I have a friend who I have strong feelings for but I don’t know if he will ever have them for me. We have sex together, he’s spent the night here a couple of times and we hang out and flirt. Do you think I will ever get a chance with him? Right now he says he is worried he is not boyfriend material. – Used
Tag Archives: love advice
I was a little bit unsettled when I read a recent Cary Tennis column on Salon called “I’m 32 already. Time to get married!” I realized that I could have written the question myself (well, I just want to meet someone great). A woman is torn between wanting to meet a life partner and wanting to follow every fun, salacious flirtation that comes her way – because, after all, isn’t that the best part of being single? Tending to choose the latter, she knows that it will not ultimately get her what she wants. Keep reading »
“I’m a Virgo (9/4/87) and my best friend is a Gemini (6/10/85). He’s perfect (or at least seems that way). We started hanging out last year, but we’ve been BFF ever since. I did like him a lot about six months ago and told him so, but unfortunately he had eyes for another woman at the time. We didn’t talk for a week, but then reconciled and we still talk nearly everyday for hours at a time. We’ve both dated people since then and our dating lives seems like the only topic we can’t discuss unless one of us is having a big problem and need help from the other sex. We’re both seeing other people right now, but I was talking to a mutual friend the other night who told me that my face lit up whenever he texted me or I even made mention of him. I feel like I’ve repressed my feelings for him because I don’t want to get hurt, but is there any chance he likes me too and not in the best friend way? I know I should ask him, but I don’t want to get my heart stomped on again.” – Hopelessly Perplexed
I have, what seems to be, a huge dilemma. I am 22 years old, and have been with my fiancé for a little over two years. I met him when I was getting out of a relationship, and needed to feel wanted, so I had sex with him after about a month. The sex was awkward and uncomfortable, and once we started I really wished I hadn’t, and then two weeks later I found out I was pregnant. We decided to be boyfriend and girlfriend, and seven months later he proposed. The sex hasn’t gotten any better, and I’ve never had an orgasm with him (but I pretend), and I really want to have one, but now I’m just getting less and less interested in having sex because I know it’s just not going to happen. We barely have sex now, and he makes me feel really bad about it, which really turns me off even more than I was. I love him, but maybe we’re just not sexually compatible. What do I do? — Engaged and Confused
I’ve been writing relationship advice for nearly ten years now and the number-one question I get asked—by readers and friends alike—isn’t anything filthy or even fun. It is: “How come I can’t meet anyone?”
Depending on your situation, there are a variety of answers to this question, but mostly, finding someone to tongue wrestle with on a regular basis comes down to a combination of luck and timing. That said, there are things you can do to ensure that you never even come close to falling in love. Keep reading »
I am a 27 year-old chef who is not the stereotypical egotistical type. I have some of the greatest friends and a close-knit yet small family that I adore. So in that area, I am good to go. Yet it is my relationship status that is tarnishing my view on life and, I hate to say it, on the opposite sex. I feel that I MUST be doing something wrong if my relationship status is still single.
A lot of the letters I get for “Dear Wendy” are from people who worry they’ll never find love. “I’m 27 and still single!” they wail, or “I’m almost 30 and all my friends are married!” And while it’s certainly natural to desire love and companionship and to get a little antsy about finding it, the idea that time is running out or that one should be married or at least in a long-term committed relationship by a certain age is not only wrong, it’s potentially damaging. Yes, love is pretty wonderful. Yes, being with a committed partner can feel fantastic and safe and all those things in great movies and books. But it’s definitely not the only thing in life worth living for — hell, it doesn’t even guarantee happiness, so why not focus on things one can control and enjoy being single until Cupid points his little arrow your way? Keep reading »
The two of you are inseparable. You’re every romantic comedy cliché come to life. He’s the cream in your coffee. The Jim to your Pam—not that you even remember who they are, because with all the lovemaking, you hardly have time to waste on sitcoms like “The Office.”
When you’re not busy rutting, you spend hours just staring at each other, marveling at your good fortune. Everything reminds you of him and you can’t stop talking about how fantastically happy you are. In fact, you’re so busy, you probably haven’t even noticed that, except for calls from your shmoopie, your phone has stopped ringing. (Unless it’s your mom calling to wonder if you’re finally going to squeeze out some grandchildren for her.)
But your friends? They seem to have disappeared. In the haze of your love drunkenness, you might believe this is because they’re jealous. But more likely it’s because you’ve become one of the “smug marrieds” from Bridget Jones’ Diary—a book I loathed, but she sure got that part right. And you’re not even married. Yet. Keep reading »
I am a Virgo (9/4/87) who recently started dating a Scorpio (11/2/83) and despite how much I like him, I can’t understand a thing he says or does. I learned very early on that he had pegged me as having potential for a long-term relationship, which makes me pretty uncomfortable since he wants a career, and all I want right now is to make some money and go travel the world — but despite his desire for something significant, he has a really hard time wanting to get to know me.
I’ve met his family and his friends and heard all about his past, but he has stated several times that he doesn’t want to meet the people in my life. I think he’s uncomfortable that my best friend is male (6/10/85). I’m not sure how he can want to be with me, but not want to understand where I’m coming from or get to know the people in my life. I’m worried that things are going to get difficult, as my friends are so important to me. I really don’t know if he is going to let up, especially since Scorpios are so stubborn and he is getting me so involved in his life. Help! – Confused Virgo Keep reading »
I met Tim in February of this year when he was visiting friends in New York (he lives in Massachusetts) and we hit it off right away. Almost immediately after he headed back home, we started communicating every other day and soon began taking turns visiting each other. We have lots of mutual friends, so it was very easy for us in the beginning. The kicker was he was just getting out of a 4 year live-in relationship (she ended things with him 2 months prior to our meeting), but since I really liked him, I thought “the worst thing that could happen is that I end up with a friend.” Fast forward 8 months: Things are all good — our families each know about us, I’ve met his sister, we’ve both met lots of each other’s friends.