Reader Rommel sent us this from Park Slope, Brooklyn.
Zergnet: Simply Irresistible
I am a freshman in college and am loving it. I had no trouble making the transition and while I miss my family, I’ve found it relatively easy to settle into my new situation. Before moving in, I had to say goodbye to my best friend, which was the toughest thing I’ve ever had to do. For years we have shared everything. We agree on almost everything and love each other’s company. I really do not believe I will ever meet anyone who I could love and rely on as much as I do with her. The problem is that she doesn’t like her college. She’s been talking of transferring to my school and has been making repeated visits to see me. I love getting to see her, but like I said before, we shared everything. It almost got irritating (to me–I’ve never seen any indication that she felt this way). I would make a friend and then they would become her friend too. I would find something I had an interest in and she would adopt the hobby too. I was starting to feel like I wasn’t my own person. For the past few years I’ve actually enjoyed being her second half, but now that I’m in college I’ve been enjoying my independence. The bottom line is that I don’t want her here. More importantly though, I don’t want to hurt her feelings, especially since, like I said, I don’t ever anticipate caring about someone as much as I care about her. What should I do? Is there anything to be done? — Miss Independent
Sometimes your dude may need a pick-me-up rather than mere relationship maintenance. Here are six quick (non-sexual, because AM Delight is not always an option) things you can do for your dude if he’s feeling a little blue. Keep reading »
My birthday is Aug. 27, 1987 and my Libra boyfriend is Oct. 1, 1986. I just can’t understand my boyfriend’s actions right now. We met back in February and fell deeply in love. After about two months, he got scared and left me. I didn’t contact him at all while he did his disappearing act, but two months later, in August, he contacted me. He even had the nerve to get angry because he called me late at night and I didn’t answer because I was asleep. Still, he appeared to be a different man — I gave him the cold shoulder at first, but when he pleaded his case and proved he was truly different by voicing all of his feelings openly and honestly, I believed him and let him earn my trust back. Now here it is October, and I haven’t heard from him in almost a week. He’s doing his disappearing act again. He says he’s scared because he’s joined the Army and he’s very depressed — but that he does love me. I can’t help but feel like he’s trying to leave me again. This was so sudden. He was tender and loving one night, and then two days later he doesn’t want to talk to me. He leaves for the Army next month and I’ve only had two five-minute phone conversations with him for a month now. I can’t continue like this in a relationship. I don’t know what to do and I don’t know whether to think he’s leaving me or not. Please help! – Jeanne
I am 26 years old and have been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year. Our relationship started off with many issues — I had just ended a very serious relationship and he was getting over an unrequited love. We had a blast together the first few months because there was very little expectation of our relationship becoming more than just a summer fling. But our feelings for each other didn’t end so we gave it another shot. The first few months of trying again were pretty rough because of our insecurities, but now things are at a very good place. We have been living together for a few months and share everything together. We’ve said the big L word, and tell each other that every day. But my boyfriend seems a bit phobic about getting engaged and married, and I’m not sure if he’s just afraid of that commitment or if it’s with me. We have talked about having children together, but more jokingly than seriously. When I asked him if he plans on marrying me someday, his answer has always been “I want to,” but I’m not convinced. He tells me that he loves me, but not enough for that level of commitment yet. I don’t want to be in a relationship if I’m not “the one.” Is this a bad sign that our relationship will not get there? Am I overreacting and being too impatient? — Hurt and Confused
I recently broke up with my ex of four (on and off) years. Although I loved him like I never loved anyone before, we were having too many issues, we were always arguing and fighting (in public sometimes) and he could be verbally abusive at times. He’s only 24 which is four years younger than me so I would chalk it up to him being emotionally immature and the fact that we were fighting. He was the sweetest and most caring, loyal and unselfish guy I ever knew, but the constant emotional highs and lows just got to be too much. I was miserable and heartbroken, so as hard as it was, I had to let him go.
I have a friend who I have strong feelings for but I don’t know if he will ever have them for me. We have sex together, he’s spent the night here a couple of times and we hang out and flirt. Do you think I will ever get a chance with him? Right now he says he is worried he is not boyfriend material. – Used
I was a little bit unsettled when I read a recent Cary Tennis column on Salon called “I’m 32 already. Time to get married!” I realized that I could have written the question myself (well, I just want to meet someone great). A woman is torn between wanting to meet a life partner and wanting to follow every fun, salacious flirtation that comes her way – because, after all, isn’t that the best part of being single? Tending to choose the latter, she knows that it will not ultimately get her what she wants. Keep reading »
“I’m a Virgo (9/4/87) and my best friend is a Gemini (6/10/85). He’s perfect (or at least seems that way). We started hanging out last year, but we’ve been BFF ever since. I did like him a lot about six months ago and told him so, but unfortunately he had eyes for another woman at the time. We didn’t talk for a week, but then reconciled and we still talk nearly everyday for hours at a time. We’ve both dated people since then and our dating lives seems like the only topic we can’t discuss unless one of us is having a big problem and need help from the other sex. We’re both seeing other people right now, but I was talking to a mutual friend the other night who told me that my face lit up whenever he texted me or I even made mention of him. I feel like I’ve repressed my feelings for him because I don’t want to get hurt, but is there any chance he likes me too and not in the best friend way? I know I should ask him, but I don’t want to get my heart stomped on again.” – Hopelessly Perplexed