Category Archives: Horoscopes

Friskyscopes are your weekly love horoscopes from your astrosexologist Kiki T.! Learn more about what your astrological sign should expect this week in the dating, relationship, and sex department.

For The Week Of March 15-21, 2010

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Your mind is going straight for the gutter this week, as your libido turns a dark corner and has your curiosities raging to new levels of depravity. While this might seem slightly out of character, explore your wilder side and let loose the secrets you hold so dear. If you let loose just a little, there’ll be someone waiting to greet you on the other side.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Watch out, as you and your honey will reach a sudden boiling point this week, causing words to fly and passionate extremes to arise. While fighting makes you uncomfortable, do realize this sparring match is unavoidable and that it’s more of an opportunity than anything to be as constructive as you can. This is your time to make things right, so don’t mess it up.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Switch up routines and take last-minute offers as they come, as this week will mark a turning of the screw in your life and changing of the guard. Yes, slowly, spring is thawing out your cold heart that winter has seem to zapped the sap out of — but whatever, you needed that hibernation to recalibrate and now, finally, the time has come when you can show it all off again.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Your power and charisma is about to get a jolt of fire that will give you the Midas touch in terms of all that is love and romance. However, use this power sparingly, as this is also the time you are prone to attracting losers who’ll stick to you like fly paper. Be fast to the uptake and cut off the charm when necessary — you can’t and shouldn’t be everything to just anyone.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Change is good. So when you start to make decisions that take you far out of the comfort zone, don’t bat an eye. Hesitation is your worst enemy and the more you can keep yourself busy and keep going with the flow, the better off you will be. Trust your instincts now; they won’t let you down.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Who cares what you say, as trying to censor yourself now will only get you in trouble. Best to be clear with what you feel and say it as directly as possible. However, the problem just won’t be giving it, it’ll be getting it—so prepare yourself to hear some harsh truth too, and coming from sources you least expect. At the least, it’ll be sexy to see that someone show some backbone.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

You won’t be pulling any punches if you just let your mouth go off this week, because it will wind up expressing a bigger and bolder side to you that will even shock you at times. Seems when you’ve reached a limit of patience, you won’t be able to help yourself from just laying it all on the line.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

When your instincts are telling you something, listen to them. No matter how much you might be tempted to go down another route, the fact is you won’t be able to get rid of that nauseating ache in your stomach — you must heed its warning. While you might think you’d be missing out if you don’t feed your curiosity, don’t even tempt fate. It’s not a game you’ll win.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

When you have a moment of weakness, thinking you won’t be able to get over the emotional hump that you are sitting on, go over your past. If you think hard, you will conjure enough ideas and examples of times you have faced adversity ten times harder than this and it’ll pull you through. After all, you have seen and done it all.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Making fast judgments is what you are all about and without them you’d be lost. This week, extend your services to friends, as you can save a few from the wrong guy and for that you’ll be able to wrack up some karmic points that’ll play nicely in your favor down the line. However, in your personal life, forget trying to lead by example. Sometimes a girl just needs to have fun.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

You have to set you mind and sights higher than ever before, as it’ll take a strong, almost cocky, sense of yourself to take the next leap of faith that’ll firmly get you what you want. While luck is on your side, it’ll be up to you to strive that extra mile. So stay focused and keep your eye on the prize — it really is in reach.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Feel free to get on a pedestal and share your philosophies, ideals and critiques. Seems waxing poetic will be the hottest move you can make now, as flexing your mind will be what gets your body the treats it’s looking for. Not to say you don’t already come across as brilliant, but this week, it’ll take a whole new level of power to truly captivate your audience.

Ask The Astrosexologist: Can This Gemini/Virgo Couple Find A Way To Get Along?

I am a Gemini and my boyfriend is a Virgo. We’ve been dating for about a year and a half, but we seem to butt heads ALL the time, over the smallest and the most ridiculous things that get completely blown out of proportion. We just cannot seem to avoid arguing. I always feel the need to talk and express how I feel and he is very reserved. We just can’t seem to get along for more than a few weeks at a time.

