Once again I was looking at Cosmo, furrowing intensely and wondering where on earth they come up with their nonsense. I do this from time to time because I follow them on Twitter (don’t ask me why.) I also like to give my brow a workout with all the aforementioned furrowing.
In this episode of Cosmo forces Chatel to face-palm, they gathered up some of the lies men tell to get into the pants of the ladies:
You already know men will do anything to get a woman into bed—especially when she’s as awesome as you are. And they’re rarely slick about it. That’s why we asked you to tweet us the biggest doozies you’ve heard from dudes in search of a little nooky. Get ready to LOL at these weak lines. Keep reading »
By the time I entered my junior year of college, I was convinced that Binghamton University had only three kinds of guys. There were the players. There were the boys who were saving themselves for marriage. And there were the ones who learned about sex from my mother.
A biological anthropologist, my mom taught Intro to Sex and Evolution, which focused on everything from mating systems in the Animal Kingdom to why women go through menopause. Pretty much every student in the life sciences took it. Those who didn’t heard stories of the professor with the sign in her office that read: My biggest fear is that there is no PMS and this is my personality.
Thus, at the age of 19, I could flawlessly explain the mechanics of seahorse sex, but had only a vague notion of how it might work between two humans. I feared getting into an intimate situation only to have word of it get back to her, or worse, hearing her clinical scientific explanation of it in my head. And if a guy ever mentioned sex and my mother in the same sentence, forget about it. Keep reading »
A month and a half ago, I went to France for a week and while I was there, I took a French lover. He was a 24-year-old waiter that I met at the first restaurant I had dinner at and he didn’t speak any English. Don’t judge me (unless it’s for being awesome). I took two years of French in high school; he and I were basically equally as fluent in each other’s native tongue, which is to say, not fucking at all. As a result, we could only communicate in two ways: through the language of love, wink, and with the aid of Google Translate. In honor of Wanderlust 2013, and to encourage you to have your own foreign affair someday, here are seven extremely simple topics my French lover and I were able to discuss thanks to Google Translate. Keep reading »
We’ve all been guilty of it: the middle-of-the-night hookup that was so loud our roommates heard every bit of it. And possibly the neighbors, too. It’s not that we mean to interrupt anyone else’s beauty sleep, of course. It just happened. Er, loudly. But when you reach a certain age — like, say, when you’re old enough to be putting money into a 401K — you really have to cut that out. Your relationship with the person who has the ability who “accidentally” delete your entire TiVo queue depends upon it!
After the jump, eight ways to still have your middle-of-the-night booty call, but do it quietly. Keep reading »
Easter marks the beginning of Spring, and there by the infamous Spring Fling season. While it may seem blasphemous, you can bag a man at church, if you’re subtle. Old peeps just love matchmaking! And what better place to meet a nice guy than in church? Here’s how you can turn Easter in to a real man-feast! Keep reading »
I’m baaaaaack! Did you miss me? In this week’s episode of What We Missed, I break out my Google Translation app in order to discuss the perks of having a major language barrier when romancing someone. For example, you’re forced to really listen to each other. Also, we reflect on the death of Justin Bieber’s hamster, mostly to mourn the downfall of society that such a thing is even a Twitter trending topic and to rail against people (celebs and commoners alike) who adopt/buy animals when they’re not fully prepared to care for them. (Also, I reveal my own crazy super fan past!) And lastly, we chat about recent stats about when women finally go makeup-free in front of new boyfriends. Personally, I go barefaced pretty early, but totally sneak out of bed in the morning to brush my teeth before he wakes up. I put off exposing him to my morning breath for as long as possible! Watch the episode above and share your thoughts on all these stories in the comments!