Dear Loud Sneezer In My Office,
How are you? Good, I hope. I just wanted to bring something to your attention. Every time you sneeze, the air is momentarily sucked out of the office, and we are swallowed into your black hole of sound. Okay, so the “office” is a coffee shop and you and I just happen to use it every day as our home away from home; you’re doing whatever — a screenplay maybe? — while I’m plugging away on my freelance writing gigs. Or I’m trying to — but that SNEEZING! It’s so loud, my nervous system stops. I am startled to the point of duck and cover. When 99.9 percent of people in the world sneeze, I say “bless you” and move on with my life. But when you sneeze, I involuntarily shout out the word “NO!” Intellectually, I understand that you are performing a natural bodily function, but irrationally, I don’t understand. I say “NO!” because I am in shock. In shock that a human sneeze could be that loud. I’ve tried putting my headphones on, listening to Queen at top volume. I still hear you. Your bark sneezes cut through the noise like a sonic boom. There is only one solution, Loud Sneezer: You must lower the volume of your sneezes. (Or I must find another coffee shop/office to work, but really, I’d rather not. The scones here are good.) Keep reading »
Idaho’s state senate may vote as early as today on a bill that will force women to get a medically unnecessary ultrasound before terminating an unwanted pregnancy. Anti-abortion activists say forcing a woman to have an ultrasound gives her “more information” before an abortion. Pro-choice activists and doctors say this is just another a tactic to restrict middle- and low-income women’s access to abortion, as the additional cost can be prohibitively expensive for women who already may be struggling to pay to end an unwanted pregnancy.
And guess who would love to jump in and “help” with that financial conundrum? Idaho’s so-called “crisis pregnancy centers,” which offer free ultrasounds to women but are staffed by anti-abortion activists — not actual doctors! — who will do everything, including lie to women, to stop them from terminating a pregnancy. Several cities around the country have actually passed legislation to thwart CPCs from misleading women.
So, to recap: Idaho women would be forced by law to have an ultrasound and if they cannot afford that ultrasound, the only place they could get one for free would be from anti-abortion activists.
Let’s have a big round of applause for women’s health care in America, everybody!
Keep reading »
This is what I looked like yesterday in the office, my head ensconced in a scarf, attempting to cradle it slightly from the outside world and at least partially keep the bright light, noise and throbbing pain that is my migraine at bay. Oh, yes, my migraine. The twice or thrice monthly (at least) headache I suffer from that makes me want to d-i-e. It is large, and it is in charge.
Keep reading »
Important news about your vagina: the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists says that instead of annual Pap smears, you can now get screened for cervical cancer every three years. ACOG has actually been saying for awhile that women don’t need annual Pap smears, but this recommendation was finally put in writing yesterday by the United States Preventative Task Force and the American Cancer Society.
So, why have the recommendations changed? Keep reading »
Another day, another new height reached in WTF-ery: New Hampshire’s state House has advanced a bill that would require doctors to give women “informational materials” before an abortion that “that inform the pregnant woman that there is a direct link between abortion and breast cancer.” Even though there isn’t.
This scare tactic just doesn’t go away, does it? Excuse me while I facepalm for the next three hours. Keep reading »
Ridiculously sensational headlines like “$1 Abortions in ObamaCare” and “ObamaCare: Home of the $1 Abortions” are what’s buzzing at the pro-life water cooler today. These headlines would have you believe that under the President’s health care reform, taxpayer funding will pay for abortions that cost just a buck. Keep reading »
Mitt Romney must think low-income women don’t really need breast exams. And those Pap smears that could detect cervical cancer? So frivolous! Surely that’s the only thing the GOP frontrunner could have meant when he told folks in Missouri he would “get rid of” Planned Parenthood, as well as a number of other programs, to reduce the debt. “The test is pretty simple. Is the program so critical, it’s worth borrowing money from China to pay for it?” Romney said. “And on that basis of course you get rid of Obamacare, that’s the easy one. Planned Parenthood, we’re going to get rid of that. The subsidy for Amtrak, I’d eliminate that. The National Endowment for the Arts, the National Endowment for the Humanities.” Keep reading »
As the number of couples walking down the aisle dwindles, science suggests that our generation may be missing out on marriage’s “healing powers.” A study published by the Journal of Health and Social Behavior reveals that adults who’ve tied the knot have a better survival rate after heart surgery. According to Ellen Idler, a sociologist at Emory University, married people are three times more likely than singletons to survive coronary bypass surgery during the first three months and are half as likely to die in the years following. Even if the single patients survived the first three months of recovery, they were 70 percent more likely to die during the next five years. Keep reading »