  [Asylum]