You’re off on a romantic ski weekend. You’ve never skied, or you’re not very good, but your chivalrous man-toy has promised to teach you. You’ve zipped your butt into a brand new pair of powder-blue skin-tight pants, your eyeliner is perfect and you’ve bought the perfect pair of goggles to wear on your helmet: this is going to be baller. Keep reading »
I’m 28, and have never have a boyfriend, and I do not find attraction in other people. I won’t say that I *can’t* find attraction in people, because there have been a handful of guys that I’ve fallen head-over-heels for, but of course, those endeavors have never amounted to anything. I get crushes maybe once every three years. Even though I date regularly, it is very rare for me to have “butterflies.” I don’t think of myself has having a wall up, or being too picky, or being “unworthy of love” or any of that. It doesn’t matter how “perfect” the guy is; we’ll date, and we’ll get along great, and I’ll like hanging out with him, but when he goes in for a kiss, I just can’t bring myself to kiss him because I just *don’t want to.* I see all of my friends having relationship after relationship, and finding genuine attraction in the people they date all the time, and here I am unable to feel the slightest attraction toward anyone. Is this weird, or am I just overthinking it? And yes, I’ve explored the possibility that I might be gay, in case that matters. No luck there, either.
It’s hard to give you my opinion because there’s so much I don’t know about you. Do you live in a city, where you see lots of new people all the time? Or do you live in the suburbs where you never meet anyone new? Have you lived in the same place for a long time? Or do you constantly travel? Keep reading »
I’m 31 years old and I’ve never been in relationship, nor have I ever been in love. I look at couples — married, cohabiting, dating — and I’m so envious of their ability to open up and create something with another person. Sometimes I feel like I’m too broken to even be considered by the universe to find love. I’ve never suffered any emotional or mental trauma that would provoke these thoughts, but I wonder if it’s self-preservation. I feel as though I’ve put myself out there, but each time I’m unsuccessful. Any advice for someone feeling a little hopeless?
The bad news: your attitude need an adjustment. The good news: adjusting your attitude is free! Instead of telling yourself that you’re a failure, correct that narrative in your head and say that you just haven’t found the right person yet, which is totally okay and super normal. Keep reading »
Make It Stop is a new weekly column in which Anna Goldfarb — the blogger behind Shmitten Kitten and Shlooby Kitten — tells you what’s up. Want a fresh take on a stinky dilemma? Email email@example.com with the subject “Make It Stop.” She’ll make it all better, or at least make you laugh. Girl Scout’s honor.
This week, we’ve got a competitive, copycatting best friend and a overly chatty coworker to contend with… Keep reading »
Consider the open relationship. Maybe you’ve always felt constrained by a traditional relationship, and known that you could happily be with more than one person. Maybe your partner brings it up to you one night over tacos and margaritas, and you’re game. Or, maybe this is just something that you’ve wanted to try, to see if it’s something you could really succeed at. Most people go into open relationships not because they want to bone every person out there that catches their eye, but because the concept of monogamy is one that for many, feels decidedly foreign. It is kind of strange to think that we’re expected to stay with just the one person for a sustained period of time, and an open relationship can help expand boundaries. If you’re considering an open relationship, keep in mind that, if done correctly, they can be a blast. If handled poorly, like most things in life, they will blow up in your face. Here are some tips on how to navigate this new terrain. Keep reading »
I met Michael six months after I left my previous relationship and was, I think, understandably not eager to get into anything super-committed. It turned out I had good reason to be wary: I was still trying to figure out my sense of what “myself” or “Rebecca” was as an individual after being in a relationship that required me to defer to being one-half of a couple, not one whole person in a partnership with another whole person. The baggage weighed on me and made me scared of what the relationship would ask of me. Michael and I broke up twice. Keep reading »