Category Archives: Guys

Are you a woman wondering what men think or a man seeking some female relationship advice? Read our collection of honest essays and advice on dating, relationships, and sex.

5 Clues That His Hipster Beard Is Fake, Fake, Fake!

Breaking news: According to The New York Postall those sexy, mountain man beards you’ve seen parading around the trendiest parts of Brooklyn, Portland, Nashville, Austin and the like, are — GASP! – fake, fake fake. Plastic surgeon Dr. Jeffrey Epstein, who performs facial hair transplants for $8,500 a pop says that his beard-enhancing services have increased markedly in recent years He’s gone from performing a handful a year to three a week!

“Brooklyn is probably the nucleus of the trend, it’s the hipster ‘look’ guys want. If you have a spotty beard, and you let it grow out, it looks sloppy, clients want full beards because it’s a masculine look. Beards are an important male identifier,” Epstein explained. Keep reading »

Ask A Married Guy: “Why Is My Boyfriend So … In-Between?”

Commitment Kryptonite?
Ask A Married Guy: "Am I Destined To Be Kryptonite For Commitment?"
Tom has advice for a woman whose relationships don't last. Read More »
Married Guy: Brazilians
ask a married guy
A reader asks: Should I get a Brazilian wax? Read More »
Married Guy: Players
Ask A Married Guy: "Did I Just Get Played By The Player-Of-All-Players?"
"Did I just get played by the player of all players?!" Read More »
Ask A Married Guy: "Why Is My Boyfriend So ... In-Between?"

I’ve been dating a guy for seven months. He’s in the middle of an easy divorce (no kids, no assets). I’m going through a divorce too (I have kids). We were head over heels for each other in the first few months. He had no issues with me having kids. He would always ask to see me, and we did tons of fun stuff together. I had a toothbrush at his house, and even had dinners with his parents. Great, right? But in the past few weeks, he’s distant, not making an effort to see me. He makes excuses about work, and when I ask him about it he says I’m overreacting, that sometimes life gets in the way and there’s nothing wrong with our relationship. I’ve been making all the effort, rearranging my schedule to spend time with him, and he doesn’t seem to appreciate it. He has a very lax, “ehhh I’ll see you when I see you” attitude. He says he’s not looking to remarry any time soon and I’m honestly not either, but there has to be an in-between phase, right? We can be in a relationship and take it easy, but I don’t get the 180-degree change in behavior. Why is he so in-between? – Danielle

It could be a lot of things. He could be dealing with a lot of pain. Maybe he’s not that into you anymore. Or he could in truth, be really busy with work and life and all that complicated stuff. But here’s the point: IT DOESN’T MATTER. His deal is his deal. Focus on yourself. Keep reading »

#OnlineDatingFail: Your First Message Shouldn’t Be About Panties

Online Dating Fail

The online dating scene is rough. Sure, it’s a great way to meet people, but we use the term “people” loosely, as some of the individuals we’ve come in contact with still seem to be in their primitive forms. Obviously, first impressions count … but not to these idiots. 

Sender: 34, Male

Receiver: 26, Female

Site: OKCupid

Tip: Asking someone what kind of panties they’re wearing is not an appropriate greeting, unless you are messaging a hooker. Keep reading »

15 Ridiculous Sexual Things Guys Actually Believe Women Do When They’re Not Around

Even the most rational men harbor irrational fantasies about what women do when they’re alone. We can blame porn for making them think we fondle each other’s boobs at slumber parties and high school urban legends for giving them the cockamamie idea that we’d let a dog eat JIF out of our vagina. Come on, now. Seriously? Guys, once and for all, we’d like to confirm that we have never and will never share our sex toys with each other, so you can just let that sweet lil’ image go. Here are some more things that we don’t do when you’re not there. We promise… Keep reading »

For All Of Your Gutter Cleaning Needs, I Probably Wouldn’t Call LaborPanes

I love a good pun. In fact, just last night I was watching “Modern Family,” and smiled the widest of smiles when Cam had to choose between his two favorite flower shops, Floral And Hardy and Florist Gump. (Fun Fact: They’re both actual florists.) Cute, right?

