It’s undeniable that marriage and relationships in general look nothing like they did 40 years ago. What’s happened? Women’s lib, skyrocketing divorce rates, the death of the nuclear family — and that’s just for starters. The whole game has changed. Sometimes I think that each generation exhibits a reactionary trend to their predecessors. I am part of the “divorced parents” era. Although my parents are still married, about 60 percent of all people I meet my age come from broken homes. While this phenomenon didn’t necessarily make us “anti-marriage,” it has certainly made us “marriage cautious” or “marriage disillusioned.” As a modern woman I know the statistics – if I ever do tie the knot, I know it ain’t gonna be all sunshine and roses. And that’s why I plan to be as sure as I can possibly, possibly be. Before I exchange any vows, I’ve made a vow to myself: I MUST live with someone before I marry him. I’m not alone in this thinking. About 70 percent of couples are cohabitating before marriage these days. Keep reading »
Tag Archives: love advice
So, that’s it. You’ve decided to move in together. You’re excited, in love, and ready to go for it. People are warning you that it’s a big deal, but you are different and so is your relationship. Is it such a big deal, though? Yes. After all, it’s like marriage without the standup mixer and the tax break. Keep reading »
Few things are more entertaining than bad date stories. Who wants to hear about hearts and flowers when flatulence and festering sores are so much more fun? Which is why when my friend Sal wanted to share what she assured me were horror stories about her recent attempts at online dating, I was ecstatic – joke material!
As I slid onto the bar stool next to her, I noticed she looked a little down. I immediately felt guilty about my initial excitement. Hmm. “What happened?” I asked.
“Nothing really,” she shrugged. It seems she’d met up with two different men and both were just meh. “I had nothing in common with either,” she complained.
“And?” I inquired.
She shot me a look. “And what?” she answered. “They were both really boring.”
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Here’s proof that you can never read a guy, or never know what he’s really thinking. Last week, I participated in The New York Post‘s “Meet Market,” a weekly feature that sets up couples, and then reports on their dates. Aside from a horrible photo of me in a high-circulation newspaper (really…are my cheeks really that big and shiny?), the experience was enjoyable because I got a free meal, and for the first time ever, I also saw the honest report of the man’s side of the date. And let me tell you, it wasn’t at all what I expected. For starters, the moment I saw the photo, I knew my perception was off. During our date, a photographer came and had us act out different scenarios, for example, where we’re both happy and the date went great, or if I gave the evening a bad report, I would look bored and he would look amused, etc, etc. I was fairly sure that I would open my paper to see a picture of us both smiling. Wrong. There I am, beaming like a fool and my date, Travis, looking horrified. Oh no, I thought. He’s said something awful about me, I imagined, before I could even begin reading the article. Keep reading »
My great Aunt Agatha prided herself on being married for 75 years and she had a diamond ring on each finger – gifts to her for allowing Guiseppe, her husband, his afternoon “exercise.”
We often asked her why she had so many diamonds and she would say, “Some day, you will understand.” And what we came to understand is that her husband had mistresses, or as we came to hear her whisper, “comare.” Continue reading… Keep reading »
How many times have you been out with a foxy new someone only to have him do or say something that made your stomach lurch—and not in an I-wanna-make-babies-with-him-now way. Maybe he was nasty to your waiter. Perhaps it was more subtle—he snickered when you tripped or didn’t introduce you to the attractive “friend” you ran into. Then again, maybe there was nothing you could articulate, but he just felt off. How many times have you ignored that feeling?
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I just celebrated my first birthday as a married woman. But instead of enjoying a romantic dinner with my husband, I was at sea with a long-lost crush who re-entered my life last year. My husband knows about him, and gave me his blessing to go with him on the three-day cruise to the Bahamas. He actually met the guy once, at a club on Canal Street six years ago. He’s been supportive of this reunion, even when I came home giddy from a night out with him, or when I flew to Portland, Maine, in March for a spring rendezvous.
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After thinking a lot about that crazy singles map of the US and how all the ladies on the East Coast are screwed, I got back to my navel gazing about what it means to be single. (I have plenty time alone to think about these things.) I moved on from my bubble of self-absorption (played out) and started wondering what it must be like to be single in other countries—not that I’m thinking of fleeing or anything. Is it better in France where fidelity is not a cultural moray? Is it worse in India with the caste system and arranged marriages? And what are those cold singles in Iceland doing to stay warm? Well wonder no more, because Liz Tuccillo (Mrs. “She’s Not That Into You” and former “Sex and the City” writer) is travlling the globe to demystify singlehood in an awesome web series called, “How to be Single.” Um…amazing! After the jump, a few of my fave revelations from single sisters around the world. [Your Tango] Keep reading »
The discussion of the trials and tribulations of long distance relationships is not a new one. Some swear a couple can survive the distance while others refuse to entertain the possibility that two people can stay connected when there is significant mileage between them. I used to be a bit of a compulsive long distance dater. My first two serious relationships were with British boys, which would soon later develop into a habit of only getting involved with foreign guys. Until recently I never questioned if getting involved in a relationship which is destined to be mostly long distance was a good idea. In my mind, if I was in love it would be sheer madness not to stay together. If true love can overcome death in “The Princess Bride” than of course it can overcome a minor issue such as distance. A few years and broken hearts later, I am not so sure. Keep reading »