The most important words a son can learn are “everything is fine, mom.” Which isn’t a lie. It’s more of a wish dressed up like the truth. No different, really, than a mother looking down at her chubby son looking up at her through swimming goggles, a towel tied around his neck, and asking if he could one day be a superhero. Was it possible? Did he have her permission? And her saying, “Yes, yes, and yes.” You know those stories about a mother lifting a car to save her child? Such displays of super-strength aren’t that rare. Most mothers carry their hopes and fears for their children on their backs, stooping over from that terrible treasure’s weight. Atlas had it easy. A man should aspire to relieve her of this burden from time to time. Laid off? Heartbroken? Monsters under the bed? Everything is fine. Keep reading »
Is it politically incorrect to say there are certain things that women want from men that may be considered a double-standard? Probably. But that never stopped us before, don’t you know it. The fact of the matter is that there are certain things that most women do not want most men to do in front of them. Trust! These may range from the gaseous to the testicular, although, surely, not all women will be in agreement on this list of the indiscreet. Additionally, some women still want to be able to do these things themselves (see: “Weep to Excess”), but they don’t really want their man doing them in their face. Remember: Double-standards are fine, as long as we set them. (Kidding! Sort of.) Keep reading »
You know, sometimes I get Vanity Fair in the mail and I’m all, “Yawwwwwn.” And then I put it on my coffee table so I look smart and cultured to guests but never actually read it. That will not be the case with the June issue of the magazine. That issue — featuring a plethora of soccer/football hotties, like Cristiano Ronaldo and Didier Drogba — will get a coveted spot above my toilet, where I keep the mags I want to pour over in depth when I’m taking a bath. Drool. See more photos here and then watch these fellas in action when the World Cup starts next month. [Vanity Fair] Keep reading »
Hey, all! Recently, my new boyfriend and I took a trip to the beach together. Sure, he’s a little younger than me, but true love knows no reason. Also, he’s way hotter than me, but who cares! His name is Sean O’Pry, he’s not old enough to drink until July, and he’s best known for being a sexy mofo. I took a lot of footage of him with no shirt on, and also wandering around in the waves looking moody. Jealous much? Yes, you are. [Fashin] Keep reading »
How much porn have I watched in my life? I don’t know, how many breaths have you taken?
No, no, I’m exaggerating. How many times have you said “like”?
Here’s the thing: When it comes to having sex, most people don’t actually want it to be like the porn they love. At all. Read more … Keep reading »