Category Archives: Horoscopes

Friskyscopes are your weekly love horoscopes from your astrosexologist Kiki T.! Learn more about what your astrological sign should expect this week in the dating, relationship, and sex department.

For The Week Of August 8-14, 2011

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

It might feel as if the weight of the world is on your shoulders, so avoid letting yourself get run down. However, it’s likely this is more psychological than physical, as you’re playing your own worst enemy a little harder these days. Whatever the case, rely on traditions you have to pamper yourself, as it’ll take some self-bribery to truly motivate you properly this week.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

No matter how many judgments you have about yourself, you’ll be happy to discover that you are actually someone’s idol. Yes, love in the form of worship will be working its way to you and will cheer up a few dark spots in your life. As it goes, it’s just your perspective that needs some shifting and it seems that kick in the booty will come soon enough with ribbons and bows.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Your trust issues can be such a bitch, but luckily the one person you trust the most, as in yourself, will prove to be a winner, as a hunch you’ve been hauling around will finally be confirmed, as the green light you’ve been hoping for will finally shine bright and give you the go ahead for the future you’ve been dreaming of.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

You can’t force anyone to believe in your ideology by just saying it; they’ve got to watch you live it, as that is where you’ll gain the most fans. So, this week, despite just wanting to bark demands and have everything fall into place, realize it won’t be that easy. Motivation this week means taking action and truly being what you say.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Although having conflict is evil and can drain the life out of you, this week, when you get your sweet revenge, you’ll finally learn the sweeter points of war. Yes, those bitches that have doubted you and waited for you to fail will finally get a show they won’t forget, as they can all kiss your booty as you ascend up that ladder of success.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

This is your week to shine, as love and commitment will finally be one in the same. If you’re with someone, then expect the thrills to increase and more exciting responsibilities that bind to occur. If you’re single, work those sparks, as full on fire can ignite now. Yes, this isn’t the week for you to be sitting at home and knitting tea cozies.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Summer will start to truly sizzle now, as love, sex and destiny will all be happening in obvious ways. Yes, no more having to scour the scene for clues, as the mystery of emotions will start to unravel and reveal something sweet for you to hold onto. Of course, whether you get bored of this victory shortly will remain in question… However, doubtful. So don’t get dramatic!

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

The world will revolve around you, dammit! To get it so will mean being a bit more assertive about where you want to go. So, no being a wallflower, and reach out to everyone with what you want. The more contact, the better. After all, nothing ventured, nothing gained, but as you’ll discover, there will be a lot of others who’ll want to spin around your axis.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Break out the bubbly, as good news will likely land into your life in terms of career. However, this can upset the balance on the homefront in some way, as a touchy ego won’t be so easy to maneuver around. No matter, don’t let anything or anyone rain on your parade now, no matter how hard someone wants to guilt-trip you. This is your week, so take it.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Madness does make you curious, but this time around, be ready to look beyond the surface, as the show that’s being put on can appear to be more dramatic that it actually is, so beware. If you want the truth, it’ll mean sitting back and taking in the bigger picture. As it goes, if you look long and hard enough, you will see everything for what it is.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

You’re going to have to do a lot more leg work than you would like, but if you want what you want, it’ll mean setting an example and the minions will follow from there. Yes, power can be a bitch to wield, but if you stay focused, the rewards will arrive one by one. So, have faith, as now things won’t move too fast for anything or anyone but you.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Hold people to their word! Otherwise, if you start to give in now, there’s no telling how far you’ll stretch your limits and once you go there, what’s the point? If you do, it’ll put you on the defensive, rather than the offensive, and that is just not an acceptable position for someone as charming and divine as you. Seriously!

For The Week Of July 25-31, 2011

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

You’ll have amazing flashes of genius this week, which can open up a lot of exciting opportunities for you — if you put it into play now. Yes, it’s not a time for hesitation, as this is the moment you’ve been waiting for — all those ducks are in a row and it’s time for you to launch the initiatives one-by-one. The future is now!

