Tag Archives: love advice

30-Day Breakup Guide: Day 11

To celebrate the publication of our first-ever book, The Frisky 30-Day Breakup Guide, we’re re-running the original series that inspired it, and having writer Maude Standish bravely road test the book’s expanded tasks and tips. So follow along, chart your own progress, and find out everything else you need to know to forget he-who-shall-not-be-named!

Start a “Go to Hell” Fund
A “go to hell” fund (as often referenced in the personal finance blogosphere) is a nice nest egg of quick cash that’s at your disposal in case you want to, for example, quit a job you hate, get out of a terrible roommate situation, or relocate due to a relationship gone bad (ahem). It’s also known as a “freedom fund” — freedom to leave a situation if you need to or escape anyone who’s screwing you over. Having four to six months’ worth of living expenses at your disposal is ideal. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “My Ex-Fiancé Won’t Help Pay Off Our Engagement Debt”

Three years ago I was engaged, but after much reflection, realized I wasn’t ready for marriage and called off the wedding. My ex-fiance, though surprised and hurt, was nevertheless understanding about the situation. I returned the ring and informed the reception venue that we would no longer be needing their services. The venue did not return the $2,000 deposit I had put down on my credit card and three years later, I still am nowhere near close to paying it off. I recently became a full-time graduate student and am having difficulty paying my minimum balance each month. Here’s my question: is my ex obligated to help me pay off this debt, or should I consider the debt as all mine now, since I was the one who ended the engagement? He has acknowledged multiple times since the breakup that part of the debt is his and promises to pay me back “when he has the money,” but in the last four months, he’s only sent one $25 check. We’re trying to remain friends, but when I think about the way he’s handling this situation I become furious. Should I push him to send money regularly? Should I talk to him about this (again) and try to salvage a friendship? Or should I just consider myself lucky that I didn’t merge my finances with this person and move on? — Runaway Bride

Keep reading »

Dear Wendy Updates: “You’re A Know-It-All”

Yesterday, I posted an open call for emails from people I’ve given (published) advice to here in the past to let me know whether they followed my advice and/or the advice from commenters, and how they’re doing today. I expected I might hear from people who didn’t like what I had to say, as well as from those who did. I’ve gotten a lot of grief for some of the advice I’ve given, and occasionally — not very often, but sometimes — I’ll have second thoughts about something I’ve said … or the way I’ve said it. Never has this been more the case than with the person you’ll hear from after the jump. She hated my “advice,” and rightfully so. We had some back-and-forth email exchanges afterward in which I said some more things I now regret. I ended up apologizing, but judging from the email she sent yesterday, she’s still pissed. Anyway, it was a learning lesson for me and for that I thank her. I’ve tried to be less presumptuous while still telling it like I see it and doling out “tough love” when it seems necessary, but sometimes I make mistakes. I’m human; it happens. After the jump, check out one of my biggest missteps. Keep reading »

30-Day Breakup Guide: Day 10

To celebrate the publication of our first-ever book, The Frisky 30-Day Breakup Guide, we’re re-running the original series that inspired it, and having writer Maude Standish bravely road test the book’s expanded tasks and tips. So follow along, chart your own progress, and find out everything else you need to know to forget he-who-shall-not-be-named!

Change Your Perspective
Find a museum in your city or town, and check to see if they have any current exhibits featuring female artists. If so, hop in your car and go — no matter how badly you want to continue watching “America’s Next Top Model” reruns and eating the rest of that bag of Bugles. Women’s perceptions of the world are distinctly different from the mainstream. Photographers Catherine Opie and Cindy Sherman have challenged the idea of traditional domesticity … Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “My Crush Likes Me Now That I’m Thin. Should I Give Him A Chance?”

When I was in college, I was good friends with this guy Zach and this girl Lucy, whom I met in the guitar club our freshmen year. I soon grew to have a huge crush on Zach, but after months of obsessing and fantasizing about our life together, I learned that Zack and Lucy had a thing for each other, leaving me out in the cold. Now, in college, Lucy was very athletic and had an awesome body and was extremely nice, while I was chubby and overweight and just as nice. We’re now out of college and I’ve lost a ton of weight and, not gonna lie, I look really good. The thing between Zack and Lucy broke off and we’re all still good friends and have started hanging out with each other again. Out of the blue, Zach has started hitting on me and giving me the kind of romantic attention I longed for in the beginning. But, I have a sneaking suspicion that it’s mostly because of my weight loss. I’m still the same person, just in a smaller size. So, now I don’t know whether or not I should give him a chance … he broke my heart long ago, and didn’t seem interested in me when I was heavier, but part of me still absolutely adores him. — Downsized

Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: Have I Given You Advice In The Past?

In yesterday’s Dear Wendy column, reader ACooper commented: “I think it would be a great series if once in a while we get some feedback from the letter writers after some time has past. It would be nice to hear if people took your advice, if they are still stuck, if they are happy, etc.” I think it’s a great idea and am opening a call for anyone who has written to me in the past and had his or her letter published in the column to email me (dearwendy@thefrisky.com) with some feedback and an update. Did you hate my advice? Did you love it? Did you follow it? And because this is often a community effort, I’d also love to hear how commenters affected any decision you made in regards to the issue you wrote in about. If you could, please send a link to the column in which your letter appeared and a brief update on how you’re doing now and whether the advice you received here helped you. I’ll share your feedback with our readers, and as always, you’ll be kept anonymous. Email me at: {encode=”dearwendy@thefrisky.com” title=”dearwendy@thefrisky.com”}. Thanks! Keep reading »

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