The problem is that when we aren’t arguing, I am extremely, extremely happy and I care about him a lot. However, all the arguing has gotten to be too much. I like that we are so different and I am optimistic, but he is overly logical about too many things. We both bring out the absolute worst and the best in each other, but is it possible for us to find some way to get along? Or is this a sign that we shouldn’t be together? – Annoyed and Confused

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For The Week Of March 8-14, 2010

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

You can’t fight fire with fire all the time. So, before you say anything you will regret, let your enemy make the first move. From there, you will have the smarts to know all that you need to destroy them as you see fit, because you can’t always be sweet and nice. This time around, you’re going to have to be that bitch you should have been in the first place.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Finally, you will be back on the top of everyone’s popularity list and your phone will be ringing off the hook. Of course, just because there are many prospects that doesn’t necessarily mean what you want is in the mix. While there will be many who look hot and feel good, how they play out for the long term is questionable. So, play the game, but keep your intentions vague.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

You’re hot, intense and determined, and this week you turn it up even more so as your ambitions catapult you to a whole new level of fame and fabulousness, proving your clout is no joke. While your current love life might not reflect the same type of magic, don’t fret. This newfound power will be just the right filter and magnet to draw in winners, not wimps.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

You’ll be on fire, as all the astrological elements that make sex, love and romance supreme are on your side, making you one hot-to-trot bunny that gets whatever she wants anywhere she hops. So make sure you get out and start setting your sights on some delicious new meat, because spring is just around the corner and it’ll be your season to sizzle!

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Sorry to say, this won’t be an easy week. An emotional standstill reaches the height of its drama, with saucy secrets leaking — and ones you can’t ignore. Seems you’re going to have to make confrontation necessary to get to any understanding with this other person, even if it’s just for your own peace of mind. At the least, after this week, everything you need to do will be obvious.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Being part of a working team doesn’t mean you lay down and take it. Sure, you can have sympathy, but if you don’t see benefits in why you are doing it, stop. Yes, being a sucker isn’t going to win you any play. Back it up and hit restart. Express new rules and lay down new non-negotiable terms. Understand you’ve been nice for far too long.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

You’ll be feeling an edgier taste, and that’ll lead you to a whole new approach to dealing with your prospects. Seems when all is said and done, you’re not feeling that shy and it’ll come out with a big roar by midweek, putting you back on top of your game as never seen before. When it comes to how it’ll work out: those who can keep up will, those who can’t, oh well.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

You like to be worked in one way and one way only: with your ass being kissed. So, for those who don’t do it properly, don’t waste your time trying to school them because they just aren’t going to get it. If you have to spend any time explaining how amazing you are, well, that just kills it. Not everyone is as smart as you’ll want to give them credit for.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Finally, some peace and love return on your home front — you’ll get to settle back into a life where you’ll feel on top of things. While some nagging feelings might occur and guilt on how you got here might spring, forget it. We all have to be ruthless at times and if breaking a few hearts to get back your peace of mind is the price, know it’s actually a small one.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Your mouth will be moving a lot quicker than your legs, and this might not be to your advantage if there is some info you’ve been holding back. Your words will explode this week and if you aren’t so diplomatic with how you lay them out, then you might need those legs of yours to move faster.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Thank God, spring is coming and you’ll start to thaw from the frigidness of winter. Yes, new opportunities are going to appear quickly, heating you up fast and pulling you out of the isolated freakdom that was making you way more judgmental than necessary. Whatever, at least you know you can entertain yourself when the chips are down.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Mars in Leo retrograde is over this week, on the 10th, which means you won’t be feeling like a clumsy mess anymore. Yes, the hold-up that began in mid December is done. All your attempts at moving life forward won’t feel futile. The energy will flow again and your optimism will have real reason to be. From here on out, it’s back in the spotlight for you!

Ask The Astrosexologist: “My Gemini Boyfriend Isn’t Over His Ex!”

I am a Scorpio in a serious relationship with a Gemini. It’s taken my boyfriend a while to get over his ex. Actually, they were broken up for three years before I first got together with him — and he still is not over her! He even told her that he wished she were with him at his brother’s wedding. He promises me that things are different now. I want to believe him, but I’m having trouble trusting him because he’s hurt me over the issue of his ex before. Do I have a chance with my boyfriend or will he just run back to his ex? – Cautious

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For The Week Of March 1-6, 2010

