By the time I entered my junior year of college, I was convinced that Binghamton University had only three kinds of guys. There were the players. There were the boys who were saving themselves for marriage. And there were the ones who learned about sex from my mother.
A biological anthropologist, my mom taught Intro to Sex and Evolution, which focused on everything from mating systems in the Animal Kingdom to why women go through menopause. Pretty much every student in the life sciences took it. Those who didn’t heard stories of the professor with the sign in her office that read: My biggest fear is that there is no PMS and this is my personality.
Thus, at the age of 19, I could flawlessly explain the mechanics of seahorse sex, but had only a vague notion of how it might work between two humans. I feared getting into an intimate situation only to have word of it get back to her, or worse, hearing her clinical scientific explanation of it in my head. And if a guy ever mentioned sex and my mother in the same sentence, forget about it. Keep reading »
A month and a half ago, I went to France for a week and while I was there, I took a French lover. He was a 24-year-old waiter that I met at the first restaurant I had dinner at and he didn’t speak any English. Don’t judge me (unless it’s for being awesome). I took two years of French in high school; he and I were basically equally as fluent in each other’s native tongue, which is to say, not fucking at all. As a result, we could only communicate in two ways: through the language of love, wink, and with the aid of Google Translate. In honor of Wanderlust 2013, and to encourage you to have your own foreign affair someday, here are seven extremely simple topics my French lover and I were able to discuss thanks to Google Translate. Keep reading »
We’ve all been guilty of it: the middle-of-the-night hookup that was so loud our roommates heard every bit of it. And possibly the neighbors, too. It’s not that we mean to interrupt anyone else’s beauty sleep, of course. It just happened. Er, loudly. But when you reach a certain age — like, say, when you’re old enough to be putting money into a 401K — you really have to cut that out. Your relationship with the person who has the ability who “accidentally” delete your entire TiVo queue depends upon it!
After the jump, eight ways to still have your middle-of-the-night booty call, but do it quietly. Keep reading »
Easter marks the beginning of Spring, and there by the infamous Spring Fling season. While it may seem blasphemous, you can bag a man at church, if you’re subtle. Old peeps just love matchmaking! And what better place to meet a nice guy than in church? Here’s how you can turn Easter in to a real man-feast! Keep reading »
I’m baaaaaack! Did you miss me? In this week’s episode of What We Missed, I break out my Google Translation app in order to discuss the perks of having a major language barrier when romancing someone. For example, you’re forced to really listen to each other. Also, we reflect on the death of Justin Bieber’s hamster, mostly to mourn the downfall of society that such a thing is even a Twitter trending topic and to rail against people (celebs and commoners alike) who adopt/buy animals when they’re not fully prepared to care for them. (Also, I reveal my own crazy super fan past!) And lastly, we chat about recent stats about when women finally go makeup-free in front of new boyfriends. Personally, I go barefaced pretty early, but totally sneak out of bed in the morning to brush my teeth before he wakes up. I put off exposing him to my morning breath for as long as possible! Watch the episode above and share your thoughts on all these stories in the comments!
Traveling to another country is always exciting. This is especially true if you go alone. You’re out there yucking it up solo, living your life and maybe even doing things that you wouldn’t do back home. You are you, but the vacation version of you. And what does the vacation version of you do? Takes a shit ton of chances! Not crazy chances, but rockin’ the boat type of stuff that will make for great stories when you get home.
So if you’re single, out in the world and maybe even in a country where there is a barrier thanks to language, how do you meet someone? Whether you’re looking for a one-night-stand, a fling or maybe something long lasting, you have to be able to get over all that “lost in translation” stuff. It can happen, because as they say, “love is the international language.” Or, to be more honest, straight-up banging actually is. Keep reading »