Category Archives: Horoscopes

Friskyscopes are your weekly love horoscopes from your astrosexologist Kiki T.! Learn more about what your astrological sign should expect this week in the dating, relationship, and sex department.

Ask The Astrosexologist: Am I This Sag Guy’s Girlfriend Or Not?

I’m a Gemini who has been in a rocky relationship with a Sagittarius for almost three years. We dated exclusively for six months and then were “dating” for about a year. We broke off our exclusivity after he decided we were done and took off. I didn’t hear from him for months. I started dating a mutual friend of ours. When that rebound relationship ended, since me and my Sagittarius were in the same group of friends, we started hooking up and hanging out again. We have never reinstated our exclusivity, but yet he cannot let the fact that I have been with other people go. We seem to argue about who I’ve been with all the time, and although obviously it bothers him, he still comes around and we usually spend our weekends together.

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In Bed With … Jon Kortajarena

VITAL STATS
Born:
May 19, 1985 in Bilbao, Spain
Sun Sign: Taurus
Ascendant: Unknown
Moon: Taurus
Mercury: Taurus
Venus: Aries
Mars: Gemini

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For The Week Of May 10-16, 2010

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

You won’t have to say much to get your point across right now — whoever has their ears open is just waiting for you to say the word. While you might have some trepidation about opening yourself up right now, what else do you have to lose? Trying to maintain perfection is pointless if it only keeps you isolated.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Mysterious sexy surprises are in store for you now, but it’ll take some flirting with danger to get you on the path to this orgasmic ride to happy land. Yes, not everyone is as they appear. A silent dark horse that has been waiting in the wings will finally strike, and it seems that iron will be quite hot!

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

You can’t run from your feelings anymore! As much as you want to see the imperfections in everyone you meet, then complain about the despair you feel, this vicious cycle is about to end! Yes, a major epiphany about you in relationships is about to hit, and if all goes right, it’ll reverberate in all the right places, hitting at least an 8.9 on the orgasmic Richter scale

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

You’re going to have to take the most practical steps out of your current emotional entanglements. While all might not sit well with your ego, you can’t think about yourself in this situation right now, as it’s about what’s for the greater good and taking in some long-term thinking. Yes, it’s not so sexy, but you’d be surprised what turns you on now.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

You can think about it all you want, but until you begin a process, making conjectures is a waste of time. Besides, as with anything involving your heart, there are always surprises, since you’re not the only one making decisions. However, this time around, do trust there’ll be a cushion for when you make that leap, and it’ll be solid.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Agreeing to disagree is the best conclusion you can make with your baby this week, as your opinions aren’t going to change on a controversial topic. While it’ll make you want to judge each other, what’s the point? Kiss and make up and spend your week using that tension in the best way you can, behind closed doors.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

A halt to your current flirtations may strike suddenly, throwing you into a majorly confused state of mind. While stalls usually should be red flags, this time around make an exception to the rule. Seems bigger stakes are at play and whether to roll the dice now isn’t such a cut-and-dry decision. If you hold tight, that will help put the odds in your favor.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Something cold and hard that’ll make you squeal with delight is in your stars. Yes, it’s what you truly dream of — money! This week, cash is your sex and it’ll be the best release you’ve had in ages, bringing you to a new state of mind that’ll relax and comfort you in a way that’ll seem unnaturally good. As for the boyfriend, he can always watch.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

You’ll finally get some clarity on issues you’ve been having with your honey. Seems all answers will arrive just in time too, giving you that sense of peace you haven’t felt for so long. As for kicking him to the curb or giving it one more try, it’ll be one of those surprises you’ll have to find out for yourself.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

There will be signs all around you that will tell you all you need to know, but it’ll take some objectivity to really see them for what they are instead of what you wish them to be. Sorting through your emotions has never been quite so easy. Help is there for you — if you just open your eyes.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Loving your baby doesn’t have to mean unconditionally accepting everyone also. Yes, there are a few people who aren’t around for your relationship’s best interest and for reasons unknown. However, if you want to fight the fight, it’s time to mean business. And stop trying to kiss up! Instead, take this bull by the horns and be more powerful than others assume you to be.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

You and your baby will be in high demand, as you’ll be elevated to “IT Couple” status among friends, making your schedule go completely out of whack. While it may seem fun in the beginning, you will start to see a certain set of politics occurring within your social circle. Prepare to deal with that bad taste and wield your power to effectively eradicate those issues.