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

It’s all about love with your honey, but it’s the other people who are trying to meddle with your relationship that will get you down and irritate you the most. Seems it’s time to deal with the frienemies openly and stop those undermining comments, as their bitterness is cutting into your state of mind. If that means calling it quits with them, then know this is the best time to do it.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Life is going to start to get a little tricky as your boo will be talking to you with his heart, not his practicality. So, as you hear all the promises that come your way, don’t get too excited yet. If the logistics of the matter don’t match up, take note and then plan accordingly. Sure he wishes he could give you the world, but, as of right now, love his intentions, not the outcomes.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Spring will come early for you as you make a connection that’ll warm even the coldest and darkest parts of your heart. Be open to magnetic personalities that’ll pop out of nowhere and seize your mind with imagination and depth. While you might not trust this spark immediately, don’t be too fast to make any assumptions or you’ll miss out on a very interesting opportunity.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Tension is in the air and, if you want to ride it the right way, this will mean being able to confront it and take control. Enough of being on the defensive! It’s time to get on the offensive and state your case. With some force and some charm, anything you want is in reach. Sure, you’ll have to work it from the bottom up, but as you know, there are worst directions to go.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

You are going to have to be decisive and quick. If you don’t want to lose an opportunity, you must move into the fast lane. No more thinking you can buy more time to sort out your feelings, because your cred will only decrease with the tick-tock of the clock — but do know that if you can’t just say “yes,” then maybe it should be a “no.”

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Brilliant ideas will pop into your mind suddenly and this won’t be the time to ignore those impulses, as you’ll win the deluxe package of love if you follow through. Yes, no matter how silly you feel or how vulnerable you become, expressing yourself will wind up being a liberating experience that will free you exquisitely – in both mind and body. So open up and go!

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Although you might feel like whining to get your way is the quickest method, don’t. While in the short term, it’ll get you what you need; in the long run, it won’t get you what you want. Now isn’t the time to be thinking in terms of instant gratification, so do take that time-out to make what you say count, because words right now do have the power to be set in stone.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Showing some compassion doesn’t make you a doormat; it makes you relatable (at least this week). So, don’t draw conclusions quickly or assume that everyone is after you. The fact is not all the info you want right now is going to be attainable and having some faith in yourself is going to be necessary to keep a lid on it. Understand some surprises are worth waiting for.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

If you wish it, it’ll come true. While you’re not one of those crunchy new-agers, this week you’ll find the power of manifestation is real, no matter what you previously believed. If you can think it, you can make it happen, but it’ll take vision, direction and determination to get it going. After all, how will you get what you want, unless you know what you are looking for?

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Getting held emotional hostage isn’t so fun, unless it’s a little game of cat-and-mouse that requires getting dressed up for the part. However, the catch is this week you will wind up being the mouse more than the cat and that might not be to your liking. You have to remind yourself this is just a game and learn to play all the parts.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Magic words are coming and they’ll put your life into a whole new perspective, lifting your typical pessimistic point of view into a positive one. Yes, the tides are turning, but it’ll be up to you to keep the momentum up. So, as you hear the words you’ve been dying to hear, give back the enthusiasm and share your dreams. Then, yes, totally expect of one of those Hallmark moments.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Mystery and intrigue is your thing and this week your blood will be pumping harder, as a secret affair goes to a new level of naughtiness. Forget trying to convince yourself to stop, because you know it’s a mute point. Relish in your badness — when your inner vixen is in control you truly are at your finest.

Decode My Dream: My Boyfriend Is A Jerk In My Dreams!

I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a year and three months now and our relationship is great. He’s intelligent, super nice, treats me with respect, makes me laugh, and is generally just the sweetest person ever. But whenever I dream about him, he’s a completely different person! He does things to deliberately hurt me, treats me badly, and is just a total jerk to me in my dreams. Very rarely do I have positive dreams about him. I’ve been having these dreams since near the beginning of our relationship, and it’s really confusing and frustrating to me because I know that he would never act this way in real life, and I’ve never suspected or feared that the dreams would come true. What’s going on?

 – Not My Dream Man

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For The Week Of February 22-28, 2010

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

The fidgety anxiety that has been crawling up your spine as of late isn’t going away. This is the time when you will have had it and could possibly be throwing the gauntlet down. Changes in relationship status are coming and it’s not going to be a shock — it’s been a long time in the making. However, who throws it down first could determine where the story takes a big turn.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Surprises are in store for you and they can go either way. Chances are you have had hints all the while where this next chapter in your love life will go, but confirmation will arrive by the week’s end. Seems not all that you see is what appears and secrets that get revealed will be just the kind to make you really stop and wonder.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Spring is just around the corner and you can think about love then. Until then, this is your time to get yourself together, hang with friends and keep life plutonic. Even if you are in a relationship, forget being concerned with too much other than communicating, laughing and just being. As you’ll find, miracles appear when you’re not looking for them.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