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

You can’t care what everyone else will think, because this week those opinions will be running rampant and you’ll have to be the one to break free of all that static to know what you want and go for it anyway. Screw peer pressure. What has the herd mentality gotten you before? This time, say and do what you must, and do it loudly and proudly, as liberation is your sex now.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Whatever you are feeling, trust it. Nothing has to make sense in a linear way now, and if you try to add two plus two, it won’t add up anyway. Yes, this is when your imagination and intuition will have to lead the way, but don’t you worry, as you’ll find that the only thing holding you back is your own self-judgment and procrastination.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Perfection is a state of mind, and despite the dented cans that come your way, you can still see the beauty and potential within. This is your gift, as it is your curse. However, this week, it’ll play in your favor, as being able to see beyond those mired surfaces will make you the lucky winner of a treat that’s worth its weight in emotional and spiritual gold.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Nobody ever said love was easy, but only you can make it less difficult — as in, if you want to get, you’d better give. Enough of the keeping score and thinking balance can be struck using mathematics. As it goes, this time you just have to extend yourself generously because you care, not because you want something.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Trust you have the upper hand, because you do. No matter what that other says or wants you to think, don’t believe it. Ultimately, all that bull is just subtle manipulation that you don’t have to fall prey too. As it goes, some people just don’t give in easy, and that will have nothing to do with you, so don’t even play those games. For now, keep your eye on the prize and conquer!

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

You may hear all that you want to hear from your baby, but it’s their actions afterwards that will be what you should really pay attention to. Seems they’ll be pouring it on thick and while it might be true, unless they can actually execute what they lay on you, it’s as good as a hill of beans. While they might not be lying, it will produce another form of disappointment

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Despite all the brakes your brain might be pulling, forget logic and just go and have yourself a good time. After all, there are only so many opportunities for fun in a given week, and as this one kicks off, it’ll mean grabbing the irons while they’re still hot. Sure, you might get a little burned, but understand that tiny sting will be what it takes to wake you up again.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Comfort and security are what turn you on. So, as life settles into a more regulated routine, expect this will be exactly what floats your boat. Seems being able to be calm will be what brings out that wilder woman inside you, as buying the cow after tasting the milk is what makes you hungrier for more. Hoorah, empty calories l’amour no more!

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Nothing you say or feel has to be set in stone, so if you want to go that extra mile to let out all those feelings and thoughts you’ve had pent up in you, do it. For now, it’s about the moment and setting down the foundation for the future. So, feel free to put it on the line, as the deeper the roots you set, the stronger they will be. Sure, it might change again, but for now, it’s one step at a time.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Feel what you feel and own it. While you might feel the pressure to have to say it too, realize you don’t. For now, it’s just about what you need to do for you and if that means analyzing all the nuances of what you want, where you want to go, etc., then so be it. As it goes, it’s your peace of mind that needs the sorting out now, so set those priorities correctly.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Life is going to get a bit more complex, as it becomes more obvious what you want in love, leaving you to wonder if that other person is on the same page. It seems there will be some slight lagging behind by them, which could lead you to have to be a bit more charming. Sure, a little humbling, but easy enough to solve.

For The Week Of July 18-24, 2011

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

You can worry yourself sick over everything you have and don’t have, but why put yourself on such a paranoid path? Who cares? Every day can bring new surprises, which can lead you through varying standards by-the-day. The only one judging yourself is you, and why play that game when you always put yourself last on every list? Yes, time to rethink your approach.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Who cares what gets in your way now, you have the force to make anything happen, as your will to succeed will be indomitable! So, remember this as this week starts with some curve balls thrown your way, leaving you wondering what the point is. However, know if you work through it, the pot of gold at the end of this rainbow will be larger than you expect!

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Hold tight, as your rise to fame is going to go faster and much more direct! Yes, good news is coming, as what you’ve been wishing on a star for will finally start to show hints that it’s going to happen. Just don’t hesitate to know you deserve this moment and go with it. Consequences? They’ll be minor and you can deal with them later. For now, time to celebrate!

