Tag Archives: hooking up

Dear Wendy: “I’m Tired Of Always Feeling Used By Guys”

I am a 21-year-old female college senior who has been physically involved with a guy for about three months. In the beginning, he told me how he thought I was “girlfriend material” and made it seem like he wanted to pursue a relationship, but after a few weeks, it became clear to me that all he wanted from me was sex. I allowed this arrangement to continue, because with my busy class and work schedule, I don’t really have much time for a relationship either. All of a sudden, over the past couple of days, he has completely ignored me, started posting things on Facebook about having had an “epiphany” and realizing what the “true meaning of love is.” I texted him saying that it was OK if he had met someone new or if he just did not want to sleep with me anymore, but that I would have liked to have been made aware of this (reasonable, no?). But alas, he has not responded. I truly am happy for him if he has found someone new, because there really is no future for us, but I feel disrespected. I am also in the place I always find myself after something like this happens: depressed, lonely, and my self-esteem is crushed. Do you have any advice for me as to how I can deal with this kind of situation in the future so that I don’t feel so used? — Used up

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What’s The Most Ridiculous Post-Sex Request You’ve Ever Received?

This week’s standout caller on Dan Savage’s “Savage Love” podcast was the kind of guy you hope you never encounter, the kind of dude you hope your son never becomes. This gentleman had recently had sexual relations with a girl in his bed and when she left, he noticed that she had gotten some period blood on his white sheets. He wanted Dan’s opinion on whether it was her responsibility to replace them. The kicker? They were flannel sheets. Not 800-thread count Egyptian cotton. Flannel. Sigh. Keep reading »

Do We All Need To Learn How To Date?


Yesterday afternoon, I met up with an old ex-boyfriend for coffee. He’s staunch Catholic who was seriously considering joining the priesthood while we were dating; he has always been a lovely person, albeit more conservative than me. (He also happens to be my token pro-life friend.) I was filling him in on the past few years and months of my life — falling in love, getting dumped, moving out — and how I am growing from it. In the past, I have felt overwhelmed as the caretaker in a relationship, and going forward I would like to be with a stronger, more traditional alpha male type. I used to be a more casual hang-out-and-hook-up-er before; now I would like to date with the intention of a serious relationship.

He suggested I check out Kerry Cronin. Kerry Cronin is a professor at Boston College and although she runs a philosophy institute there, she is most well-known for an assignment in one of her classes called the dating assignment. The rules of the dating assignment are as follows: Everyone — male or female — must ask someone else out on a date. They must do it in person or over the phone, but not via text message or email. They have to pay for the date, they have to keep it to only 90 minutes, and the only physical contact at the end of the date can be a brief hug.

You can check out Kerry Cronin’s rules of the first date (or “level one” dating) in the video above and videos on how to transition to “level two” dating and “level three” dating after the jump. Keep reading »

Poll: What’s The Most Annoying Type Of PDA?

What's The Most Annoying Type Of PDA?

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The Evolution Of Men’s Underwear

For the first decade of my sexually active life, every guy I encountered wore boxer shorts. The pattern varied—sometimes stripes, sometimes plaid, sometimes something surprising like rubber duckies—as did the elasticity of the waistband. But I could be sure that when a guy’s pants came off, I would find boxers underneath.

But over the last few years, I’ve noticed an evolution in men’s underwear choices. Keep reading »

Dear Wendy: “I’m Stressed That My Boyfriend Smokes Pot”

I met a wonderful guy a little over a year ago and we started dating casually and taking things very slow. During that time I discovered that he occasionally smokes pot. I didn’t catch him doing it nor have I ever seen any paraphernalia anywhere — I just heard some stories through a mutual friend. When I found this out, I sat down with him and told him that our relationship would never get any more serious than what it was because I can’t be with someone who does illegal drugs (even occasionally) not only because of my job but because of my own values. This is not something I want to be part of my lifestyle and is pretty much a dealbreaker for me. I’m not trying to change anyone — I’m just acknowledging that our lifestyles are different and won’t work together. He took the news surprisingly well and told me that he was thinking about quitting anyway and didn’t want to lose a chance at something serious with me because of something he shouldn’t be doing anyway. I was and still am extremely skeptical, but we continued to date casually and take things very slow. Now our relationship is starting to progress into something more serious and I’m getting more paranoid. I can’t help but feel that he is still smoking pot when I’m not around even though he has given me absolutely no reason to feel this way. I’m starting to feel like I’m waiting for him or one of his friends to slip up rather than just trusting him and enjoying our relationship. Should I express my feelings about this to him or should I just trust him and wait it out? — Weed Killer

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How To Pop Your Cork On New Year’s Eve

Getting laid on New Year’s Eve is like shooting fish in a barrel … a barrel full of alcohol. So, if you want to put the lick in liquor this New Year’s Eve, here are our tips for getting frisky … Keep reading »

How To Get Your Stocking Stuffed On Christmas

Holiday Party Hookups
There are lots of good reasons NOT to hookup at the holiday party. Read More »
Single For The Holidays?
How to survive. Read More »
Santa Sex
These sex acts are inspired by St. Nick. Read More »

Every time a bell rings an angel gets its wings. So it’s your civic duty to get someone to ring your bell on Christmas! Hooking up on the holiday is one part finesse, one part alcohol, and one part restraining yourself from stuffing your face. But it is possible to make babies on Jesus’ B-Day, no matter your religion. Here’s how you can be naughty on Christmas Eve and Day …

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Are You More Willing To Have A One-Night Stand On New Year’s Eve?

I’ve had a few one-night stands in my life. Don’t look so surprised! But I have never had a one-night stand on New Year’s Eve, which, according to a study conducted by “intimacy” products manufacturer Wet (creative naming!), is the night the majority of women would have one. According to the study, 33 percent of women surveyed said they’d be more likely to have a one-nighter on New Year’s Eve than any other day. But why? Is it because they’re feeling more horny as the clock ticks down to midnight? More depressed and looking to soak up their sadness in the warm embrace of a stranger? More, well, drunk? Though I’ve never had a one-night stand on New Year’s Eve, I can’t write the holiday off as a total dud for my sex and love life — I met my ex-fiance at a New Year’s Eve party and we got engaged on New Year’s Eve four years later. If only he could have waited three and a half more months to dump me — we could have made New Year’s our break-up anniversary too! Ahh, well.

So, what about you, Frisky readers — whether you’ve had a one-night stand(s) before or not, would you be most likely to have one on New Year’s? Have you? [Wet via Lemondrop] Keep reading »

6 Dating Resolutions For 2011

The end of 2010 is but a few days away and I’m doing some reflecting on what the last year has been like for my love life. I didn’t have a boyfriend. The longest I dated someone was for, oh, a month and a half. I had some sex. I had some more sex. I online dated. I finally, finally scored with not one, but TWO people whom I had crushed on for years. All in all, Amelia’s year in hookups was a grand old time — and I also learned what I DON’T want to do in 2011. Keep reading »

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