Tag Archives: love advice

Dear Wendy: “My Boyfriend Says He’s Not In Love”

It’s time again for “Shortcuts,” wherein I answer readers’ letters in two sentences or less. Sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. Today we discuss loser boyfriends, lying about one’s age, and creepy old-man dance teachers. Keep reading »

How To Be A Good Ex

Not to put too grim a spin on it, but it’s a fact that most relationships eventually end, and most of us have been on both sides of the breakup equation. Here’s a brief guide to handling being either end—the dumper or the dumpee. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “My Boyfriend Won’t Let Me Sleep Over”

I’ve been seeing this really great guy for about a month. We’ve ended a few evenings at my place and fooled around until the wee hours of the morning, yet he has refused to sleep over even though I’ve explicitly invited him. He said he had a hard time sleeping next to someone because he’s a fussy sleeper, is used to his own bed, needs to listen to the radio, et cetera, so it would just be easier if he went home. But then last weekend, when we were in the same situation, only at his place, he made me take the bus home at 3 a.m. rather than let me sleep over (he did walk me to the bus stop). He said it had to do with his trust issues and that he found it very difficult to feel comfortable sleeping next to someone. I was upset and we talked about the issue a few days later, and he said that he had had bad experiences before (having a panic attack while a girlfriend stayed over once) and had fully intended to let me sleep over, but then got scared at the last minute and refused. We also agreed to give the sleepover a try next time. My question is, what do I do if he can’t handle sleeping next to me? Is it unreasonable for me to expect to be able to stay over at the end of the night? How do I put him at ease? And if I can’t, should this be a dealbreaker? — Losing Sleep

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Girl Talk: Waiting For An “A-Ha Moment” In Love

The other day I got a letter from a reader who wanted to know how I knew my now-husband, Drew, was “the one,” whether I’d had an a-ha moment or something like that. She wanted to know how I knew he was “worth” picking up my life and moving to NYC for and whether I’d had some fear or hesitancy about moving. It was an interesting question to think about because on one hand, I actually don’t really believe in “a-ha” moments when it comes to relationships. I’m not even sure I necessarily believe in “the one.” I think there are potentially lots of ones, and it’s really all a matter of finding the right person at the right time. And though I obviously feel like I did find the right person at the right time, I didn’t always feel that way. And, in fact, there was an a-ha moment when things suddenly came into focus; I realized just how special what I had with Drew was and that our relationship was worth my picking up my life and moving, as scary as that was — and oh, it was scary!
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Dear Wendy: “My Boyfriend’s Ex-Wife Is Teaching Their Kids To Be Racist”

My ex-fiance and I recently reunited after being apart for nearly 10 years. We were high school sweethearts for several years but I wasn’t ready to marry him at the time so we went our separate ways and he eventually married and had two beautiful children. Unfortunately, his marriage didn’t work out, but three years after his divorce, he and I bumped into one another and decided to give our relationship a second chance and recapture what we once had. So far everything has been a fairytale, but we do have one issue: his ex-wife! She is trying to teach her children to be racist towards me because I’m Cape Verdean. Fortunately, the kids love being around me and have no issues with my race at all but they’re forced to go home and deny liking me to make their mom happy. They have also told their father that mommy doesn’t want them sitting on my lap or playing with me. So, what do I do and what does my boyfriend do to try to handle this situation? Should I be absent in their lives in terms of baseball games, school plays, drop-offs, etc., even though she takes her fiancé everywhere? He and I are discussing marriage in the near future but I’m afraid I’d be signing myself and my future children up for 13 years of torture. What should I do? — Colorblind

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5 Easy Tips For Giving A Sexy Striptease

Burlesque superstar Jo Boobs has been wowing audiences and teaching eager exhibitionists, like myself and Margaret Cho, with her amazing va-va-voom skills. The School of Burlesque’s Headmistress Jo has taught me all my naughtiest moves, and took me from clumsy nerd to confident lap dancer. Yes, she’s that good, people! While classes and shows have been for the lucky few who live in the New York City area, now, coming to a bookstore near you, is a new manual that’ll have you bumpin’ and grindin’ with the best of them. This week, Ms. Boobs’ opus, The Burlesque Handbook, hits shelves. It’s everything you need to know to take your partner to striptease heaven. After the jump, Jo gives Frisky readers a taste of her tips, from what to put on and how to take it off! Keep reading »

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