• Guys

Hump Day Hottie: “Warm Bodies” Star Nicholas Hoult Has Us Hot All Over

The cold winter months have arrived, which means it’s time to heat things up. Our new newsletter, Hump Day Hotties, will bring our favorite eye candy directly into your inbox every Wednesday. (Subscribe here!) Feel free to drool. We won’t judge.

Nicholas Hoult’s screen career began when he played the wee moppet that Hugh Grant befriends in “About A Boy.” We filed him away in our Adorable Children File and forgot about him. And then several years later, Hoult reappeared, as scummy-sexy Tony in the UK version of “Skins” and we were smitten with his Legally-Actually-An-Adult Hotness (he’s 23!). Since then, he’s appeared in films like “A Single Man” and “X-Men: First Class,” and snagged a hot girlfriend you may have heard of … Jennifer Lawrence (though the pair just recently split up). Keep reading »

Hottie: Jason Clarke
The "Zero Dark Thirty" star could torture us with kisses any time. Read More »

Break Time: Let’s Ogle Some Bearded Hotties!

Jessica may be grossed out by beards, but she’s not invited to this furry party over at theBERRY anyway. I am, and you all our my plus one. Put up your Away message on GChat and check out all 30 random hotties sporting facial fuzz here...

The Real Reason Men Stopped Wearing High Heels

Mirror Mirror: High Heels
Kate contemplates really high heels. Read More »
Comfy Heels?
Do they exist? Read More »

A recent episode of the BBC’s “The Why Factor” explored the history of high heels. Of interest is the background of men wearing high heels, which they originally wore as a form of riding footwear.

“Good horsemanship was essential to the fighting styles of Persia – the historical name for modern-day Iran …When the soldier stood up in his stirrups, the heel helped him to secure his stance so that he could shoot his bow and arrow more effectively,” said Elizabeth Semmelhack of the Bata Shoe Museum in Toronto.

I’m so enjoying the visual of a man on horse in stilettos. From there, interest in Persian fashion spread to Western Europe where the high heel became a way for men to flaunt their status. The more impractical the footwear, the more privilege it displayed. The higher a man’s heel, the less distance he had to walk. After the jump, find out what put an end to men hobbling around in heels. Keep reading »

Joaquin Phoenix: Would You Still Hit It?

Oh Joaquin Phoenix. How you’re still such an important part of my entertainment life. Even when you said “bye! Good” to us, I never stopped loving you. Even when you embarked on a drunken “rap career,” I maintained my adoration. Throughout everything—any by “everything,” I mean the “massive fleecing you put over on all of us boned us with“—I stood by you, because you’re one of my main men.

This new look, though. This baggedy, raggedy sheepdog look you’ve got going on, dude: it is not flattering. Can I take you for a walk somewhere real quick-like? Can we journey on a trip down memory lane? Because for real, this is how I love my Joaquin. Read more…

Nerd Girl Porn: Hot Guys With Banjos

I got my boyfriend a banjo for Christmas, partly because he really wanted one, and mostly because I think there’s nothing sexier than a man playing the banjo. If you share my love for banjo players, you’ll probably want to keep on clicking to see 16 gorgeous guys (both famous and non-famous) picking on their 5-strings…

We’re Breaking Up: Drunk Guy Who Had Sex With A Snowman And Got Frostbite

Be My BF: Cat Hater
He wants to eradicate all cats to save the birds. Read More »
Be My BF: Vacuum Wanker
He jumped on a roof, emptied a vacuum,masturbated and pooped in a stranger's house. Read More »
Be My BF: Outsourcer
He outsourced his job so he could watch animal videos all day. Read More »

Dear Kenneth Guillespie,

I hate to be the one to say this to you, but it’s time to get sober, buddy. You probably already know this, but it seems like you’ve finally hit “bottom” as they say. You were found half-naked, screaming in agony after attempting to have sex with a snowman. Kenneth, let’s be real here — you almost lost your dick. If you put your penis in a snowman, you’re going to get frostbite. That’s how it works. But I’m sure you weren’t thinking clearly. Because you were wasted. (The neighbors found a pile of empties near the snowman carnage.) Keep reading »

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Plays The Alcordion

Be My BF: Gassy Chef
Congratulations on farting on all of your employees, sexy! Read More »
Be My BF: Heavy Metal
He gets disability for his heavy metal addiction. Read More »
Be My BF: Long Word
This guy spent 3.5 hours pronouncing a word. Read More »
He can drink, sing, and play at the same time!

Dear Ivan Zamotaev,

I’ve always had a thing for men who play accordions, so when you walked onto the “Russia’s Got Talent” stage and debuted your talent–playing a fascinating instrument called an “alcordion”–I was immediately intrigued. And then I found out that the “alcordion” is just an alcoholic accordion, with a bottle of vodka and a glass attached to it so you can pour yourself shots and knock ‘em back without skipping a beat, and I was totally smitten.

Maybe next time you can play me a tune?

xoxo
Winona

[YouTube via Neatorama]

Hump Day Hottie: Jason Clarke From “Zero Dark Thirty”

Last night, I sat down to watch “Zero Dark Thirty,” the Oscar-nominated film about the U.S. military operation that killed Osama bin Laden. I was prepared to have mixed feelings about the movie; while everything I’d read suggested that it was fantastic filmmaking, the movie has also been criticized for being inaccurate and, ostensibly, pro-torture. However, I was not prepared to pop such a serious girl boner for so many of the dudes in the film. Yes, yes, the movie, in my opinion, totally leaves the viewer with the impression that information gathered from tortured detainees contributed to the CIA finding OBL and killing him, but the movie also left me with the impression that I’d like to some naughty things of my own to actor Jason Clarke… Keep reading »

Hottie: Taylor Kinney
The "Chicago Fire" heartthrob --and Lady Gaga's BF -- makes us hot. Read More »

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Wants To Eradicate All Cats To Save The Birds

No Cats, Please
Ami won't date a man with a pet cat. Read More »
Be My BF: Cat Helicopter
This guy turned his dead cat into a helicopter. Whoa. Read More »
Cat Love
20 reasons it's better to share your bed with a cat than with a man. Read More »

Dear Gareth Morgan,

I’ll bet you are getting a lot of hate mail right now. I know that there are going to be a lot of people out there who think you are a heartless monster for your efforts to eradicate New Zealand’s cat population. (Actually, I’ll probably get hate mail for even writing you this note. My co-workers might disown me. I might need to start wearing a disguise to work!)

Your blog, CatsToGo, takes a tough stand against felines: “That little ball of fluff you own is a natural born killer.” Whoa. That’s serious. You go on to suggest that cat owners can either euthanize their cats or neuter them and replace them when they die. That’s harsh, Gareth, even for someone who doesn’t care for the little natural born killers. (Me!) Keep reading »

Watch This: Men Find Out What Childbirth Feels Like

Just breathe through it, buddy!

In the latest experiment for their show “Guinea Pigs,” Dutch TV hosts Dennis Storm and Valerio Zeno were hooked up to an electro-simulator that mimics the painful contractions women experience during labor. The video is in Dutch, but around the 7-minute mark, it becomes very clear that agony is a universal language. Apparently the guys underwent two hours of simulated contractions, which is significantly less time than the 6-12 hours (and beyond!) that many women spend in labor. Also? I’d imagine the whole process is a bit less harrowing without the whole “pushing a watermelon-sized human out of your crotch” part. Mothers, give yourselves a pat on the back. You deserve it. [YouTube via Truth Dig]