Category Archives: Horoscopes

Friskyscopes are your weekly love horoscopes from your astrosexologist Kiki T.! Learn more about what your astrological sign should expect this week in the dating, relationship, and sex department.

For The Week Of July 13-19, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Don’t reward wimpy behavior. No matter what you think may be going on with your crush’s life, the fact is you shouldn’t make excuses for him. if he can’t take responsibility for himself and communicate or at least be decently responsive, then why sit around and wait for understanding? If you really know your worth, you’d know to move on.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

To every story there is always a few more sides than your own and this week, you’ll be getting that change of scenery that you weren’t expecting. The good news is that it will probably better than you imagined and will be more fulfilling in the long run. However, at first glance you might not be so impressed, but know there is more than meets the eye with epiphanies now.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Shift gears and go the opposite way. If you’ve been reserved as of late, go out and have yourself a parade. If you’ve been a wild nympho, time to put on the chastity belt. Whichever you can, switching up and doing a 180 in your routines will be the miraculous way to draw in what you want. Who knows how this will work, but according to the stars that is what will work.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Just as your love life has been sailing along, in totally balance with your life, in comes a big ole pothole to shake you up and have you seeing a few new sides to your sweetie. If you’re lucky, this will mean a more darling side — but if you’re the majority, expect to be seeing a bratty mess that will have you wondering where the hotness is. (Don’t worry, verbally, you’ll set it straight.)

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Keep your communication to the basic facts. Whoever you are talking to, someone new or someone you’ve been seeing, this is the time when practicality and putting your brain to work in a more logical way will bode well for you. Although the temptation to go into the closet of skeletons is there, keep conversations light. As it goes, delicate sensibilities are on the line.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Life is about to get ten times more fun, as your party house lights up with passion and thrills. Seems all the universe is turning its power to you, giving you all sorts of sexy little influences that’ll make your world just that more special — like new flirtations, interesting agreements, spontaneous opportunities and all round exciting happenings. Dig it.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

The good news first: you should have a fabulous hair week. The bad news, despite how hot you feel and look, you won’t feel as if anyone in your vicinity is worth sharing that with, as it’ll feel as if no one is on par with you mentally. While you dominate conversations, at least be glad you’ve come to realize it takes more than a pretty face to turn you out.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Keep moving forward, talking to everyone in sight and keeping your options open. This isn’t time to get too serious about anything, or it’ll be the first and last mistake you make in ruining a good time. The less you intense you are and lighter the attitude you have, the more you will be able to give space to whomever it is that will start to gain relevance as the weeks go on.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

If you’ve been saving for a rainy day, feel free to let this week be your time to indulge yourself in mindless spending and luxuriously pampering. Make it a little adventure if you can, perhaps taking a spontaneous weekend trip or even longer if possible. Now is the time to get yourself back in the spotlight of your own life.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

You’re going to have to get more selfish and competitive about what you want. The wishy washy la-la routine is cute, but you know that you can’t hide behind good manners too long, because when it comes down to it, your passion and ambition is going to eat you alive and without heeding it’s call, you will never be satisfied.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Your kinky little beast will be driving nails into your brain until you do as it says. This isn’t time to be held back because of your fears, as confronting the worst and best sides of who you are on the agenda and about to turn up the heat in your life in a way you never thought. Confidence, passion and most importantly, imagination are yours in spades. Use it or lose it.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Barking out orders as if you were Queen of the World is a habit that often put you on people’s s**t list, but this week lo and behold, it’ll work beautifully. Somehow, the way you wield that magic will have a sorcery to make men fall at your feet and do and say as you command. However, use this power for good and not ego, or your dominance will ultimately fail you.

For The Week Of July 6-12, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

When you are at your best, you know it. You feel it in your bones. Don’t deny you know this about yourself, just because some loser guy can’t get with your program. You can rationalize all you want, make excuses, but if he is not with you in the here and now, then you have to stop lying to yourself. Realize, once the lies stop, the truth and new hotness can come back in.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Being the team leader is not a role you prefer, but this week if you want your baby to start picking up the slack and stop treating you like you’re hired help, then you are going to have to kick some ass and make demands. Enough is enough and if you want to feel like the queen of your domain, you are going to have to get your serf to act accordingly.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

You know you suffer from the “hearing what you want to hear” syndrome, but this week a vaccine is in sight and these interesting communications will reveal something quite mysterious, intense and real. Seems there is more than meets the eye with whoever this sly talker is and that no matter what is learned, a bigger curiosity is about to open in your mind.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