You’ll be moving on up, as prestige and status are in your stars! Yes, seems you and your baby are on the fast track to a new level of happiness and togetherness. The spotlight is shining upon you and you’ll be setting a new standard for those around you. Call it power coupling or what have you, but expect everyone will want a piece of it and it’ll feel delicious.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Your idealism is about to get a dose of reality. You’ll see that not all the logistics of a plan you are working on with your honey are going to match up and could even throw you two on opposite sides of the fence. Yes, expect some quibbling and moments of intense sparing, but, whatever, nothing to worry about. There are just some common growing pains all normal relationships should have.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Throw away the plans and work from your instincts — this will bring about more positive results than trying to be painstakingly careful. As it stands, whomever you’re dealing with wants to see that inner you, and if you don’t unleash some of the mystery within, you might as well walk away. Danger, intrigue and seduction are all in you. Express them and watch the love pour in.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

You can’t keep sitting on the fence thinking that the miracle you are waiting for is going to work itself out. While there are small steps forward, things will never go at the speed you want them to, unless you get behind what you believe and give it a big ole shove. Sure, this means taking a chance, but this is love. If you want to be in it to win it, you’re going to have to gamble.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Stop freaking yourself out! It’s not doing a thing for your state of mind. If you keep this panic up, you will most likely be sick by the end of the week and forced to deal with your worst-case scenarios from the sidelines. Time to have some faith in that someone near you and stop holding on so tight. If you squeeze any harder, there will be an explosion.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Who says you can’t have it all? This week your hopes and wishes start coming into sight and romance starts coming alive, as planets align and epiphanies light up your life with just the right dash of magic and revelation, making you turn into the sap ball you never thought you could be. Superbly enough, this role will fit you like a glove.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

If only your honey could keep his mouth shut, he’d get way more loving. Seems too many stupid opinions will pour from his mouth and make you wonder what kind of idiot you’ve hooked up with. While differing opinions will cause riffs, forget trying to change the situation. Fortunately for you, overtime at work will be just what saves you from the ultimate relationship meltdown.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Sharing your feelings doesn’t have to be a big deal. It’s not like you have to reveal all the skeletons in your closet or have a state of the union speech that puts everything on the line. In other words, don’t over-think it. A simple gesture of kindness will do. From there, you can feel your way out further. It’s all about subtly, but with purpose. Yes, “I like you” will do the trick.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Get what you can and forget the rest. Whatever makes you feel good will be all that matters, and if that means hooking up just for kicks, go for it. It’s every man or woman for himself or herself this week and that is just how the cookie is going to crumble. After all, chips will fall where they may and too bad for the sap who can’t have any control over where they land.

For The Week Of February 15-21, 2010

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Listening to someone go off insanely is not your idea of a fun time. Though, this week you’re going to have to give some compassion to get to the sweet nectar of your baby — he or she will be in control of the emotional strings, like an erratic puppet master. Just go with it, because when all is said and done, you’ll have played your part.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

In the whole scheme of things, you should have a pretty exciting week of romance, friendships and even a few surprise thrills. The catch, though: the timeline of it all will be wacky and unless you maintain a sense of humor and see the picture as a whole, with some character, then all the sublime magic will be lost.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Take a deep breath, because just when you thought your plate was full enough, in comes more piles to expand your life to a new proportion of craziness. Thankfully, this will all be exciting and fun, fully putting you at mover and shaker levels. However, if for any reason you don’t enjoy this, well, then, you have just learned to be careful about what you wish for.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

You have so many talents. Too bad emotional dealings aren’t always one of them. A lot of times you like to see what you want to see. This week, be prudent with deciphering things you hear and the actions you witness. Not all will add up equally, which could lead you to redrawing a game plan. No matter, this might just be what you need to do to score that winning point anyway.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Don’t get caught up on the small things you hear or see, because they’ll only sidetrack you from what really matters and ultimately cause you to sabotage yourself from seeing the obvious. Your life is on a trajectory that should be thrilling and exciting: accept it and love it. Otherwise, being your own cockblocker won’t win you any satisfaction.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Thinking selfishly has its own merits and this is your time to get ahead because of it. The good news is that what is good for you will have effects that trickle down and benefit everyone, so even when you aren’t thinking about it, you are doing good. Just don’t get sidetracked by another’s moaning and complaining — if you stop even once, it’ll kill your momentum.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

