Tag Archives: love advice

Dear Wendy: “How Can I Dump My Boyfriend Nicely?”

I have been in a long distance relationship for a year. While our relationship has been almost perfect on paper (he’s my best friend, we never fight, and we’re always on the same page), I’ve realized that he’s not the one for me. Since the beginning, I felt like something was missing. The spark just wasn’t there, but I kept trying because he loved me so much and I wasn’t yet sure what I wanted (he’s my first boyfriend and I’m only 18). Now, I know I have to break up with him, but I don’t know how to do so in a way that would hurt him the least and save our friendship. You see, he’s told me multiple times that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me, that I’m the most important person in his life, and that he would love nothing more than to marry me. Before he met me, he was depressed and suicidal at times. He says that he’s been happier than he’s ever been this past year. What do I do? Do I tell him the truth, that I just don’t love him enough? Or do I blame it on the circumstances, the long-distance, financial problems, parental control, etc? Do I drag it out slowly, or do I blindside him? More importantly, is he going to be okay? — The Dumper

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30-Day Breakup Guide: Day 21

To celebrate the publication of our first-ever book, The Frisky 30-Day Breakup Guide, we’re re-running the original series that inspired it, and having writer Maude Standish bravely road test the book’s expanded tasks and tips. So follow along, chart your own progress, and find out everything else you need to know to forget he-who-shall-not-be-named!

Give Blood
If there has ever been a chance for you to act both badass and selfless, this is it. If you’re healthy enough to give blood, be happy for that alone, and then go save a life. Eat and drink plenty afterward so you don’t pass out.
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Dear Wendy: “I Can’t Climax On My Meds”

I’m a 25-year-old single woman with diagnosed clinical depression. I received this diagnosis about five years ago and have been on the same medication off and on since. It has many side effects, but one of the most frustrating is that it kills my ability to orgasm. I still have a healthy libido and enjoy sex, but the big finish just doesn’t happen. Obviously that’s a medical issue, not a relationship issue, but my question is: how do I handle this when I’m with a new guy? For most of the last five years I was in a long relationship, so he knew about it when I did. But now I’m interested in someone new and don’t know what to do. Should I fake it? I don’t want to mislead anyone but I worry that if I disclose the situation he won’t be interested in me. Maybe he’ll think, “What’s the fun in getting off with someone who can’t get off at all?” Also, I don’t necessarily want to discuss my illness with someone I’m only seeing casually. FYI: I’ve considered switching meds, but I don’t want to change something that works very well for me, and the medication I’m on actually has the lowest instance of sexual side effects of any on the market; I’m just part of the very unlucky 0 percent of the population. — No O

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30-Day Breakup Guide: Day 20

To celebrate the publication of our first-ever book, The Frisky 30-Day Breakup Guide, we’re re-running the original series that inspired it, and having writer Maude Standish bravely road test the book’s expanded tasks and tips. So follow along, chart your own progress, and find out everything else you need to know to forget he-who-shall-not-be-named!

Have A No-Chick-Flick Night
The terms “Julia Roberts,” “meet cute,” and “wedding” are hereby banned from your home starting right…now. You might feel tempted to watch “Clueless” or a similar favorite for the billionth time (you have Paul Rudd’s declaration-of-love speech memorized), but you will not. You will rent movies in which the heroine is a strange, or strong, or talented, or an ass-kicker. Because, let’s face it: Kate Hudson’s recurring character is a bit of a milquetoast, and Hugh Grant’s is kind of a jerk. Here’s a list to get you started, after the jump…
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30-Day Breakup Guide: Day 19

To celebrate the publication of our first-ever book, The Frisky 30-Day Breakup Guide, we’re re-running the original series that inspired it, and having writer Maude Standish bravely road test the book’s expanded tasks and tips. So follow along, chart your own progress, and find out everything else you need to know to forget he-who-shall-not-be-named!

Call Your Dad
If your dad’s not around, contact a favorite uncle or a mentor you looked up to during college or your first job. E-mail is okay if you’d rather keep it casual. Just say hi or give him an update on how you’re doing. Keep reading »

Should You Treat Your Man Like You Do Your Dog?

I had no sooner finished dry-heaving over my friend’s tale of the ordeal involved in getting her dog’s anal glands expressed, when I stumbled upon yet another article—written by a psychologist named Dr. Suzanne Phillps, Psy.D—extolling the benefits of treating your partner as you do your pet. I understand that it’s hard to think about new ways to write about relationships, but can we quit equating beasts with boys? (Dogs are far more loyal!) Keep reading »

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