The love for your boo is about to soar to new heights, but don’t forget you have a life too. While the attached at the hip look is cute and will give you a sense of security that you crave, know it won’t bode well if you start blowing off others to keep playing arm candy. Realize what makes you special is your independence, so exercise it for maximum happiness.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Ultimatums are necessary if you want to see the life you want happen. Otherwise, waiting for someone to get on your page or seeing if what you think they are isn’t actually what they are will only postpone you from your destination. There is no time to waste, as time is crucial. Be willing to lay down the law or forever hold your peace.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

If you want your future to brighten up, you have to let bygones be bygones. No matter how new the wounds may be, packing up the past in a box and sending it down the river is vital for your immediate future. Letting anything fester will only open up the emotional gashes bigger and more unnecessarily so. Take the power and make a clean break be your only option.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Trying to be friends with an ex isn’t always the best option. Although you’d like to show you can be a bigger person, why? No one is judging you and you aren’t running to be the next Mother Theresa. Seriously, some people don’t deserve your time and if you couldn’t love them one way, realize you don’t have to love them at all.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

This is going to be a busy work week and to get your kicks you might have to settle on more psychological ways of getting off. Be ready to test your skills at phone sex, virtual sex toys or whatever you may be open to that isn’t the traditional way of going feeding your desires. As it goes, this is the time to prove you can have it all.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Break tradition and be the first to spill your guts. You know what you feel and waiting for validation isn’t going to change that. While you do like to hold onto your security blankets as long as you can, time to speed up your love life. With some of your turbo force love that has you taking control, you will lead the pack to beautiful places.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

You’ll have the whole world in your hand, how you want to stroke it is up to you. Seems you will have the charming element to make men submit to your will easily. However, your eyes will be bigger than your stamina, so use this power accordingly and sparingly, as where you direct your energies will set the pace for the rest of the month.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Love will be making you crazy, as it takes a hold of you and has you relentlessly plowing after that object of desire, as if your life depended on it. Hallelujah for the passion and determination, as this will bring you to a whole new level of psycho and has you proving to that right someone that you are a sucker for their love.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

You can’t always get everything you want and this week it’ll be even more frustratingly so, as there will be two hot choices, but only one path you can take. You’ve juggled in the past and learned that no good can come from that behavior — despite how good it may sound in theory. This time around, guarantee yourself some real resolve and be mature by seizing your own fate.

Decode My Dream: My Left Foot Fell Off!

I had a really weird dream last night. I went to work at the restaurant where I wait tables, but I had a major problem. My left foot fell off. I was freaking out because I obviously couldn’t wait tables without my left foot. I approached my friend Dan and asked him to keep my foot for me — I trusted him to take good care of it because he is anal-retentive and has a mild case of OCD. He put it in a solution in a large bell jar which was filled with formaldehyde. I knew that my foot was safe.

I was worried because I still needed to work and didn’t want my bosses to know that I had no left foot. I could still walk around perfectly, by the way. I started searching for my black tights, because I knew that I would be able to keep my foot on with them and because they are dark that no one would see the bloody cut or the wraps around my ankle. I borrowed a pair of tights from a co-worker, got the foot from Dan, and was going to proceed to attach my foot back on to my leg, although I didn’t actually re-attach it in the dream. Next thing I knew I was showing everyone the bloody cut and we were all in awe of how well the tights were keeping my foot on. What the hell? – Footless Keep reading »

For The Week Of June 29-July 5, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

All the opinions your friends throw at you will make you feel as if they are all nagging bitches that can’t seem to let you have your own life. Sure, you can play on the defensive as long as you want, but that will only be postponing a golden opportunity. Yes, your friends can be a pain in the ass, but this time around there is reason for their incessant goading. DO AS THEY SAY!

