Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) is a combination of physical and emotional symptoms including bloating, cramps, headache, and mood swings that occurs consistently during the ten days prior to the start of menstrual flow and vanishes either shortly before or shortly thereafter. In other words, it’s what I like to call Hell Week, and that’s a drastic understatement.
In addition to the aforementioned typical symptoms, I also experience extreme fatigue, intense food cravings, insatiable hunger, unpredictable bouts of crying, and sporadic emotional meltdowns that often result in reevaluation of every major and minor life decision I’ve ever made. As I sit on the couch drowning Oreos in gallons of milk and contemplating joining the Peace Corps, it’s hard to remember these symptoms are just temporary. One Hell Week left me with a visceral hatred for my husband after he flushed my Oreos down the toilet. In retrospect, I can’t blame him. He watched in absolute horror and disgust as I shoved whole cookies, two at a time, into my mouth leaving crumbs all over my face and chest in a futile attempt to eat my fabricated pain away. He likened me to a crack fiend, so flushing the cookies down the toilet was probably a necessary intervention. Keep reading »
Half the office is down with a nasty cold this week, me among them. I’ve been laid up for the past couple of days, and can’t remember what the outside world looks like (kidding! Not really). We imagine some of you are also experiencing your first or fifth cold of the season, so we’ve cataloged the 10 horrible stages of a virulent winter sickness. Share your extra stages in the comments, please. Keep reading »
Women with the most severe forms of endometriosis are seen as more attractive than those with mild forms or no form of the disease, according to a new study conducted by Dr. Paolo Vercellini, an obstetrician and gynecologist at Universita degli Studi in Milan.
Endometriosis is problem with a woman’s uterus in which the tissue that grows on the inside of her uterine lining also grows on the outside, sometimes covering the ovaries, intestines or other organs within the body. It causes abnormal bleeding and can make it difficult for some women to conceive.
What does endo have to do with attractiveness, though? Keep reading »
Clothing mannequins are weird whichever way you spin it ― they’re headless! They’re probably watching you! ― but they’re something of a necessary evil in retail to display how featured articles of clothing hang on, well, a human body. Unfortunately, this “human body” is usually a pretty terrible representation of not only how the clothing looks on, but also an actual human body. Maybe a select demographic of those shopping at any given store have those kinds of dimensions, but the fact is that the vast majority of people don’t. You might know this already, but human beings come in all shapes and sizes, so the concept of a plus-sized mannequin in a plus-sized store has the potential to be a positive development. If it’s done correctly, that is. Keep reading »
At first I thought there were pimples on my vagina. That was when they were only hard, tiny lumps. I noticed them when I was in the ladies room at work. The next time I went in the bathroom, they were much, much bigger, and I started to get worried. And was it just me, or were they really starting to hurt? By the time I went home they were so painful I couldn’t sit down. I started to think that somehow, this meant I was going to die. This had never happened before but I, ever the optimist, went to bed sure my vagina would be back to its old, sexy self when I awoke the next morn.
It wasn’t. The bumps were larger and even more painful, and examining my naked body that morning, I was sure that, for the first time, I was seeing what a really pissed-off vagina looked like. She was screaming at me, she was aching and tired and red and troubled. When I discovered I couldn’t even wear pants, I called the doctor and they told me they could squeeze me in two days later. (Here is the part of the story when you learn an unfortunate character trait of mine that will come up several times in this story — I am a truth avoider/denier.) I didn’t want to be pushy or impose, either (I am from Ohio, if that explains anything). So, I accepted my appointment and lived the next two days enduring an increasingly excruciating pain in my crotch. Keep reading »
Birth control pills should be available over the counter without a prescription, the American College Of Obstetricians and Gynecologists recommended yesterday. Keep reading »
A young dentist named Savita Halappanavar died last month in Ireland because University Hospital Galway repeatedly refused to perform an abortion. Doctors would not terminate the clearly-failing pregnancy while she was undergoing a painful miscarriage because the fetal heartbeat was still present. Her fetus was eventually removed from her body when the heartbeat stopped, but not after she suffered over three days in pain. After her liver, heart and kidneys slowed and were barely functioning, Halappanavar died at age 31 of septicemia (blood poisoning) and E.coli ESBL. Keep reading »
With more than a third of Americans classified as obese, everyone from first lady Michelle Obama to TV news anchor Katie Couric is advocating exercise to maintain a healthy weight.
That’s great, says Dr. Eudene Harry, author of “Live Younger in 8 Simple Steps,” but the benefits of exercise go far beyond fitting into those skinny jeans. In fact, they extend to everything from your complexion to your mood to your digestive health.
To get you motivated to break a sweat, Dr. Harry has revealed five major (but less publicized) benefits of exercise. Read more…
As much as I love to rock out in my car and throw my hands in the air like I just don’t care at concerts, I’ve always operated under the assumption that I can’t dance. I have vaguely fond memories of a brief stint in ballet as a preschooler, but the only other dance experience I’ve had was a tap class in junior high. It took place in a barn (gotta love small towns) and the teacher spent the entire time mocking my technique and trying to get me to join her church’s youth group. I quit after one class, and never really danced again.
That all changed this weekend. My best friend, who also happens to be a dance teacher, put on an introductory dance workshop for people just like me, so I went, and I danced, and I absolutely loved it. Here are six reasons I’m itching to take another dance class, and why I think you should join me… Keep reading »
Dear My Period On The Occasion Of Coming Early,
You’ve been arriving like clockwork for 15 years. I was never a woman that had a problem with you coming a few days late. You always showed the telltale signs: I’d feel bloated, I’d want to eat junk, and I’d be weepy. But I didn’t put the pieces together last week, when the following incidents occurred:
- All I wanted to listen to on Spotify were Disney songs.
- I only wanted to eat potato chips and onion dip for dinner on Wednesday night …
- … and then I randomly got super-horny afterwards.
- On Thursday, I started crying in the office, which I have never, ever done before …
- … and then I felt so bloated and puffy in my stockings that Ami had to snip the elastic on top for me.
But Friday morning when I woke up and saw you ruined a pair of panties in the night, I finally understood: you came early. YOU BASTARD. Keep reading »