There are many reasons why men don’t necessarily know what women really like in bed. The most important: a lack of access to real information. Movies oversimplify sex by not really showing what happens in the sack, pornography is just, well, pornography, and “Talk Sex With Sue Johanson” is off the air. Aside from that, us ladies are pretty confused as well. Some of us are unaware of what our bodies really like and others don’t want to speak up out of fear that our partner’s feelings will get hurt. So where do men have to turn to get some real info? Well, not too many places. For that reason, The Frisky has compiled this list of essential tips for men to help them be better lovers. This is just a beginners’ guide, so stay tuned for more! Keep reading »
Welcome to our new weekly column Dater XY! Our anonymous MALE dater will be revealing the adventures and misadventures of finding love from a dude’s point of view. Let’s give him a big welcome!
With a high of four degrees and over a foot of snow, the weather was not fit for man nor beast. But I had a date, so off I went into the icy cold. I’d met The Teacher through an online dating site, like so many of us do these days. I had sent her a message to see if she wanted to share a drink, she accepted, and we met at one of my favorite restaurants.
Over dinner, we chatted about the usual first date things: where we were from, how long we’ve been in the city, music we like, if we enjoyed our meals, etc. The more we talked, the more our chemistry grew. Of course, the chemistry could have been the Malbec. But judging by the smiles on our faces, The Teacher and I had something more. After a few hours of flirtatious and witty banter, we paid our check and I walked her to a cab. Our next date was set in two weeks and I was a happy guy. Keep reading »
I know, I know, you’ve all been waiting with bated breath to find out if Scar Twin and I got it on. And BOY, DID WE.
You see, after I quite cathartically wrote to you all about my dilemma last week, it became evident to me that the real reason I wasn’t having sex wasn’t because I felt emotionally unready. My relationship with Scar Twin is going well, has been progressing on all levels, and I feel very confidently that this “thing” we have was (and is) headed in a positive direction. Our chemistry is undeniable, and it was obvious that we were both itching to do the deed. After all, sex is an important part of any relationship, and it’s fair to say we were both ready to see if we were as compatible in the bedroom as we are out of it. I think, underneath all of the questioning was just plain fear of rejection. Once you sleep with someone, you become vulnerable in a way you weren’t before. You’re more invested, and yes, sometimes people become attached. More than anything, I think I worried that becoming even more intimate with Scar Twin would make things hurt even worse if they didn’t work out. But then I realized that I was depriving myself of a healthy, natural thing that could take our relationship to the next step, so I said “fuck it,” and knew what I needed to do. Keep reading »
We’ve all been there. Someone you were hot and heavy with will suddenly disappear, as if wiped from this earth, only to reappear in the form of a typo-laden text message one night while you’re doing a face mask in your sweatpants. Like that mosquito that you try endlessly to kill before going to sleep, this text irks you. Maybe you were bummed about the way things ended, and you’re considering entertaining this missive. Maybe you hate this person forever, but didn’t mind having sex with them and could be persuaded to do it again. Communication these days is so very tricky, but never fear, I am here for you. In this day and age, it can be difficult to figure out what precisely constitutes a booty call, and how exactly you should respond to it. Whatever your situation may be, you’re facing the age old question — is it a booty call or nah? Here are some situations you might find yourself in, along my expert assessment so that you might tackle these situations head on. Keep reading »
I recently came to the conclusion that, when it comes to my love life, I don’t quite yet know what I want. Actually, it’s more that I want a lot of different things, depending on the day, the hour, the minute, and those things are often conflicting. On one hand, I love being single and being able to have sex with whoever I want to (so long as they also want to have sex with me, obviously). The last few years of being single have allowed me to explore different sides to my sexuality through various partners, and I’m much more of a chameleon in bed than I ever thought. On the other hand, I also desire commitment, monogamy and the fun and growth that comes with developing true intimacy with a long-term partner. I have not found that partner yet, so while I remain wide open to meeting him (I identify as straight, in case that wasn’t clear), I’m content to have more casual fun in the meantime. But while I patiently wait for love and get laid when I feel like it, there’s one thing that’s missing, something that I long for far more than a boyfriend to come home to or a hard dick to fuck:
CUDDLING. Keep reading »
In the lifecycle of dating, there’s a black hole smack dab in the middle of “I’m talking to someone” and “He’s my boyfriend,” that I like to call Exclusivity Limbo. I’ve been in that spot before and I’ve detailed my time there, what with the constant questioning, confusion and uncertainty of where things stand. But even though a relationship status may remain undefined, the physical and sexual cravings just continue to escalate. So, in a predicament that could be much worse, I find myself wondering one thing: to bang or not to bang? Keep reading »