So, you’re in your hometown for Thanksgiving break. And you’re already bored … like, super bored. Or you’re out and about, and after three (or seven) Bud Lights at your hometown bar, you’re feeling nostalgic for that old flame. Who knew how handsome the kid who used to pull your hair would get? Why not smooch them a little bit? You’re a grownup — you’re allowed!
Just. Don’t. Don’t do it. Because like most great ideas, you will regret it. Here, heed our words for the five folks NOT to hook up with while you’re home for the holiday. Keep reading »
Ahh, Thanksgiving. A time of turkey, travel, tryptophan, and repeated viewings of “A Christmas Story” surrounded by family. If you’re coupled up in a relationship, you boo is probably in the picture, too, and perhaps-awkwardly negotiating an overnight bedroom situation. Will he be sleeping in your room (read: bed)? Will he be banished to the guest room with veiled threats from your mom that he’d better stay there all night? Did your normally-cool parents suddenly become sexytimes-Nazis? Why the hell is this such a big deal?! You share a bed all the time at your apartment!
Dear reader, I wish I knew. Parental figures can get weird about their kids’ sharing beds over the holidays, even when they know you’ve been dating for a long time … or have been living together for three years. There’s no sense in fighting it, unless you want to make the weekend awkward and put S-E-X on everyone’s mind. Whether he’s joining you and yours for the festivities, or you are joining him and his, here’s how to share a bed at a parents’ house without epic awkwardness. Keep reading »
This is an oldie but a goodie from our girl Simcha. — Editor
Valentine’s Day may be for couples in love, but Halloween is for singles looking to mingle! (Hey, pagans knew how to party.) You definitely don’t want to miss your chance at action so sweet you’ll want to bag it up and give it all away! So, how do you get it done on this hot holiday? Here are five easy steps for hooking up on Halloween…
Keep reading »
Science can explain everything, including that bro in the Red Sox hat chugging Amstel Lights. A study of 363 college students published in the online edition of the journal Sex Roles found that men with sexist attitudes towards women think more favorably of casual sex and tend to pursue “aggressive courtship strategies.” Lucky for them, women who also favor casual sex share these guys’ negative, sexist views towards women. Women with sexist views are also are more likely to respond to “aggressive courtship strategies.” The study’s authors, Jeffrey Hall and Melanie Canterberry of the University of Kansas, concluded this means sexist men and sexist women prefer partners who are like them, which I suppose is a way of saying that men with a low opinion of women have an easier time scoring with women who have low opinions of themselves. I find this sad, but it’s better these two groups date each other than sexist dudes try and pursue me. [USA Today] Keep reading »
As I surveyed real friends, Facebook friends, Twitter friends, and total strangers about having sex on the first date, the unfortunate cow comparison came up no fewer than five times in my first twelve interviews. Everybody complained about it, bemoaning the lack of nuance, the icky imagery, and the overt transactional implications. And yet, it kept rearing it’s ugly little antiquated head. Are there kernels of truth buried there? Is first-date sex a relationship nonstarter? Are we, as we often claim to be, past the era of plastering A’s on each other’s chests? Keep reading »
One of the most frequently asked questions in the world of dating has got to be “If they’re not your significant other, than what the hell are they?” Well, pre-exclusive relationships (or PXRs) don’t have to be a frustrating grey area anymore. Here’s a handy guide to the 9 most common types of PXRs, all converted into abbreviations for easy texting. Keep reading »
So there’s been a lot of talk lately about slut shaming, casual sex, and what exactly defines a girl as “whorey.” Instead of clearing all of that up for you with this post, I’m probably just going to create another grey area, but hey, that’s what life is all about, isn’t it?
So I want to talk to you ladies about one night stands. Casual sex. Hookups. Booty calls. Those guys you sleep with once and probably never see again. The reason I want to talk to you girls about this is because a lot of you are probably cringing right now, recalling your last one night stand, the last time you slept with a guy and then walked home in last night’s clothes, the last time you had casual sex and then felt guilty about it. In fact you’re probably feeling guilty all over again right now. And I want to tell you to stop. Stop cringing. Stop feeling guilty. Stop second guessing and over thinking and feeling bad about yourself. Because you know what? Casual sex is okay. And you know what makes it okay? The fact that you wanted to have casual sex. Read more… Keep reading »
This week’s standout caller on Dan Savage’s “Savage Love” podcast was the kind of guy you hope you never encounter, the kind of dude you hope your son never becomes. This gentleman had recently had sexual relations with a girl in his bed and when she left, he noticed that she had gotten some period blood on his white sheets. He wanted Dan’s opinion on whether it was her responsibility to replace them. The kicker? They were flannel sheets. Not 800-thread count Egyptian cotton. Flannel. Sigh. Keep reading »
Yesterday afternoon, I met up with an old ex-boyfriend for coffee. He’s staunch Catholic who was seriously considering joining the priesthood while we were dating; he has always been a lovely person, albeit more conservative than me. (He also happens to be my token pro-life friend.) I was filling him in on the past few years and months of my life — falling in love
, getting dumped
, moving out
— and how I am growing from it. In the past, I have felt overwhelmed as the caretaker in a relationship, and going forward I would like to be with a stronger, more traditional alpha male type
. I used to be a more casual hang-out-and-hook-up-er before; now I would like to date
with the intention of a serious relationship.
He suggested I check out Kerry Cronin. Kerry Cronin is a professor at Boston College and although she runs a philosophy institute there, she is most well-known for an assignment in one of her classes called the dating assignment. The rules of the dating assignment are as follows: Everyone — male or female — must ask someone else out on a date. They must do it in person or over the phone, but not via text message or email. They have to pay for the date, they have to keep it to only 90 minutes, and the only physical contact at the end of the date can be a brief hug.
You can check out Kerry Cronin’s rules of the first date (or “level one” dating) in the video above and videos on how to transition to “level two” dating and “level three” dating after the jump. Keep reading »