Tonight, my friends, is game six of the World Series, aka the night the Yankees could win it all. To be completely honest with you, I couldn’t give a damn about baseball and have never watched a full game in my life. However, I recognize that the game involves hot, illusive men in tights who do heroic things, so I’ll take a gambit at making potentially fakelife-altering decisions and choose which of the Yankees and which of the Phillies I would shun, shag, and marry.

You can’t change the one you love. Your significant other isn’t a fixer-upper that you can repaint, renovate, and redecorate to suit your whims. Loving someone for who they could be, should be or as you see them in your dreams isn’t love: it’s self-absorption that says more about your own flaws than theirs. To totally massacre President Kennedy’s famous call to action, ask not what love can do for you, but what you can do for love.

So ... is this where an addiction to online porn goes too far? [Unplggd.com]

Brad Pitt, eternally hot actor and father of 1,000 children, has been rocking a rather bohemian-looking beard thingy for a while now. Usually I am willing to give BP the benefit of the doubt, style- and grooming-wise, but now things have gone too far. At a recent press event Brad was spotted with little beads woven into his beard fur, as if he was channeling Johnny Depp’s “Pirates of the Caribbean” character. Here’s the thing Brad: Johnny was actually in all three of those movies, so he’s the only one who’s allowed to take the look home with him at night, OK? Shave it. Just shave it.

What is it about men with accents?  It gives them that je ne sais quoi … well, actually, according to a new international poll, the French no longer speak the language of love. A super sexy-sounding Irish brogue, à la Jonathan Rhys Meyers, drives all the ladies wild. No wonder it’s called the luck of the Irish! And there’s good news for all gentlemen, the study also found it’s really not what you say but how you say it. Accents factor heavily into a man’s chances of becoming a Casanova, with six out of ten women having done a dude just because he talks purdy.

So, how did our sweet-talkin’ American hunks stack up when it comes to lingual seduction? Find out after the jump.

The moment has finally come. After getting your required amount of gallantry and booze, you’re going home with the new guy. But what will his place look like? We all spend the most at-home time in the bedroom, especially on that sexy sorta night. So, just like his underwear style, his sheet set can be really telling. Is your man a full-fledged flannel softie, an Egyptian cotton king, or perhaps even a bold bed-in-a-bag kind of guy? Find out how he’s exposing himself, before you even take off his pants.

VITAL STATS:
Born: May 30, 1981 Houston, Texas
Sun: Gemini
Ascendant: Unknown
Moon: Sagittarius
Mercury: Gemini
Venus: Cancer
Mars: Virgo

Some of you may already know who Sam Kass is, but I’m not really up on the goings-on in the White House kitchen, so today was the first day I learned about the young, chrome-domed chef cooking up the incredible hotness for the Prez and family. Kass was the Obamas’ personal chef back in Chicago, and when Barack won the presidency, he brought the 29-year-old to Washington with him. Along with Michelle Obama, Kass has been heavily involved in the White House’s organic food initiative. Clearly, he doesn’t mind getting his hands a little dirty and, as a result, my mind is filled with filthy things. Thanks to reader Alexis for the tip!

I’ve lived with several women, and I don’t blame them for moving out as soon as they became aware of my idiosyncrasies. I don’t even blame them for leaving their cats behind, as long as they don’t blame me for giving the cats away (by opening my kitchen door and yelling at them).

Here are a few common, completely terrifying things you’ll learn about guys if you make the unfortunate decision to move in with one.