Tag Archives: love advice

Obsessing Over Finding Love Won’t Make It Happen Faster

A lot of the letters I get for “Dear Wendy” are from people who worry they’ll never find love. “I’m 27 and still single!” they wail, or “I’m almost 30 and all my friends are married!” And while it’s certainly natural to desire love and companionship and to get a little antsy about finding it, the idea that time is running out or that one should be married or at least in a long-term committed relationship by a certain age is not only wrong, it’s potentially damaging. Yes, love is pretty wonderful. Yes, being with a committed partner can feel fantastic and safe and all those things in great movies and books. But it’s definitely not the only thing in life worth living for — hell, it doesn’t even guarantee happiness, so why not focus on things one can control and enjoy being single until Cupid points his little arrow your way? Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: How To Avoid Becoming That Annoying Coupled-Up Person

The two of you are inseparable. You’re every romantic comedy cliché come to life. He’s the cream in your coffee. The Jim to your Pam—not that you even remember who they are, because with all the lovemaking, you hardly have time to waste on sitcoms like “The Office.”

When you’re not busy rutting, you spend hours just staring at each other, marveling at your good fortune. Everything reminds you of him and you can’t stop talking about how fantastically happy you are. In fact, you’re so busy, you probably haven’t even noticed that, except for calls from your shmoopie, your phone has stopped ringing. (Unless it’s your mom calling to wonder if you’re finally going to squeeze out some grandchildren for her.)

But your friends? They seem to have disappeared. In the haze of your love drunkenness, you might believe this is because they’re jealous. But more likely it’s because you’ve become one of the “smug marrieds” from Bridget Jones’ Diary—a book I loathed, but she sure got that part right. And you’re not even married. Yet. Keep reading »

Ask The Astrosexologist: My Boyfriend Has No Interest In Getting To Know My Friends

I am a Virgo (9/4/87) who recently started dating a Scorpio (11/2/83) and despite how much I like him, I can’t understand a thing he says or does. I learned very early on that he had pegged me as having potential for a long-term relationship, which makes me pretty uncomfortable since he wants a career, and all I want right now is to make some money and go travel the world — but despite his desire for something significant, he has a really hard time wanting to get to know me.

I’ve met his family and his friends and heard all about his past, but he has stated several times that he doesn’t want to meet the people in my life. I think he’s uncomfortable that my best friend is male (6/10/85). I’m not sure how he can want to be with me, but not want to understand where I’m coming from or get to know the people in my life. I’m worried that things are going to get difficult, as my friends are so important to me. I really don’t know if he is going to let up, especially since Scorpios are so stubborn and he is getting me so involved in his life. Help! – Confused Virgo Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: Defining A Relationship’s Status

I met Tim in February of this year when he was visiting friends in New York (he lives in Massachusetts) and we hit it off right away. Almost immediately after he headed back home, we started communicating every other day and soon began taking turns visiting each other. We have lots of mutual friends, so it was very easy for us in the beginning. The kicker was he was just getting out of a 4 year live-in relationship (she ended things with him 2 months prior to our meeting), but since I really liked him, I thought “the worst thing that could happen is that I end up with a friend.” Fast forward 8 months: Things are all good — our families each know about us, I’ve met his sister, we’ve both met lots of each other’s friends.

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Could Sharon Spencer Save Hollywood A Lot Of Heartache?


There’s nothing more traumatizing then a big, dirty Hollywood breakup and the mudslinging that follows. Example: Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo. The sudden breakup, the canceled birthday party, the boat drama, the mental breakdown. But could all of this mess have been prevented by some good relationship advice? No, I’m not talking about a top-dollar A-list shrink. I’m talking about Canadian relationship expert Sharon Spencer. Sharon has made a charming (?) series of videos offering complimentary celebrity relationship counseling to Hollywood couples. Maybe Jessica and Tony would still be together today had they only listened to Sharon’s wise advice: “Tony be gentle and Jessica ride a cowboy.” After the jump, some more sage advice from Sharon Spencer and, sometimes, if you’re lucky, her husband Fred. Keep reading »

What Women Want From Men

When it comes to articles about what women want from men, we can always count on Men’s Health to completely steer its readers in the completely wrong direction (wrestling, anyone?). Thank God for Esquire though, a publication that actually gives its readers advice we can second. In an article posted online yesterday called “How To Feel Good To A Woman,” writer Lisa Taddeo gives 11 suggestions that’ll make a woman swoon (no, really), including keeping a bathroom stocked with thick, fluffy, freshly stacked towels, kissing her neck, kissing her neck again, kissing “for longer than you can handle” (we women want a lot of kissing) “even when you know that more is on the way. Openmouthed, and bench the tongue. Urgent but not desperate,” and pushing the hair, not pulling it. It’s a great list, for sure, but come on, only 11 suggestions? We women are far easier to please than that! After the jump, five more things women want from men. Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: Know Your Textiquette

Texting has become as ubiquitous as the cell phones that birthed them, but what is it doing to our love lives? Can you imagine what a different movie “Casablanca” would be if, instead of suavely growling, “Here’s looking at you, kid,” Rick instead texted Ilsa:

; – )

Same sentiment (sort of), yet all the romance, sexiness and possibility has been drained out of it. Keep reading »

15 Signs You’re Bad At Dating

I’m bad at commitment. Heck, I can barely spell it. However, I do know I’m good at dating. I’ve never said I love you, but last week I gave three guys my number. Don’t come to me looking for solutions to your relationship dilemma, but if you wanna know how to hook up on any given holiday, I’m your girl. So, if you’re single and you’re not sure you really know how to mingle, check out this tough love test to see if you’re better at sewing buttons than your seed. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: Anniversary Let-Down And Dropping The L Bomb

My boyfriend Curtis and I have been going out for six months now. Just last Tuesday we celebrated our six month anniversary. So I asked a friend what I should get him. This is my first real relationship ever lasting 6 months. She said get him a card, so I found one that pretty much described how I feel about him. But he didn’t get me a card or anything. We went out to dinner at a pizza restaurant, and when we were leaving he asked “Do you have tip money”? Am I going crazy? Cause this sounds wrong to me. So we get in the car to leave and he’s like “What’s wrong”? He doesn’t know!!! Could he be this dense, seriously? I said, “I took the time to find a card on how I feel about you, and you don’t get me anything.” You know what his reply was to that?! He said: “I said ‘Happy Anniversary’! He just “didn’t realize,” he says. I was so angry. I need to know If I was over-reacting or not. I just felt I needed a card at least. Please tell me what you think. – Cardless

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Dear Wendy: You Booze, You Lose?

Let’s start off with the fact that I love my boyfriend “Scott.” Scott and I have made it through a break up, months of monogamous dating, and we are an official couple again. However, I’m concerned that he may drink too much. Scott rarely has a night where he doesn’t smoke marijuana or drink. He occasionally does hard drugs (he only seems to do them when he goes on vacation with his exgirlfriend, but that is neither here nor there since that hasn’t been resolved). Whenever Scott drinks he either gets annoyed or overly affectionate- ie. he either is on edge or is trying to convince me to marry him. Wendy, what should I do to address this issue? I want to support him through thick and thin but at the same time I think part of support is urging him to stop destructive behavior. —Girlfriend of an Alcoholic Anonymous

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