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Sometimes it’s what others expect of you that makes you work harder to reach that goal, so don’t slack off and give up on that someone that has been showing sluggish signs of inferiority. As it goes, it is in them, but it will just take a bit more encouragement. Thankfully, this is a week when playing cheerleader will suit your style.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Don‘t hold back the animal in you, as bringing it fully now is what it’ll take to get that other to open their eyes and see the real you. Sure, the coy routine works if you want to spend your life as a bottom, but why suffer at the whims of another? Time to grab the bull by the horns and show it what you’ve got, because that’s the only way to incite their passion from within.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Money can’t buy you love, but it can get you blown the way you like. Yes, buying favors now will be what gets your honey to do as you wish. Not that you have to be extravagant, but showing some appreciation with your wallet will be just what is needed to revive the magic once again, as flashing a little green will get you tickled pink.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

No matter how lackluster you’re feeling, fake it until you can make it. Yes, bring those bells and whistles to your style and show off, even if you have to put on a happy face. As the sign of theatrics, you know you can play any part if need be, and that is what will be required of you. You never know what you can spark to ignite another and yourself at any moment’s notice.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

You love to bark out orders, so this week will be right up your alley — knowing what direction you want to go in and how you want others to follow suit will matter. Seems as though it’ll also require some risk-taking, as going along worn paths won’t be where you will find your treasure. In fact, the more left of center you aim, the more on target you will be.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

If you aren’t feeling it, there is no need to let yourself loose all over town. This week, if you want to get it good, the odds are in your favor to get it delivered right to your door. Yes, time to host some impromptu get togethers and invite one and all, as who winds up ringing your doorbell could be just what you’ve been waiting for.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

You have a gift with words, so don’t let anyone out talk you when it comes to your feelings, ideas or decisions. They can say whatever they want, but be ready to throw back what you’ve got, even if you have to drag some drama into your case. In fact, hearing you say what you must may be your biggest eye-opener yet!

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

To be at your best, you need to feel as your best. If this requires you indulge some of your naughty little vices, well, then so be it. After all, you’re not applying for sainthood and god knows you need the release. So, do what you will, as it’s all about the decadence and glamour you submit yourself into now that’ll bring you back round to feeling like the real you.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Break free of that someone that doesn’t get it and be done with it already. No more beating your head against a brick wall trying to get them to see the obvious, as they just won’t. Best to cut your loses now, as nothing should be this hard and the only conclusion you can make at this point is that they truly are that stupid.

For The Week Of July 11-17, 2011

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Forget the formalities and just let it all hang out. Besides, what is the point of living out an act that lacks real heart, especially when it comes to dealing with matters of love? Time to get real and make it work on terms that can actually happen. Otherwise, pretending you like things you don’t or are okay with things you’re not will obviously end poorly.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

If you have been seeking approval from one of your honey’s relatives or having your family accept the dude you have on a hook, then hooray for this week! Yes, go out and buy that three-tier cake, because you will be wanting to get your party on, as miracles regarding family will take place, making you finally get what the fuss is all about.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Keep the valium close by, because this is the week when trying to get that extra bit of calm will be a bit harder to come by, especially when various confessions get spewed and set your brain on fire. Not that all that you learn will be horrid, but just not expected and might change how you view another. However, the aggravating part is you kind of saw it coming.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Keeping up with the Joneses is boring and anyone trying to go head-to-head with you on such base circumstances will sadly be mistaken, as you don’t play those games and can demolish them in minutes. However, another ego battle under your belt is never a bad thing, so if you like to be mildly entertained, be ready to squelch the competition hard this week.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Set the record straight. If your relationship is careening out of control and your baby is being all sorts of whack, then you need to slam on those brakes to get back on course. Now is the time to get clear with your goals, near and far, as your other is no mind reader and as of late, you’ve been one weird cookie to follow.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Feel free to lock the doors, close the curtains and take time out from the world — or better yet, take a trip out of town and get back to the core of who you are, without distractions. As it goes, you are in major need of clarity now, but if you stay among the static, you won’t be receiving any of the messages you can learn.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

There will be a certain protocol among “friends” that is expected of you, so don’t overstep boundaries. If there is something you want from another now, it’ll mean having tact and perhaps even a little ass kissing. While that is never good news, it’s all part of the game. However, if this ultimately means a win, then know it’s a small price to pay.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

