Tag Archives: love advice

Are You In Lust Or Love?

Sometimes I’m thinking that I love you/But I know it’s only lust. —Gang of Four

Think about it—they’re both four-letter words, both start with the letter “L,” and both can cause us to completely lose our freakin’ minds … it’s no wonder we get lust confused with love. But despite their similarities, love and lust are two very different animals. True, lust can evolve into love, and if you love someone, you (hopefully) lust after them, but it’s also very easy to fall deeply in lust with someone whom you’re never going to fall in love with. Here’s a handy guide for discerning the difference … Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “Is It Cheating If It Was During A Break?”

It’s time again for “Shortcuts,” wherein I answer readers’ letters in two sentences or less. Sometimes the answer to a person’s question is so obvious and the need to hear it so great, being as clear and frank as possible is simply the best way to go. Today we discuss “cheating” during a break, sexting, and society’s marriage expectation. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy Updates: “Worked Up” And “Twice In Love” Respond

Thanks to reader ACooper’s suggestion, we now have a new feature called “Dear Wendy Updates,” in which people I’ve given advice to in the past let us know whether they followed the advice and how they’re doing today. After the jump, we hear from “Worked Up,” a young woman who had trouble dealing with a rude co-worker, and “Twice in Love,” who wondered whether she could be in love with two men — one of whom she’s married to — and make it work with both… Keep reading »

30-Day Breakup Guide: Day 11

To celebrate the publication of our first-ever book, The Frisky 30-Day Breakup Guide, we’re re-running the original series that inspired it, and having writer Maude Standish bravely road test the book’s expanded tasks and tips. So follow along, chart your own progress, and find out everything else you need to know to forget he-who-shall-not-be-named!

Start a “Go to Hell” Fund
A “go to hell” fund (as often referenced in the personal finance blogosphere) is a nice nest egg of quick cash that’s at your disposal in case you want to, for example, quit a job you hate, get out of a terrible roommate situation, or relocate due to a relationship gone bad (ahem). It’s also known as a “freedom fund” — freedom to leave a situation if you need to or escape anyone who’s screwing you over. Having four to six months’ worth of living expenses at your disposal is ideal. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “My Ex-Fiancé Won’t Help Pay Off Our Engagement Debt”

Three years ago I was engaged, but after much reflection, realized I wasn’t ready for marriage and called off the wedding. My ex-fiance, though surprised and hurt, was nevertheless understanding about the situation. I returned the ring and informed the reception venue that we would no longer be needing their services. The venue did not return the $2,000 deposit I had put down on my credit card and three years later, I still am nowhere near close to paying it off. I recently became a full-time graduate student and am having difficulty paying my minimum balance each month. Here’s my question: is my ex obligated to help me pay off this debt, or should I consider the debt as all mine now, since I was the one who ended the engagement? He has acknowledged multiple times since the breakup that part of the debt is his and promises to pay me back “when he has the money,” but in the last four months, he’s only sent one $25 check. We’re trying to remain friends, but when I think about the way he’s handling this situation I become furious. Should I push him to send money regularly? Should I talk to him about this (again) and try to salvage a friendship? Or should I just consider myself lucky that I didn’t merge my finances with this person and move on? — Runaway Bride

Keep reading »

Dear Wendy Updates: “You’re A Know-It-All”

Yesterday, I posted an open call for emails from people I’ve given (published) advice to here in the past to let me know whether they followed my advice and/or the advice from commenters, and how they’re doing today. I expected I might hear from people who didn’t like what I had to say, as well as from those who did. I’ve gotten a lot of grief for some of the advice I’ve given, and occasionally — not very often, but sometimes — I’ll have second thoughts about something I’ve said … or the way I’ve said it. Never has this been more the case than with the person you’ll hear from after the jump. She hated my “advice,” and rightfully so. We had some back-and-forth email exchanges afterward in which I said some more things I now regret. I ended up apologizing, but judging from the email she sent yesterday, she’s still pissed. Anyway, it was a learning lesson for me and for that I thank her. I’ve tried to be less presumptuous while still telling it like I see it and doling out “tough love” when it seems necessary, but sometimes I make mistakes. I’m human; it happens. After the jump, check out one of my biggest missteps. Keep reading »

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