Reader Jillian snapped this photo in Jerusalem last week and said, “There may not be peace in Jerusalem, but at least there’s love.”
Zergnet: Simply Irresistible
Wendy is off today, so I’m reposting an oldie but a goodie from her Dear Wendy column. She’ll be back at it tomorrow!
I have been dating my boyfriend for about three months. We get along great and he would do anything for me. We just have one problem. He doesn’t believe in evolution and I very passionately do. We got in a discussion about it which quickly turned into a huge fight. Although my current career has taken me down a different path, I have my masters degree in biology concentrated in ecology and evolution so I know a little something about it and pretty much dedicated my entire education to learning about it. He is an engineer and very smart, but I just found out that he used to be really religious, hence his disbelief in evolution. I tried to answer his many misconceptions about evolution as best I could without being prepared for such a heavy debate, but he persisted in refusing to listen to the evidence I presented and even compared me to a religious zealot who has been brainwashed by my schooling. I know that when I feel passionately about something I can get quite worked up and come across as condescending. I understand that a lot of couples have different beliefs and make it work so I know that we can too. However, I don’t want us to have restrictions on what we can or can’t discuss in a rational manner. So I guess what I am asking is how do I broach this topic in a manner that doesn’t turn into a huge argument? Should I just accept that we may never agree on the topic and try to get over it? — The “Mad” Scientist
When I discovered one long-term, live-in ex had been cheating on me—long after we’d split—I was shocked. I’d had my suspicions, but he’d always been so judgmental about philandering friends and sanctimonious about his own fidelity, I figured I was just the jealous crazy lady he kept accusing me of being. So when he broke up with me, I had no clue as to why and desperately tried to talk him into loving me again. (It was every bit as humiliating as that sentence would lead you to believe.)
I have yet to experience the pain-free breakup, but I wondered if knowing the truth about this situation would’ve helped me heal faster. I mean, I’ve been less than up-front with certain guys I’ve broken up with. So when isn’t honesty the best policy? Keep reading »
Programming note: I left town early for the long weekend and set some posts to run yesterday and today, but I mixed things up a bit and accidentally ran “Shortcuts” yesterday. Sorry for the confusion!
I’ve been with my boyfriend nine months and he is by far the most caring, loving and fun partner I’ve ever been with. I’ve been his first everything though: first kiss, first girlfriend, first … you get the clue. Initially, I was a little weary about dating someone with such little experience, but I’m so glad I looked beyond those first impressions. There is one issue, however, that has left me feeling frustrated and a little helpless. My boyfriend’s a pecker. That is, he only kisses me with pecks: when he greets me, when we’re “making out,” when we’re having sex … you get the idea. Our first kisses weren’t like this — this was something that our kissing slowly evolved into. I’ve made it clear I don’t like the “pecks” all the time, and I’ve tried sexily coaxing him into more naughty kisses, saying “I like this” and kissing him with a little bit more lip or tongue, but the pecking seems to only be getting worse. He gets into habits kind of easily, and I am scared this is something that is here to stay. It’s really such a shame since he CAN kiss excellently! I’ve emphasized this too. I constantly reassure him he is an excellent kisser when he does do it well. But, I don’t know what has happened to these sensual, passionate kisses. I’m losing patience. — Chicken-Kisser
It’s time again for “Shortcuts,” wherein I answer readers’ letters in two sentences or less. Sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. Today we discuss differing libidos in a May-December romance, intruding exes, and waiting for the “L” word. Keep reading »