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Put your ego in charge and don’t be scared to show off your cockier side to that honey you’ve been eyeing. While the perfect woman routine goes without saying for you, in terms of looks, poise and smarts, you’re going to have to fan the flames a lot harder by throwing more combustion into the fire. Subtly won’t work this week.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

If you’re in the midst of a foreign adventure in a literal or metaphoric way, then you are right on track with fate. This is your time to get perspective and not let your standards slack, putting your panties in a bunch. Although it’ll take time to orientate yourself, once you loosen up, you’ll find yourself going full speed ahead commando style in no time.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

A more intense and intimate side of you is coming out, throwing off that someone close to you, as this will be a whole new slice of you that will dazzle and amaze — as well as shock. Seems there is only so long you can play the party girl before the serious feelings start to set and voila, emotions take center stage. Don’t worry, the audience is on your side.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

You and your baby will be the envy of everyone and everyone will be wishing they were you. Love this time, as this is something you have earned. After all the crap you’ve gone through, this is finally the time you can breath easy and realize you have something solid to rest yourself onto. Expect those bigger talks to start now.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

If you take a more practical approach to love this week, you won’t be having any issues. This means letting your boo have a say in things and being more diplomatic. If you are single, then refresh your routines and spruce up your life with detail, as this is the time the little things will shine the most for you.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Live a little and take on all last minute opportunities that come you way. The more spontaneous you allow yourself to be, the hotter your prospects will turn, as this is the time when you will need to amp up your energy to attract the same back to you. Otherwise, vegging about and trolling for what’s convenient will get you just that, another schlub.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Family is going to be crashing your scene, get into costume to play the part that’ll be less drama. Yes, break out the pretty bows and ribbons, because this is when your Betty Crocker side is going to have to make an appearance and show off that more innocent and domestic side to yourself. While you can’t truly hide a tiger’s stripes, camouflage the best you can.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

What you hear isn’t what is going on. However, if you don’t want to spend the rest of your life deciphering code, then realize this might be the time you take this mission and send it off into the impossible unknown. Sure, he’s cute, coy and flirty, but bizarre and scattered? Sometimes once the sexy is lost, it’s gone forever.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Your brain is going to slow down, giving you time to recollect yourself before heading into a more intense part of your summer. Time to make decisions and paint that bigger picture for yourself. Otherwise, someone else might come along and draw it for you and it might not be as fun, comprehensive and beautiful as the job you’d do.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Words will fly out of your mouth quicker than you can control and while you might feel a bit of embarrassment and a fear of the consequences, you will find that you have done yourself a favor by putting out what you really feel out there. This will lead to that and for sure, tastier things will be coming at you.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Your intuition will be gurgling with all sorts of visions and ideas. While some will seem too outrageous to entertain, don’t dismiss it. Seems every thought lurking in your subconscious is super powerful now and if you take the info given to you and lead with it, it will bring you onto a wild and erotic adventure that’ll have you realizing your genius.

For The Week Of June 22-28, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Love will rain down from the skies onto you, be willing to go with the flow. Seems you will be on the fast track to being the most popular girl in the zodiac this week, as people will come out of the woodwork to help you and people you never suspected will shower you with kindness. Call it karma or call it a cosmic fluke, whichever, take full advantage!

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Dealing with authority is not your thing and anyone trying to usurp the power on you is a major buzz kill. However, this week, someone will know just the right way to straddle their will onto you, showing you that there are some delightful ways to feel the burn and that second in command is actually the one with the real power.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Your spiritual nature will be working overtime; making you strive higher for your ideals as compromising choices will seem tempting. This is your time to fight your inner lazy freak and realize that what you can get and what you have aren’t syncing up and if you want that to happen, it’ll mean taking a bold step in the right, but harder direction.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Your world is about to get cozier, as intimacy heats up between you and certain someone, breaking down barriers suddenly. Seems there is way more than meets the eye, which will shock, amaze and turn you on a few more notches. Of course, this should be a two-way street, so get ready with throw some skeletons of yours out of your closet too. Overall, hotness this week!

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Deals are going to be made and you will be sailing on a lot smoother of a current with your baby, as this is your week that all will finally start to go into perfect balance. If by chance, something dramatic happens instead, putting you into challenge mode, trust it and push hard through it. As it goes, the passion you give is the passion you get.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

If you and your baby can be a support team for each other and kick bad habits a la deux, then consider that nasty routine of yours over, as it’ll take two to make miracles happen. Of course, if you can’t see to working on a team for that greater good, then this is the time to seriously work through group dynamic issues, because this week it’s all about creating perfection.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Anything is possible, as the stars are shining their spotlight onto you and showing off to the world your hotness in its magnitude. Don’t be shy, play up the part and reveal all that you are. There is no such thing as being shy this week, as taking big chances pay off and prove to you that brilliance is in your blood.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

If you’re in a serious relationship, this is the week to meet his parents or if you’ve met them, then expect to deal with them in some way now. If you’re single, then put your efforts into feng shui-ing your house to help in revving your priorities. Whatever the case, home and family are under the gun, be a good girl and sort it out.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