Ask The Astrosexologist: “I’m Pregnant, But He’s Torn Between Me And His Ex!”

I’m an Aquarius in a relationship with a Sagittarius. We’ve been together for about six months. He was married before we got together and separated from his wife just before he got with me. He was also my boss (that’s how we met). At the beginning, he was very happy to be with me, spent time with me, told me he loved me, etc. I love him very much.

However, in January he went a bit funny. It turns out his ex wife had been speaking to him, telling him she loved him and that they should be together and this confused him. He didn’t want to hurt her, but he loves me and wanted to be with me. Anyway, I thought we had sorted this out, but recently he has been doing the same thing again, acting different with me, as though I am just a friend, and acting as if he doesn’t want to talk to me or want me around. This is very hard for me to deal with, as I am six months pregnant, and I want to talk to him. I still love him.

I want to know if this is going to keep happening? Is he going to keep running back to his ex? He says he doesn’t love her or want her, it’s me he loves and I want to believe him, I really do. I just find it hard to trust his word, as he has said all this before. What am I supposed to do? I love him too much to just leave him. Can you help? – C.

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Ask The Astrosexologist: “Can I Convince A Stubborn Taurus To Move?”

I’m a Gemini (Capricorn rising, Scorpio moon) in a long-distance relationship with a Taurus man (5/2/80). We have incredible chemistry and have been together just over a year, six months of which we lived in the same town before I left to pursue a Masters and PhD . He works in my hometown and has lived in the city where I’m studying before, but had a bad experience with an ex, as well as trouble finding work in his field here. He seems to be carrying around a lot of baggage about that period in his life. He says he wants to be with me, just preferably not in this city. I love him, but I really hate the distance — and though I haven’t cheated, I am starting to find being faithful rather difficult.

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For The Week Of May 3-10, 2010

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

When it comes to love, you can’t think with boundaries. Sharing is caring and if you want it to go to the next step, you’re going to have to open yourself up more and give, no matter how scary it might feel. Sometimes placing the bets without caring about the odds is the only way you can play to win.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

Boink this week away. It’s your best time to reignite the sparks with your baby. No matter what your schedule is, clear it. Now is when the hot bed of starry action will be shining down upon you. Trust this little foray into XXX-ville will be so hot it’ll leave you feeling so sexy. Nothing else could compare in confidence-boosting energy.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Trying to be perfect to impress that certain someone will go awry this week, as no one can keep up that kind of façade too long. Plus, it’s just not sexy. So, as things falls apart, putting you into a disturbed state of mind, don’t get caught up in trying to paint on a happy face. Just go with it. Right now it’s showing your vulnerabilities that’ll make so-and-so hot for you.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Get ready for several rounds of petty arguments and little annoyances that’ll make you want to slam-dunk your honey into the garbage disposal and hit mince. To say the least, power struggles will be running rampant, throwing you two on the opposite ends of logic. Thankfully, these will all be small and ridiculous fights but nonetheless aggravating, so prepare!

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

What goes up will go down, as in your week will start off high and end up low — but not necessarily low in a bad way. You’ll just feel wiped and ready to veg. Whatever the case may be, feel free to take some couch potato time with the one you love. Those daily routines this week will be your most romantic.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Domestic issues hit a whole new level, as this week it’ll be about organizing and getting priorities in order, as in getting both of you pulling equal weight or reconsidering what to do next. Seems the crossroads you hit won’t be so easy to solve, as really being honest with yourself and emotions now will be hard to run from.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Communications are going to be messy. So don’t expect to hear anything back quickly and especially don’t say anything that you aren’t 100 percent certain about. There might be no way to avoid mishaps, but there is a way to deter them from going to the extremes. If anything, do play nice all week as best you can.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Self-doubt plagues everyone, but it doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Take this time to look at all your plans and seal them from leaking into failure, by reworking the details. As it goes, a gal like you needs reminders to slow down every so often, and this week, if you do try to go too fast, you will only find dead ends.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

You have arms and legs. It’s time to use them! Who cares if there is confusion in the air that isn’t going away easily? As long as you physically get yourself moving and put the analyzing on the backburner, all will be fine. Yes, hit the town! Dance till dawn! Once you get some festivity into your bones, you’ll be better tuned into the invincibleness in you.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