There’s no reason to be so shy. The signs are all there and it’s about reading them confidently. Besides, you know what you want and if you don’t make the effort, only you will be to blame. Not to say you have to do all the work, but at the least, send back signals and get the ball rolling. Otherwise, sticking to the status quo will mean a missed opportunity.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Take the time to chill out and play the observer right now. If your honey is being shady as of late, he will eventually mess up on his own when given enough rope. However, don’t be too stuck on seeing something if it’s not there either. This is when your discrimination will count for something; it will enable you to decipher the truth from what you really want to see.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Fantasyland is just a few hours away and it can make you fall in love all over again. All you have to do is plan a last-minute surprise getaway with your baby and top-shelf romance is yours for the taking. If you’re single, this works well for you too; when you hop out of town, you never know whom you’ll meet around the corner of somewhere you’ve never been.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Beware of the powers of a pretty face. Although the picture might seem perfect, everything beneath the surface is far from what it seems. If you even try to tempt this act of fate, you will find yourself falling fast down a slippery slope, which will have you paying a heavy price for being able to look but to never really touch.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Who cares whatever anyone tells you or even what you want to tell yourself, because if you hold back on any of your feelings now, you’ll regret it. Not to say all is finite with your actions, but you’ll have a major opportunity to score some super hot love that is only for now. Although you can opt to sit back and see how it plays out, why wait for lukewarm seconds?

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Your libido will be cranking out the best sex you’ve had to offer in a while. Your brain will be floating at a new level that will make you more creative and inspired than usual. However, there is no need to advertise this, as those who deserve it will magically be in line to reap the rewards. Besides, if it’s not going to happen organically, it shouldn’t happen at all!

For The Week Of February 8-14, 2010

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

You’ll be feeling your honey in a deeper and more pleasing way and it’ll make you want to rearrange your life to make more space for bonding. However, your time is tight, so it will take some innovation and calling in favors. Thankfully, the universe is on your side and if you ask, you shall receive.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

If you take a chance on love, it’ll happen. Dreams, wishes, and all that is fantastical are possible now. All you have to do is trust. Go ahead, let go of the logic and act accordingly, because blind faith will work and leading yourself around by instincts will bring surprises that’ll have you grasping for air and curling your toes in scenarios that’ll confirm destiny is real.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Getting laid this week should be like shooting fish in a barrel. If you are over that phase of tawdry sex, then replace that with having romance, because, as it happens to be, you’ll be in top form. The energy you radiate will magnetize hot ass to you, at your disposal. Yes, you’ll have so many options, who knows when you’ll ever have time to come up for air.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Nobody can tell you what to do, so if you think you should sit back and let that someone bark orders at you and think they can get away with it, make them think again. Put your foot down and start a revolution! Remember, you’re a hot and sexy badass who calls the shots. If they can’t understand that and see it, well, they’ll never know how to appreciate you either.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Not everyone can be an amazing communicator. As much as you’d love to hear certain words that touch the sweetest part of you, forget it. Instead, know you’ll have to read in-between the lines to get to the heart of the situation. The good news is that once you sort it out, you will realize the sweetest part of you can be reached in many different and intriguing ways.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Your mouth will be moving much faster than your brain or your heart, and that can lead you into some compromising positions over this week. However, no matter how ridiculous you may feel at times or how brash the comments that fly from you are, stick with it and go with it. Standing your ground and flexing your power are your hottest moves yet.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Drawing boundaries is necessary this week. There will be people you don’t want to do but who might harass you into feeling compassion, which might trigger you into savior mode. While you know you are smarter than this, when it comes to emotional ambushes, you aren’t the strongest, which means knowing when to hold them and definitely knowing when to fold them.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

We all have something seedy in our past that haunts us, but if you can keep a sense of humor when it reappears, then all is good. So, as a score comes around to be settled this week, prep your armor with apathy. It’s your only mechanism to generate laughter, at least of the false kind. As long as you fake it until you can make it and never let them see you cry, all will be A-OK.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Your popularity will be soaring and that might make that certain someone not so happy — it’ll mean sharing you. While this might irritate you initially, as you will have to stop everything every so often to baby the hell out of that special someone, suck it up. The rewards will come later. At the least, realize this beats dating those emotionally unavailable losers.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

