For a long time, eyebrow-arching and pearl-clutching over “hookup culture” has focused on young women: they will feel used by young men and come to believe they can only derive value in themselves from their sexuality. Such concerns have been roundly and fairly criticizing as portraying young women as victims lacking in agency, or worse, in need of a paternalistic watchful eye.
There has been less of a focus on how hookup culture affects young men. According to a piece by the usually-spot-on journalist Abigail Pesta, writing for NBCnews.com, there is “an increasing confusion among boys about how to behave” and experts say “boys who engage in this kind of sexualized behavior say they have no intention to be hostile or demeaning — precisely the opposite. While they admit they are pushing limits, they also think they are simply courting.”
Oh dear. Keep reading »
The University of Connecticut officially banned any romantic relationships between students and faculty Wednesday under their “Policy Against Discrimination, Harassment and Inappropriate Romantic Relationships.” While undergrad relationships with faculty are completely banned, graduate student romances are forbidden only when a faculty member is in a position of power over the student.
Keep reading »
The things on my personal life bucket list — skydiving, a hot air balloon ride at sunrise, swimming with and/or near a manatee, a glimpse of Beyonce casually pushing Blue Ivy on a swing set in Brooklyn — are all perfectly reasonable, potentially feasible and not entirely out of the realm of possibility. I love having attainable goals, so why not apply the same concept to the wild and wonderful world of sexy times? Use this as a guide, inspired by the hilarious new movie “The To Do List,” starring the fantastic Aubrey Plaza, as a list of gentle suggestions and possibilities. It’s summer, it’s hot and no one’s wearing much clothing anyway — embrace it! For your consideration, I present the top 15 people, places and positions on our sexual to-do list. Keep reading »
We’ve all had that moment (or many moments) in our love lives when we knew a guy was awful, like, say, when he told us he had to chew gum all the time because of his halitosis and rotten wisdom teeth, but we continued to let him put his tongue in our mouth for far too long after that. Not that any of us have done that. OK, maybe we have. What’s really intriguing about this phenomenon is how, when presented with this odd behavior or its equivalent in a friendship or any other situation in the entire world that doesn’t involve hooking up, we’d be out of there so fast. But there is an aura surrounding sex that makes us just be, like, whatever, and pull the wool over our own eyes. And once you’ve come out of the fog of denial, you’re left with a special kind of shame. Today, we unload that shame (well, anonymously) and admit that we were pulling the wool over our eyes with these guys. Consider these cautionary tales… Keep reading »
Here’s the scenario: You’re out with the gals and one of them is smack dab in the middle of a dating crisis. One of your friends offers the group what she thinks is stellar advice on men and you’re left thinking, “Jeez, is that really what men want?”
So many of us grow up being told lies about what men want in a relationship and what men are looking for in a wife. These lies are so rampant that I get questions everyday in my inbox asking me advice based on these lies: How do I make him think I don’t like him so that he wants me? How do I act more “chill” like his friend, so that he enjoys hanging out with me? How do I pretend I’m not mad at him when I feel so angry inside? Read more on Your Tango…
Wedding season is kind of the best. I gladly welcome any excuse to put on a fancy dress, throw on some lipstick and toast the merry union of two souls, united in common interests, rooted in love. Weddings exist on a plane where everything is heightened, cast in a rosy glow fueled by champagne and cake and the joy of others. Every song is your song, in every conversation you are charming and witty, and, after a while, everyone — and I mean everyone — looks like a prime candidate for a clandestine makeout sesh over in the corner by the photo booth. Before you slink over to the target in your crosshairs, check yourself. Let us help you. Follow this guide, and you should be golden. Keep reading »