The past will try to come back to haunt you, but you don’t have to take it lying down. You’ve been through enough to know that whatever resurfaces no longer has a power over you and you don’t owe it anything. As it goes, you’re free – free to love and free to hate whom you want. If it’s the latter, well, time to school them that karma is a bitch.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

If you’re not OK with the condescending comments someone is spewing at you, don’t shrug them off. The bitchiness is there and there is no reason you need to take it. Call the shots, because if you try to sweep this under the rug, it’ll only make you seethe more and kill your buzz, which is the one thing you feel you have going for you right now.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Just as you feel you are taking three steps forward, something will happen to make you feel like you are taking two steps back. But don’t fret! You aren’t; it’s all a state of mind. Let things sink in before making your judgments, because not all will be quite as it seems. In the end it will work out in your favor.

In Bed With … Cristiano Ronaldo

VITAL STATS
Born: February 5, 1985 in Madeira, Portugal
Sun Sign: Aquarius
Ascendant: Unknown
Moon: Leo
Mercury: Aquarius
Venus: Aries
Mars: Aries

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For The Week Of April 26-May 2, 2010

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

If you want that someone to take you seriously, you are going to have to start by sticking to your word. If you’ve set rules then abide by them all the time. No more testing one another out, by throwing baited words out there to see how he reacts and then doing whatever you want. As it goes, right now you aren’t the only one doing some undercover investigating.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

You are about to come onto a major win that’ll make you feel as if you should never doubt yourself again. Yes, good news is on its way, as you will hear back on a long drawn-out situation that has had you thrown around the spectrum of emotions. However, answers you seek aren’t going to be what you presumed. But don’t worry — all will be just as pretty.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

An old habit of yours that you hate will finally get its last hoorah before you put it away forever, to never see the light of day again. You are ready to start anew in some form or fashion, as something from your past will resurface to put the last nail in its coffin and to give you the ability to finally and fully exhale.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

Who cares about tomorrow when you have today? As opportunities pop up suddenly, take them and don’t think twice. Acting spontaneously now will reap the biggest rewards. Taking crazy chances is what truly puts you in your element and in exactly the right light to show that someone who you truly are and all the amazingness that you’ll bring.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Don’t be scared to take advice from strangers — those with the most objective view about your life will have the best insight for you. Not to say you’re a total mess, but sometimes when you get too involved, you dig so deep that you can get too confused to know what’s up from down and, well, that can leave you looking in the wrong direction.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

Don’t be scared to follow love wherever you find it, even in the strangest of places, because as it goes, this week is when things get totally trippy and you’ll find yourself chasing a little dream far out of your comfort zone. Seem the things that once turned you out are no longer doing their job. The intrigue that comes your way now will be just the eye-opener you’re looking for.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Seems a major lesson is on its way and the catharsis it brings will give you a whole new way of seeing that certain someone. Don’t worry, this will improve your life and let you fill in those blanks that you have long wondered about. Seems the stories you tell yourself are way worse than reality, but do pray you don’t get too bored after all is said and done.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Making love, having sex and straight-up f**king are all different categories. If anyone wants to get with you, they need to place in the highest percentile in all areas. However, true champions are hard to come by, as not all can have such versatility. But as the stars align this week, seems that lucky unicorn that can poke and prod his way to the top of you will find his way home.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

Time to make decisions, as the pressure is on. Seems there’ll be more than a few places to rest your weary head this week, and all options will seem to have interesting outcomes. However, there is no having your cake and eating it too, as sands of the hourglass are slipping. This means if you don’t make a choice now, you’ll have none to make later.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

Your charisma will be on and your life-of-the-party self will be ready to take on the world. Yes, a change of attitude will come on suddenly, putting you in a whole new confident mode that will not only set you in a new direction, but also upgrade you to a new standard in love. Just don’t get too picky, as there’ll be several diamonds in the rough.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Who cares what is practical. It’s believing in the fantastical that’ll prove to be the most valuable lesson you can learn, as there is something coming on the horizon that is going to knock your socks and panties off, making you feel as if the world is finally on your side and ready to propel you to a position that always feels good.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Being friends with benefits is a beautiful thing when it starts off. But there is always a line in this situation, and once you cross it, you can’t go back. This week, you will be on that borderline and will have to think about the consequences, as the price to pay for more pleasure is about to hit an all-time high, and with not many more returns.