What you hear is what isn’t what you’ll get. Yes, this is going to be one of those wobbly weeks where no one is going to be too upfront and reading in-between the lines is necessary to get any peace of mind. However, the good news is that the reason this is happening, in your love life, is that certain someone is lacking the balls to just flat out say he’s nuts for you.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Take a financial plunge together and make it happen. Instead of dipping your toes into a commitment, mean what you say. Sure, you’ve made mistakes before and it’s scarred you, but if you live any other way, you’d only be lying to yourself. Besides, isn’t wondering all the consequences to every scary action one of your favorite pastimes? Don’t deny the pleasure!

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Make a wish and send it out there into the universe. This is your time when luck will be infusing your life in the most magical ways, making you do a double take on the people around you and especially the prospects. Seems there is a lot you have to be grateful for, but unless you show it, it’ll be as good as nothing.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Fate has a funny way of nudging you in the right direction, if you are willing to let something bigger than yourself take charge. If you are willing, this is the week to give it a try and let yourself be dazzled by surprises that’ll prove to you that you are exactly where you are suppose to and with whom you are meant to be with…at least for now.

Decode My Dream: Why Does Brandon From “90210″ Haunt My Dreams?

“For some bizarre reason, Jason Priestley (aka Brandon Walsh from “90210″) has been a recurring character in my sex dreams since I was a teenager. Sometimes he’s the one I’m having sex with—I remember one dream in high school where we were doing it in the rain by some lake. It got really muddy and messy, but it was still hot sex. Sometimes Jason just makes a quick appearance. More recently, I remember a dream where I was getting it on in a bar bathroom with my boyfriend at the time (P.S. I am the kind of person who is disgusted by the idea of any physical contact in a bar bathroom), and right in the middle, the door swings open and there’s Jason! He was like, “Oh, sorry,” awkwardly and shut it again. But still, why is he always there? Yes, I’m a big “90210″ fan, but in truth, I am much more of a Dylan lover than a Brandon girl. What does this mean?” – 90210 Girl
Keep reading »

For The Week Of June 15-21, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

This isn’t your time to vocalize your feelings or try to get your honey to get with your program, because the understanding won’t be there and will instead only drive you insane. Save your energy for other activities, as trying to get your way won’t be happening. Instead, think of this like a vacation and let all the rules fly out the window.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Dream up an adventure and go out on a limb. If your baby doesn’t follow, then take that as sign of Christmas future. Yes, your tedium in your current situation is only going to end when you put out the efforts to fan the flames again. However, once you give it a breath or two, it should catch. Otherwise, consider the heat dead.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Intimacy on that level you always dreamt of isn’t as far off as you think. Seems that certain someone has been holding back and this week, the damn gets broken, unleashing heavy passions and creating big revelations. This will cause a major 180 in your relationship trajectory, one in which the target is finally going to hit you where it counts.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Petty arguments and weird conversations will be taking center stage with your boo, making it one of those weeks you both try to outsmart the other and may only wind up creating more confusion than necessary. While the mental sparring gets old fast, do trust at the end of the day you are on the same emotional page and that is a beautiful thing.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Your romantic nature will be inspired to go up and beyond to prove to that special someone how dedicated you are. Don’t hold back, as this is the time your boldness will be received in the right way and in turn, putting you in a whole new mindset that has you fearlessly in love, which is exactly anybody with any balls would wish to be.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

There will be a lot of dreamy promises made, leaving you to wonder how many of them will hold true down the line. However, instead of playing on the defensive, get yourself on the offensive and jumpstart those plans into action by being part of a team that doesn’t expect everyone else to play initiator and executor. Remember, it takes two to make a thing go right.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

A new feeling of love will come over you, turning you into a shut in with your baby. Seems a new energy arrives, creating an irresistible quality that’ll make you both feel like horny teenagers. Chances are this is one of those weeks where the future will seem so bright, you might promise it all. Of course, next week, that could be a whole other story.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Boning will seem too exhausting to you this week, but that doesn’t mean you don’t want your stimulation. This week, it’s all about the intellect, as your brain will be in the most need of attention. If your baby can come through on this end, all will be well. If he can’t, the repercussions won’t be pretty.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

