“Michael Fassbender is a man. He just looks at you, and you want to take your clothes off. Let me just say this — once he kissed me on the mouth to say hello, and I almost fainted. The kiss was very platonic on his part. I could smell what he had for breakfast in the morning, you know what I mean? He could eat a pile of shit, and it would smell good on him.”
Sarah Paulson‘s description of Michael Fassbender in the new issue of New York confirms first hand what I always suspected about the “Shame” actor — he is sex on a stick. [Instagram]
Ryan Reynolds has always been an undeniably attractive gentleman, all washboard abs and manly cheekbones. But while I’ve always been able to appreciate him aesthetically, he never really did anything special for my girl boner. UNTIL NOW. I’m sorry, but whoever advised Ryan on his old-timey barkeep meets hipster banjo player meets sexy Amish farmer new look deserves all the awards. I mean, he was a handsome leading man before, but now, with the addition of thick specs, linen vest and a fuzzy face, he is 100 percent DO ME ON THE FLOOR RIGHT NOW material. Approve! [Photos: Fame/Flynet]
Love is a complicated thing. The most complicated thing, even. Montagues fall in love with Capulets. Americans fall in love with Australians. And no matter how morally depraved and heinous his crimes, there always seems to be some woman who will marry a convicted murderer. Take Leydi Figueroa Uceda, a Peruvian woman who has been engaged to Joran van der Sloot, the Dutch man who allegedly killed teenager Natalee Holloway in Aruba in 2005, since last year. Not only are these two engaged, but Uceda is now five months’ pregnant with their child. Keep reading »
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“Magic Mike XXL” – yes, we choose to embrace this pun – will officially be arriving in theaters on July 3, 2015, leaving us over a year to fantasize about it. Here’s how to spend the 15 long months between now and the next time we see Channing Tatum’s … adapted screenplay. Keep reading »
I’ve been dating this guy for a while now and last night he called me while he was with his friends. Our conversation was normal until he suddenly asked, “Did you hook up with one of my friends?” I tried to deny it, but after he asked me several times, I just finally said “Yes.” It happened a long time ago before I even met my boyfriend. I didn’t tell him because I even forgot I had hooked up with his friend. It was that meaningless and suck-ish. He was completely upset, especially since he was out with that specific friend. He kept telling me he had a right to know about it and that he was so hurt. All I want to know is, should I have told him about it? And will he eventually get over it? – J.
Oh, the fragile male ego.
First things first. You were under no obligation to tell this guy you hooked up with his friend, unless you were asked point-blank. The “prior relationships” conversation is an emotional minefield, and if either (or both) of you have avoided that whole subject during your relationship, I 100 percent support that choice. Of course, he’s freaking out and being a bit ridiculous. Keep reading »
The online dating scene is rough. Sure, it’s a great way to meet people, but we use the term “people” loosely, as some of the individuals we’ve come in contact with still seem to be in their primitive forms. Obviously, first impressions count … but not to these idiots.
Sender: 44, Male
Receiver: 32, Female
Site: Plenty of Fish
Tip: Don’t do anything that this doucher does. NOTHING. Not only does this self-proclaimed “player” list his profession as “lying and cheating on my wife,” but he tells us he’s not ambitious, calls himself a “narcissistic ass,” and goes on to explain that he lies to women to sleep with them before running home to his wife of only five weeks. If you ask us, it sounds like this guy is the perfect candidate for herpes … and maybe a marketing class. Keep reading »