For The Week Of April 19-25, 2010

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

Love is a twisted psychological game that often makes no sense and, too bad for you, this week it goes up another degree of insanity. What you hear isn’t what you should pay attention to, not to say it has to be bad, but it won’t be correct. To make it through as unscathed as you can, do take it all in with a grain of salt, or the bitterness will be too much to bear.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

When you truly speak your mind, it’s inevitable that you’re going to ruffle some feathers. However, if you don’t start revealing your needs now, you won’t be doing yourself any favors. The result will be you getting the short end of the stick, as a certain prospect won’t know how to fill in your blanks. Steering your fate now requires your words.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

Promises you have made will come back to haunt you. A slip of the mind and a sudden opportunity clash and you need to choose between obligation and desire. Yes, your morals are going to be getting in the way, pressing on all your guilt buttons in a very irritating way. However, do realize being perfect is a thankless job.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

This is your time to slowly start new routines and get more focused. Although you’re better running at maximum levels, this week you need to chill out and get back some perspective. All those ideas you’ve been wanting to set into motion need some more thought before you let them loose, so prepare now and ensure your success later.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

Just because he’s pretty doesn’t mean he’s right. Be wary of getting sucked into something less than ideal with someone who looks the part but can’t truly play that role. As it goes, red flags will be lighting up, so recognize them when they appear. Otherwise, talking yourself out of them now won’t result in a pretty sight later.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)

It’s sexy to disagree — tension will make you hot and bothered with that certain someone. However, as much as you want to break free and not be consumed by these aggravations, you won’t be able to help it, and it’ll be through this weird obsessing that’ll come even stranger passions.

Pisces (February 19 – March 20)

Listening is a skill you’re going to have to pull out and perfect, as reading in-between the lines and mixing in your own intuition properly will be key to unlocking your baby’s babble this week. In other words, it’s once again that unfortunate time when a deluge of passive-aggressive behaviors is coming and it’ll be time to play mommy again.

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

Regret is going to be wrapping your brain into quite a little tizzy, as you have to go forward on matters that didn’t have to be as serious but are so because of actions you set into motion in the past. Yes, drama, but whatever the case, this little nostalgic jaunt will get rid of any “what ifs” that have haunted you and will ultimately set you free.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

This is your time of year and no one should ruin your parade, least of all you. Put all that self-doubt and fear aside, no matter how hard you have to beat it back. Right now you are your own worst enemy, trying to dissect more out of a situation than is there. Seriously, no matter how hard you try to dig, some matters just aren’t that deep.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20)

No matter how easily you see answers, it doesn’t mean everyone else involved is going to have the same clarity. Sorry to say you are going to have to be patient for that someone to get with the program. That’s not to say they’re dumb, but their priorities aren’t the same as yours now. If you want it to sync up, unfortunately it’ll be you who has to do the waiting.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

Be careful what you say and to whom, because not everyone will be accountable for his or her judgment and ability to protect you. If something really is so precious to you, keep it to yourself until you are feeling more secure, because, as of now, airing your vulnerabilities will only lead you to being open for haters to attack and try to destroy.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

Show some graciousness and watch the rewards come on in. While you’re the best at many things, you don’t always have to take home the prize. This week, let losing be your secret; let your baby think he knows better. Although he’ll initially be the only one to actually buy his own heroicness, the epic payback will make you a believer.

Ask The Astrosexologist: Why Do I Want Him If I Don’t Even Really Like Him?

I am an Aquarius and the man in question is an Aries. He has a lot of good qualities and he’s always encouraged his guy friends to treat their women with love and respect. I like him; however, he has yet to take me on a real date. He wants me to come over, but only when his friends aren’t around. He said it would cause too much drama. All he wants to do is have sex. I did once and it wasn’t all it’s cracked up to be, but his kisses are magic.

Anyway, he asked for another chance to show he wants to be my boyfriend, so I said OK. We were going to go out yesterday, but plans changed — we wound up having sex, and then he got a call from his friends asking if he wanted to hang out and asked if I wanted to go. I wasn’t too thrilled, but said maybe. Then he said we’d have to take separate vehicles to avoid suspicion. It’s like he hit it then hit the road.

I can’t carry on a conversation without him trying to initiate sex. In person I just don’t feel connected. Sex feels disjointed too, but what’s messed up is how intensely I want him! What in the world should I do? – Doomed

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