You’re going to have to step up the speed of your love life right now, because at the rate you are going, who knows what will come first—you or your social security check. Seriously, this is not the time to be on the fence, wondering how your love life will fall into perfect place. Now is the time for action, as motion is the only answer to make it happen.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Puzzles are your thing to figure out and sometimes that can be to your detriment, while other times that is your tease. This week, clarity comes for you big time and seeing a certain matter straight can mean finally seeing a certain someone for who they really are — which can be totally traumatic or insatiably sexy.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Nostalgia and sentimentality will be creeping up on you and the easy emotions you thought were disposable won’t prove to be such. Seems you have bitten onto something bigger than you and the normal apathetic route you prefer to take won’t be so possible, as curiosity, lust and respect will be tugging at your heartstrings hard.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Shocking information you hear from a friend is not be taken lightly. Accept it now; despite how harsh it might feel, as it’ll save you time and your ego from ruin. This could include a dose of tough love advice or learning something disturbing about your boo that’ll stop you dead in your tracks. Whichever the case, hold on tight, life is about to twist quite uncomfortably.

Ask The Astrosexologist: Fighting For The Top In A Polyamorous Relationship

Please help, I can’t tell who the true top in my relationship is! I’m an Aquarian woman (2/6/72, 3:51 pm, Providence, RI) who has been dating a Virgo man (9/11/66, 1:59 am, Concord, NH) for four months. He told me he loved me within a week of dating, and has not hidden the fact that he would love to get married. We slept together on the first date, even though he has only been with a couple of women and claims to be very against casual hookups (I admit to seducing him). We are both extremely kinky, and have great sexual chemistry.

My question involves which one of us is really the top. I’m an extremely dominant female, and he is very much the man’s man. While he seems to love his rightful place underneath me, sometimes he turns the tables on me out of the blue and pulls rank as the man of the house. I like both apparent sides to his personality coin, but I do worry that perhaps he’s allowing me to do things he doesn’t enjoy because he cares for me so much. I sense a hidden romantic under his tough exterior. I’m also already married to a woman, and although they have always known about each other (my wife and I are polyamorous), he does get jealous at times and I wonder if he will eventually push me to choose him or her. – Aroused Aquarian Keep reading »

For The Week Of June 8-14, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Live it up this week because this is a good time for you to take on frivolous fun and a devil-may-care attitude. The more fun times you pile up now, the better for you, as next week some intense times will be going down and the more beautiful memories you build up now, the easier the transition to next week will be. Seriously, take any opportunity to laugh now.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

This week is sort of grim in terms of thinking the sickest case scenarios. However, this exercise in your imagination has a purpose, as you’ll be heading into a time that you can actually show some gratefulness to someone close to you and revel in the fact that your nightmares are only in your mind. Sometimes you have to know what you can’t have to cherish what you do have.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Take your time in getting to know the latest catch, because just like fine wine, this flavor should be taken in slowly and sensually to get the full body taste they offer. After all, who needs to rush and fall in love anymore? This is the new millennium. If you aren’t going to make yourself the ruler of your own domain and call the shots that make you the prize, who the hell is?

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Your sexual prowess can be given an Olympic event all its own, as most people would have to train for years to be able to keep up. Therefore, realize his appetite for destruction is not the only sign of love you should rely on. Pace yourself and your baby and if you do, things will sync up the way you want in time. Understand not all champions are born, some must be made.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

You have your lover at your beckon call and that is a beautiful place to have him be. Although at times you wonder if things are little too easy, think about life in Versailles and wonder if they would of wanted to live in the Bastille instead. Appreciate the good life now because not only have you earned it, you want it. Accept this gift horse in your mouth darling!

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

You will hear all the okays you want, but promises won’t go down the way you expect. Call it a misunderstanding or out-and-out disrespect, whatever the case, being as specific as you can is necessary to clear up all discrepancies. However, when all is said and done, know that you only have one shot at this and if directions are not as followed, it’s up to you to leave, non-negotiably.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

You and your boo have a common goal: fun, passion and excitement. However, how you both want to go about it can cause strife, as you both have your own agenda and want to do things your way. Instead of wasting time pushing and pulling, realize to go right to the compromise stage and realize there is room and time for everyone to be Queen (King) for a day.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

This is your time to slow it down and chill out. Your sensuality needs attention and the only way you will be able to practice it to perfection is if you remind yourself to take the time to enjoy satisfaction and explore every detail of your honey’s body and mind. Sure, the quickie does fulfill, but ignoring those other options are like throwing away a winning lottery ticket.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

A rose colored filter is about to overtake your point of view and a feeling that everything is beautiful will be turning you on. Go with it, as this is just the kind of inspiration you need to put you back into a game that has bigger and tastier rewards. You are in the center of the universe right now, so live it up by going all out.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Who cares what the rules are? All you know is that you’re fed up following them. This week, dart off into the path of most unknown, as you need inspiration to prop your life and libido back to a standard that not only is exciting and erotic, but uncharted and mysterious. Seriously, without any curiosity, how do you expect to really get off?

