Category Archives: Guys

Are you a woman wondering what men think or a man seeking some female relationship advice? Read our collection of honest essays and advice on dating, relationships, and sex.

Happy New Year! Now, Before You Kiss Me At Midnight…

Some of you may be prepping your lips for a New Year’s kiss, so here’s something for you to ponder while your tongue is engaged later on: Men and women kiss for different reasons, according to a Gallup study. Women use kissing to check on where their relationships stand. Men, on the other hand, tend to kiss to gain sexual favors or to reconcile. In other words, he wants you to go home with him after the ball drops, so, ladies, choose wisely! And, though kind of obvious, a Softlips survey found that women prefer tender kisses, while men like “lustful, passionate kisses” more. Oh, and one more thing. Tonight, before you get lost in a booze-and-confetti-filled moment, don’t be among the 76 percent of people who don’t check their breath before kissing someone. Because your breath stinks. [The Enquirer (Cincinnati)]
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Dear Abby Ponders The Naked Boy Next Door

“Clothes-Minded In Wisconsin” wrote “Dear Abby” about her neighbor’s 16-year-old son, who walks around the house completely nude in front of his family. “In the morning he gets up around 6:45. He walks into the kitchen and fixes a bowl of cereal. Then he stands at the counter, watching the morning sports shows while eating his breakfast in the nude. There is absolutely no evidence of arousal of any kind. When the bathroom becomes available, he goes in for a shower.”

Clothes-Minded is wondering whether it’s normal for a teenage boy to do this. What we’re wondering is how she seems to know his morning routine so well. Does she hide behind her white-lace kitchen curtains, watching the morning sports updates through binoculars and searching for signs of arousal in the house next door? Dear Abby, is it normal to spy on your neighbors so religiously? [Yahoo!]
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Women Want More Than Rich Men In 2008

Even though “marrying a wealthy man” came in fourth on a poll of what women want for 2008, The Sun (U.K.) used the headline, “Women wish for Mr. Rich” to tout the story. That makes it seem like all we want in life is someone who will pay for us to have nice things, like penthouse apartments and Christian Louboutin shoes, which may be partially, but not completely, true. What The Sun should have written is “Women wish to travel the world and dominate the business world,” because those desires topped the list. Who thinks a man wrote The Sun‘s headline? [The Sun (U.K.)] Keep reading »

Cheating And Christmas Go Hand In Hand

Sure, this time of year is generally when people tend to remember what they’re thankful for — things like health, work, family, and friends — but the holidays are also ideal for cheating on your significant other. Who knew! With holiday parties and frantic shopping sprees as excuses, we have plenty of opportunities to deceive each other, which is really sad, because if you can’t be faithful around Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanza, when can you? We think cheating around the holidays would make someone an even bigger ass than he would be if he cheated at any other time of year, so if you have a bad feeling about someone being a scumbag, here are a few things to be on the lookout for (and how we think you can prevent such suspicious behavior)…

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Going Out For Drinks Is Boring

How many times have I gone out for drinks on a date? More times than I can count. Of course, it’s partly my fault for not suggesting something more exciting. So I asked my friend John, who’s always taking girls out on interesting adventures, to tell me three of his most successful — though I’m not sure I see myself going to a cock fight any time soon.

1) Amateur Boxing Match
“The girl I’m dating is really into blood sport. She gets all excited and punchy afterwards. I’ve been trying to find out about cockfights — the avian kind — but I don’t seem to know the right people. And it might be too much for her anyway.”

2) The Zoo
“I went to the Brooklyn Zoo with a girl I made cry twice. There’s a llama barn there and she loves llamas, so that was a big score. You can feed them and pet them and hope they don’t bite your hand off. I hate animals.”

3) Ping Pong
“I’ve had a couple ping-pong brawls with the girl I’m seeing. She’s pretty good, which surprised me. It was fun at first but it has since escalated into serious business, fraught with anxiety and resentment and loathing. Afterwards, we’re able to put that all aside and be friends again — as long as I win — and it lends some electricity to the, ahem, romance.” Keep reading »

All Nerds Are Not Created Equal

Ever since Adam Brody stole our hearts on The O.C. playing hot nerd Seth Cohen, the “smart throb” has been the type-du-jour. Move over bad boys, we want someone who will manage our finances, fix our computers and watch angst-y hipster movies with us. Luckily, Beauty and the Geek: Season 2 winner Josh Herman compiled a list of geeky guy types, where to find them, and how to deal with their Agent Scully obsession. Now where did we put our glasses…? [MSNBC]
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Gross Guy Trend: Limp, Thinning Hair

Eww, Heath Ledger what happened to you? It’s like the time we found our the Easter Bunny was totally imaginary — we’re so depressed! It seems like only yesterday that we were getting our subtle gay porn rocks off from your nudie scenes in Brokeback Mountain, but these days you’re looking about as dated as Anne Hathaway’s costumes. Memo to all the guys reading this: when your hair starts to thin and recede this much, reach for the clippers. Our girl boner is sad! Keep reading »

Hot Piece Of Ass: Jamie Campbell Bower

Seeing Sweeney Todd is on our to-do list, in large part because Johnny Depp is hot. But after watching the movie, everyone is going to be in love with Jamie Campbell Bower, who plays Anthony Hope. Yeah, he’s 19, so you couldn’t go out drinking with him in America, but he has a British accent, he went to boarding school, and he doesn’t have tons of paparazzi following him yet. Plus, he’s hoping to play Tom Riddle in the next Harry Potter movie, which is really cute to us, because we’re dorky like that. [The New York Observer]
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Sugar Babies Can Finally Stop Worrying About Dating Middle-Income Guys

Yeah, we know it’s every guy’s fantasy to have a harem of his own à la Hugh Hefner’s Girls Next Door, but we didn’t realize there were droves actually attempting to make it happen. For a little more than a thousand measly bucks (measly in millionaire terms—I can barely pay my rent), rich guys can become certified sugar daddies on SeekingMillionaire.com. What a useful concept! Not only does it help guys find women who will put out for rich players, but it also makes the leeches feel safer since they know they can’t be deceived by guys pretending they’re loaded: “Most online dating sites are full of men claiming to be millionaires in order to attract responses from beautiful women,” one sugar baby said. “When a certified sugar daddy contacts me, I know he is a real millionaire.” Wow. Job security for gold diggers. [SeekingMillionaire.com] Keep reading »

Lipstick Does Its Part to Keep The Roads Safe

If your boyfriend’s a bad driver—hell, even if your cabbie seems to think he’s auditioning for future installment of The Fast and the Furious — just start talking about your glorious Cover Girl Continuous Color Lipstick in Mauvelicious. Or the new chairs Design Within Reach Chairs you’re lusting over. A study by German and Swedish researchers showed that men drove slower when they heard neutral or feminine words, rather than manly stuff like “beard” and “muscles.” Just don’t start talking to him about really girly stuff, like the black lace bra you’re wearing, because then he might drive right off the road. [Sydney Morning Herald] Keep reading »

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