The truth will set you free, so brace yourself as you hear news that might not be music to your ears, but will give you a sense of clarity when it comes to a confusing situation that has been teetering on the fence and making you uncertain of your next steps. Thankfully, this is your week to make that next move and on no uncertain terms.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

The things tickling your fancy this week won’t be obvious. Suddenly, you will realize that you are slowly slipping into an obsession for the oddest of choices. However, not all strains of passion have to be malicious and have you scraping your ego from the bottom of a shoe. So, play back this game and show a little intrigue and lots of skin.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Love is in the air and it’s circling all around you. Seems there’s no stopping you and your boo from going that extra mile now, as you’ve reached a place in your relationship that’ll really prove to you, him and everyone how in sync you two are. Just one warning though, actions speak louder than words; so forget the urge to gloat, as that’ll be the end to your new blissful beginning.

For The Week Of February 1-7, 2010

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

It’s not just about hearing the right things, because words mean nothing without the actions to back them up. So, as you’re being seduced by words that might cause you to lie down and open wide, do think first before making any big jumps. There is nothing wrong with creating a little anticipation and making sure someone is putting his “money” where his mouth wants to be.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

It might feel as if you have to fight circumstance to get to the creamy nougat this week, but consider it all foreplay, as delays will be increasing the drama of your story. Think of this like adding character. And if the finale isn’t as banging as the lead-in, at least you still will have something to talk about, and sometimes that is all one can ask for.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Sorry to say, but expect your aggravation levels to hit a new level of high and your patience to drop to dwarfed levels. However, nothing like hitting rock bottom to bounce you back sky-high. Yes, seems someone knows how to press those buttons of yours in just that way that has even you surprised at how fast your defenses and panties can drop.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

You don’t work well when planning too far ahead, so forget thinking about anything other than the moment. This week, it’s all about spontaneity and flying by the seat of your pants. If you go about romance this way, you’ll be bottomless by the week’s end, with legs flying high in the air. However, who winds up being your co-pilot will be the part that’ll shock you the most.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Some patience is needed. It’ll take a little bit of talking and negotiating to get you and your boo back on the same page. Not to say there’s going to be a big drama, but if you don’t talk it out now, it can escalate. So, nip this baby in the bud and get your minor agitations out on the table — and don’t worry, no matter how tiny this talk, the make-up sex will still be just as big.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

No matter how hard your honey, or whoever is caught on your hook, is pulling you, you’re under no obligation to put in more effort than you feel. After all, this isn’t the time to give mixed signals or try to kid yourself into feeling more than you do or having them think you want to go places you really don’t. Not to say you’re not totally feeling it, but how much is debatable.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

You’re born under one of the most psychic signs of the zodiac; so when you are feeling something strange and you can’t place your finger on it; don’t just sweep it under the rug. Dig further for facts, even if you are scared. A little pain today is a lot less damaging than a snowball of calamity later. Do your homework now; have all the answers later.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

You’ll be in full creeping mode and ready to get a party started, but too bad your friends have turned into blobby homebodies. Never mind, time to work your cheerleading skills and get them out and bouncing about town. If you want any now, you’ll need your friends to help, because judgment will be way too off if left to your own horny devices.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Winter’s harshness is setting in and the last thing you will want to deal with is your libido. Instead, expect all your energies to focus on nesting and career. Sure, you can attempt to get busy and all, but your brain just won’t really trigger that way. However, if your baby needs getting off, a few dirty texts and pics will do the trick.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Your eyes are going to be bigger than your stomach, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to swallow all the excitement anyway. Ambition is a good thing and showing your enthusiasm will put you in a fabulous light with that special someone, even if you don’t have all the power to deliver what you thought. Whatever, he’ll assume it’s you being a tease and it’ll buy you time.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

You’ve never been one to be obvious, but this week, if your boo isn’t getting the messages that you are sending through the intense and hot sex you are giving, then reconsider what you are up against. You do your best communicating through your body and if someone can get you on that level, what are they ever truly going to get? Sex should never be a mute expedition.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

The power of love will be tossing your life into all sorts of odd positions and it’ll feel as if you’re losing footing with yourself — but don’t worry, that just means time to hold on tighter. When one part of your life goes up, another eventually has to go down. It’s physics and it’s happening in your life now. No matter, a little bit of drama won’t hurt, least of all an emotional tank like you.

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