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Stubborn and seemingly undermining opinions a certain friend will spew isn’t exactly from the place you think it will be. Call it jealousy or unrequited love, whatever it is; it won’t be in your personal interest to take this advice to heart. While this behavior is out of character, realize it is somewhat unforgivable too. Bide your time with other company.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Complacency is the worst place to hit in a relationship, as that is when the real action has to begin. This is the time to sink or swim and making that ultimate decision is down to the wire. Yes, seems this is when the true test of taking responsibility is going to happen or not and the real prize for dominance is sealed.

For The Week Of June 1-7, 2009

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Your ideals about domestic bliss are about to get a shocking dose of reality. On one hand, it’ll bring you to a new understanding of your honey, but on the other, it’ll make you a little more queasy at the responsibilities of commitment. At the least, it’ll give you tons to think about and analyze and by the week’s end, expect a beautiful epiphany.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Secrets and sexy mysteries are the theme of the week and the more you explore the naughty unknown, the more you’ll feel tingly in places you never thought you were bad enough to feel. Yes, this is the week your mindset turns around and it’s no more Miss Nice Girl, as heading off into the dark side is where you’ll find its really happening.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

When it comes to your relationship this week, it’ll feel as if you’ve been ruffied. Everything he says and does will feel as if there’s a sexy genius behind his power to turn you on and out. Every time he walks into the room, calls you up, or takes off his clothes, all of it will seem so extra potent that you’ll have a hard time resisting from falling onto your knees.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

If you want your honey to listen to what you say, you’re going to have to get more forceful and really put your foot down and your feelings on the line. While it will take time to get the understanding you want, if you push passionately and stand firm, you will start to see that getting on the same page isn’t so impossible.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

You’re going to have to switch your mind into a more idealistic gear and your heart into fantasy mode, because the more you let yourself float out there on a limb, the more you will be rewarded as that special someone is waiting in the wings for you to just accept what you feel and go for it. Besides, what do you have to lose? If anything, this one will feed your ego quite nicely.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Staying in your comfort zone isn’t going to get you laid. Although your mental pursuits do keep you occupied, you know it’s not enough to ward off that itchy curiosity you get down there. To put your ass back into the game effectively, this is your time to break out and hit new places, to find new faces. Inspiration is out there, but it’s only if you take the initiative to find it.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Make sensuality and lengthy sexcapades the priority for this week, because as it goes, your stamina will be soaring to never levels of hunger that will make you feel like a sex starved animal that just can’t get enough. Plus, with work stress also nipping into your brain, you will need a fast escape into pleasure to keep you sane.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Money luck arrives just in time for you and your baby to start taking about bigger dreams and goals. Time to step up the ambition in your relationship and get an agenda set. Enough of playing house with no real direction in sight, as you know deep down inside that novelty has worn out. Now, time to see what the other is truly made of.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Your charm will be indomitable and all that you say and do will be a powerful aphrodisiac to judo flip anyone you want onto his back, hands or knees. If you are taken, this will mean much time with your legs in the air. If single, watch out world, because as it stands, the market is in dire need for a ladylove just like you.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Your anxiety levels are about to go down a notch and some clarity in your love life is coming. This could be a major breakthrough or meeting someone that seems to come out of nowhere, but has all the hot qualities you seek. Yup, this week is the turning point where your year starts to look up and that dreamy state of being you begins.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

An itching sensation will be coming over you at a most bizarre time, as someone you have been lightly seeing with will start to appear different to you and make you act out in freaky ways. Instead of trying to convince yourself that it’s not real, consider the options and realize that what you have been craving this whole time could be right under your nose.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

A steamy flirtation is about to put you into the danger zone. This is not the time to get careless, as your ambitions are also on the line and splitting your priorities could have you faced with decisions that won’t bode well for you, driving up your stress levels to the point that your brain won’t function the way it should. Seriously, consider all options before making a move.

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