Then I signed on Facebook this morning, only to see that a friend of mine, who lives in South Carolina, posted this photo of a truck she saw advertising a business called LaborPanes. No, LaborPanes is not a company of mobile midwives or OB-GYNs. According to the truck, LaborPanes specializes in window cleaning, pressure washing, dryer vent cleaning and gutter cleaning and repair.

Here are my thoughts (in no particular order) about this business name… Keep reading »

Dumplings, Baby Thighs, & Sweetbreads: Re-Naming 10 Of The Most Underrated Male Body Parts

The penis, the lips, the eyes, the ass, and the rippling torsos are just a few male body parts that we’re supposed to be attracted to. And we are. Wildly. But there are other lesser known, lesser worshipped body parts that deserve just as much fanfare. For example: his dumplings and pectoral flipper. Yes, we swear we’re talking about human men. Below are 10 very sexy, very underrated guy parts that you should get familiar with, if you aren’t already, along with their new names that we’d like to officially submit into the popular lexicon. Keep reading »

16 Things Every Guy Should Know About His Girlfriend (And Creative Ways To Find Them Out)

Sometimes every woman wishes her man would remember more little details about her (and less little details about his fantasy football league). We’ve already shared many of the things we secretly long for our guys to commit to memory, but what if you’re a dude who’s struggling to track down all the facts, stats, and anecdotes about your beloved? How, exactly, are you supposed to figure out her favorite brand of tampons or find out what size bra she wears so you can buy her that sexy lingerie thingy? Don’t worry, fellas, there are ways to coax out the need-to-know details of her life with only minimal underwear drawer snooping required… Keep reading »

Taking It Off: A Semi-NSFW Guide For Men On How To Dress And Undress For Maximum Sex Appeal (In GIFs)

Taking It Off: A Semi-NSFW Guide For Men On How To Dress And Undress For Maximum Sex Appeal (In GIFs)

Sure, getting dressed and undressed is second nature to pretty much everyone. We do it multiple times every day, why would men in particular need some sort of tutorial? Because, my friends, I recently realized that while there is no explicitly wrong way to get dressed and undressed, there is a decisively sexier way, especially before and after you get down. So, gentleman, if you want to reach peak sex appeal the next time you take off your shirt or pull on your pants, follow these rules, presented in GIFs of course. (Gotta have somethin’ for the ladies to look at…) Keep reading »

Super Bowl Sunday Sex Is Unlikely, So We’re Proposing “Makeup Sex Monday”

super-bowl-sunday-sex

Newsflash: Super Bowl Sunday is not a good day for sex. The entire day — and weekend, really — is reserved for football, beer, hot wings and lots of yelling at the TV. Do yourself a favor, and start to accept the fact that you’re not getting it on today.

Thanks to a new survey conducted by We-Vibe, we learned a few things about sex and the Super Bowl… Keep reading »

Be My Boyfriend: Guy Who Built An Adult-Sized Version Of The Little Tikes Coupe

Adult Size Version Of Little Tikes Car
Dream Car Status!

Dear John Bitmead, AKA The Guy Who Built An Adult-Sized Version Of The Little Tikes Coupe,

When I was growing up, my youngest brother had a Little Tikes coupe car, and my other brothers and I delighted in having him drive it up to the edge of this small cliff by our driveway, and then pushing him off. He never got seriously hurt, but we thought it was so funny to watch this happy, bright-colored little car careening down a craggy hillside with our tiny brother inside, screaming, “Damn you, Dr. Nebulous (or whatever our villain name was that day)!”

What I’m trying to say is that I’ve always gotten a lot of joy out of Little Tike coupes, so when I found out that you had created an adult-sized version, that runs on gasoline and is totally street legal, well, it made me want to date you and push you off a cliff. Could we arrange something like that, please?

XOXO
Winona

[Laughing Squid]

  • Zergnet: Simply Irresistible

  • HowAboutWe

  • Popular