When I discovered one long-term, live-in ex had been cheating on me—long after we’d split—I was shocked. I’d had my suspicions, but he’d always been so judgmental about philandering friends and sanctimonious about his own fidelity, I figured I was just the jealous crazy lady he kept accusing me of being. So when he broke up with me, I had no clue as to why and desperately tried to talk him into loving me again. (It was every bit as humiliating as that sentence would lead you to believe.)
I have yet to experience the pain-free breakup, but I wondered if knowing the truth about this situation would’ve helped me heal faster. I mean, I’ve been less than up-front with certain guys I’ve broken up with. So when isn’t honesty the best policy? Keep reading »
Programming note: I left town early for the long weekend and set some posts to run yesterday and today, but I mixed things up a bit and accidentally ran “Shortcuts” yesterday. Sorry for the confusion!
I’ve been with my boyfriend nine months and he is by far the most caring, loving and fun partner I’ve ever been with. I’ve been his first everything though: first kiss, first girlfriend, first … you get the clue. Initially, I was a little weary about dating someone with such little experience, but I’m so glad I looked beyond those first impressions. There is one issue, however, that has left me feeling frustrated and a little helpless. My boyfriend’s a pecker. That is, he only kisses me with pecks: when he greets me, when we’re “making out,” when we’re having sex … you get the idea. Our first kisses weren’t like this — this was something that our kissing slowly evolved into. I’ve made it clear I don’t like the “pecks” all the time, and I’ve tried sexily coaxing him into more naughty kisses, saying “I like this” and kissing him with a little bit more lip or tongue, but the pecking seems to only be getting worse. He gets into habits kind of easily, and I am scared this is something that is here to stay. It’s really such a shame since he CAN kiss excellently! I’ve emphasized this too. I constantly reassure him he is an excellent kisser when he does do it well. But, I don’t know what has happened to these sensual, passionate kisses. I’m losing patience. — Chicken-Kisser
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It’s time again for “Shortcuts,” wherein I answer readers’ letters in two sentences or less. Sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. Today we discuss differing libidos in a May-December romance, intruding exes, and waiting for the “L” word. Keep reading »
Carrie Bradshaw is not only a Manhattan and fashion icon, but as a dating columnist, she’s considered a dating icon as well. Why? She’s selfish, immature, manipulative, impulsive, and, let’s face it, kind of psycho. She gives women, even kooky women, a bad name. Ladies, feel free to emulate Carrie’s style and visit her favorite NYC haunts, but when it comes to dating, it’s best to do anything but what she does. Carrie makes several common mistakes throughout the “Sex and the City” series and by watching her missteps, women can learn a lot about what to do and, more importantly, what not to do, at all stages of a relationship. Keep reading »
Once upon a time I met a guy at a bar I totally clicked with. He was sexy, smart, ambitious, well-dressed, and single. In fact, we were both just a few months out of relationships and looking to date around. The big difference between us, though, was that he had remained close with his ex, and I, while having broken up with mine amicably, didn’t feel the need to keep him in my life past the occasional email or phone call. Now, this guy we’ll call Matt tried to explain to me it wasn’t a big deal that he was friends with his ex, and for a while I believed him. They were both finishing up med school at the same place, after all, and had some classes together and a lot of mutual friends. But as time went on and he and I became exclusive, it became more and more obvious to me that we weren’t actually the only two people in our relationship. His ex, however “harmless” he said she was, seemed to always be lingering right on the edge of, if not actually wedged right between, us. Keep reading »