What you think is yours and what another wants to give won’t sync up. Yes, it’ll be a time for having the old versus new be among the obstacles you face now. While it’ll require major uphill climbing, know that if you have a goal in mind, it won’t be an issue. However, if you don’t stop and reconfigure your plan, you will be the last one to pass that finish line.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Whoever said love was easy certainly wasn’t dating the people you date. You know it, this week is when your idealism can come crashing down and have you seeing your situation differently. You may end up re-estimating the potential of the one you’re with and the relationship you are striving for…. Whatever, at the very least you can always keep them as your #1 booty call.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

If you want to get anything done, you’re going to have to do it yourself — even if this means getting off in a manner that makes your brain fry. Yes, darling, your needs will be getting way more intense and to satisfy their urges, it may take going out of your comfort zone in a bigger way to reach that itch that is dying to be scratched.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

You just have to roll with the punches when it comes to your emotions, as this week you will hit a crossroads and things might not be as in sync as you’d like. Your heart may be somewhere, with your mind wandering elsewhere — and as you proceed ahead, all you want to do is bad. Crazy consequences are around every corner, so tread lightly.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Your day-to-day life will not be as easygoing as you’d want, because agendas will get crossed and you might have to be the one that bites it and concedes to others’ plans. If you do, take one for the team and make a mental note of the graciousness you have shown. As it goes, not everyone around you is such a team player, so best to keep your antennae up now.

For The Week Of July 3-10, 2011

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Love and relationships don’t have to be one in the same. So, if it’s just a friends with benefits situation that suits your lifestyle now, then so be it. You don’t have to apologize for any of your actions and you certainly don’t have to explain yourself to anyone either. Just enjoy the thrills as they come, as your Cheshire grin will say all it needs to the world around you.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

The popular vote is in your hands, so do with it what you will, as people all have their eyes on and trust in you. While it will be a big ego boost to know how much others believe in you, it can get a bit daunting thinking about the responsibility you have in your hands. However, don’t placate your motivations to suit others, as it’s your own judgment that will keep you on top.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

You’re a competitor through and through. So, when it comes to reaching for that brass ring, don’t hold back. There is no need to feel humble now, as you do have credentials to brag about, impressing anyone in earshot. This isn’t the time to let others read in-between the lines, so be clear and direct. After all, it’s not just having a dream, but knowing you deserve it too.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Sex is a powerful form of communication. With some, you can take it for what it is, as depth isn’t always part of the dialogue, but then there are those that speak with nuances that make you stop to think. So, when you are feeling this, reach deeper into it. After all, nothing hits the spot quite like when you’re both on the same page, intensely stirring the plot just so.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

You’ll be bragging about your baby to everyone this week, as love will be making you feel all is right with the world. Yes, your honey will be taking care of business in a bigger and bolder way, making you feel cared for and loved in a way you never quite expected. Even if you were already in love, expect to fall even deeper.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

You’re not one to follow the path most taken; so don’t get frazzled now, as what you expected didn’t come to fruition. Consider it an eye-opening experience, but don’t waste another second trying to sort out the aftermath. Chalk this one up for what it is and then wipe the slate clean, as there is a method to your madness, but with an even more unique twist.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

You love drama, excitement and flying around the emotional spectrum at breaking speeds. Remember this, as this week’s vibe is all about that. Yes, surprises are in stores, sudden twists can occur and all the while, you won’t know up from down — but in the most exciting and glamorous way possible.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

You know how to talk a big game, but don’t go there, unless you can back it up. As it goes, life is moving faster now and nothing will go unnoticed. Big results will come from what you say, so unless you are ready to deal with the consequences, avoid those subject matters. Of course, knowing how to keeping your mouth shut has never been a strong point, so be ready to wing it.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

