The long cold winter of our discontent has finally started to ease its grip on most of the country. If you live on the East Coast, you’ve most likely been buried in a never-ending pile of snow and frigid weather, seemingly doomed to spend the rest of your life mouldering in your abode, turning as pale and sour as spoiled milk. The past couple of weeks have seen the resurgence of something beautiful — warm weather! Flowers are blooming, the trees are heavy with blossoms, and when you leave work, it’s still light out and the air smells like the promise of short shorts, the beach and exposing your toes — and your winter-hardened heart — to the light. And what’s that in the distance? Ahh yes, a spring fling is on the horizon. Keep reading »
As much as we’d all like to believe we’re smooth operators in the bedroom, sometimes shit happens that can prevent us from being our suavest selves during sex. (Seriously though, literal shit can happen if your partner pulls the unexpected finger-in-the-ass move.) Maybe you got a pube caught in your throat or he’s got a bad case of Gumby dick. You’re not alone. Despite our greatest efforts to pull off all of our romp sessions without a hitch, don’t feel bad: these accidental sex oopsies have undoubtedly happened to all of us. Keep reading »
I have been talking to a guy since February (I’ve known him for over a year). He texts me sweet messages and basically texts me all day long every single day. We have hung out a few times and we did get intimate, as in, we went all the way.
I have asked him what I mean to him but he completely dodged the question yet continues to text me every day. Another issue is that he’s busy almost every single weekend and we don’t see each other too often.
Am I rushing this as we have only been talking for about two months? Should I just keep it cool for a little bit? I don’t want to scare him off, but I don’t know how to proceed. I do like him and can potentially see myself with him. Help! – Nuthin’ But A Text Thing
You’ve been talking for “only” two months? What era do you live in, where two months is NOT a long time? Was your last boyfriend a 19th century squire, wooing you only by pony express mail?
You two have been hanging out way long enough to know the truth: he’s not that interested. I’m sorry. That hurts. But it’s the truth. Keep reading »
A few weeks ago, I abandoned my practice of ruthlessly hunting down a husband like a poacher on the hunt for ivory tusks in favor of focusing on my own personal growth and being the happiest single woman I can be. Since then, I met and have gone on a few dates with a very sweet guy named Andrew, who approached me in a bar one night after having recognized me from OKCupid. When I wrote about my first date with Andrew, feeling triumphant about being able to dismiss one of my dating “dealbreakers,” I was disheartened to see various commenters suggesting that I’m not following through with my declaration of singlehood. Maybe, though, I just need to be more clear about my own, personal definition for “happily single.” Keep reading »
I love dirty talk. I LOVE IT. All of it, even bad dirty talk because bad dirty talk, while awkward in the moment, is funny as hell later. And good dirty talk — whatever you consider that to mean — can make a world of difference when it comes to getting down. Discovering if and how a new partner talks dirty is probably one of my favorite things about hooking up. Sometimes, it’s nothing I haven’t heard before — your standard ‘Ooh baby, you like that?’ — but there have been a number of dirty talking types who have been particularly memorable. In this episode of Funny Girl Sex Guide, I’ll introduce you to just some of the dirty talkin’ types you might encounter during your sexual adventures. Time to talk dirty, you sexy motherfuckers.
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Ahh, spring is in the air! The bees are buzzing, the birds are chirping, the pollen count is so high you can barely see through a haze of yellow dust. What’s not to love? But the best part of springtime, by far, is that it’s the best season to hook up. Why is that, you ask? Let us explain… Keep reading »