You’ll be feeling extra astute this week, tuning into feelings in a sharper way. While this can mean getting a bit more defensive with some, it can also open you up to a few that you’ve kept at a distance. Yes, there’ll be lots of moving and grooving on the communication scene and it can wind up with a few new lines that’ll have you ringing with an interesting curiosity.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Focus on one wish at a time. Even though you do have a capacity to juggle a few things at once, now isn’t the time to play with your time in that way. Instead, work those baby steps in procuring the most immediate issue at hand, because once you open up one door, others will fling open and will make you happy you weren’t too fast to jump the gun with those other decisions.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Hopefully, you’re feeling a whole new level of freedom, optimism and lust for your future, as the stars shine down upon you now. Don’t hesitate to deny yourself pleasure, as opportunities are there to feed your desires the way they are meant to, stuffing them to the gills if need be. Yes, throw caution to the wind, because even the danger will be exhilarating now.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

This week can cost you more than you wish, but think of the bigger picture. Investments take time to pay off, so just take in the pressure and breathe through it. In time, it will work to your favor, but not now. It’s just how the cookie crumbles, but if you can see it for what it is, put your neurosis on the backburner and trust all will be just fine.

For The Week Of June 27-July 3, 2011

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

In life, it’s all who you know; if you drop the defenses toward that someone circling your crowd, you might see that he or she is a valuable asset. At the very least, they might lead you to new opportunities that will be beneficial to you. It’s not like you have to be BFFs with everyone, but sometimes going through the motions to get what what you want is what needs to be done.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Use your power wisely. Otherwise, there is a long ways to fall, but for you, a completely unnecessary one. After all, you are liked and people do listen to you, so don’t abuse what you have and try to wield the control in a way that subtly seems out of character. You can have it all if you only bide your time.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

The world is exactly where you want it, and if you step off that plank and jump into the deep end, you will find it more than soothing and sensational. That’s right, it’s time to open your mind and expand your notions of how your life should be, as there is so much more out there for you to explore. If you want to experience it all, this is your time to make the first contact.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Sweet little secrets will open up in your tiny hand, making you feel delicate, romantic and charmed. Yes, darling, this is when attitudes will change and your ego will get a delightful overhaul. However, as for how this moment finds its way to you, realize it won’t be direct. So, despite reading this now, don’t worry, the surprise isn’t totally blown.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

The balance of power is going to reach perfection this week, making you feel at one with your universe. To make the most of it, live out this dream and don’t over-think the future too much. As it goes, life is always going to be changing, but for now, it’s amazing and to keep it lasting will mean continuing to appreciate it.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

There will be many things said to you this week that will be music to your ears, but do keep your BS meter turned on, because not all that is said will be as truthful as you’d want to believe. Take enough to give yourself peace of mind, but don’t feel the need to have to switch your life around to accommodate anyone else’s, as ultimately it can make you feel like a sucker.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

This is the time of year when life is always a little more exciting, but this week the thrills mount a little higher, as a whimsical romantic surprise unfurls verbally, really putting that someone’s money where their mouth has been. Let all your paranoia drift away, as this is the time when all that you dream will align and reveal that pot of treasure at the end of the rainbow.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Embrace your sense of security for all it is, because what you wish is what you get and whatever is happening in your life right now will have its screws tightened, sealing your fate in a more definitive way. Luckily, if this isn’t to your liking, there is still enough space to get out, but move fast, as time is running out.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

As they say, you can fake it until you make it — so don’t be shy in talking a bigger game than usual, as it’s not about what you have, but what you believe and put out there. Besides, it’s your confidence and the way you articulate yourself that will get you heard the most, so don’t be afraid to lay it on the line, because saying it is the first step to getting it.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Wealth is a subjective state of mind. So, as this week moves life into a grander set of emotions, don’t hold back because of financial limitations. After all, where there is a will, there is a way. Plus, in true Gemini spirit, you love to solve problems, so trust that your most priceless possession now is knowing how to redefine life outside of those textbook definitions.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Miracles can happen now, giving you whole new appreciation for life in a way that scares you, but also makes you more curious than you have been in ages. For now, soak it up and don’t try to move so fast. As it goes, you do have time on your hands, so just make sure the next step is one on solid ground. Until then, hurrah!

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Don’t bother trying to edit yourself. Right now, there will be too many new feelings, ideas, opinions, etc., so let it all out and see how the chips fall. After all, everything has a reason and if others can’t handle it … well, that alone might be reason enough for why you have to express yourself now.

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