All this craziness over Team Edward or Team Jacob is getting old real fast, so don’t come around here with your mugs and t-shirts. I don’t care which team you’re on. It’s just disrespectful to the other “New Moon” hotties! In this flick there is a plethora of vamps and wolves panting and wanting your blood, and, like I always say in bars, go for the cross-eyed one and you won’t get hurt. They might not have Jacob’s abs or Edward’s broodiness, but I’d still totally let them poke me with their stakes.

“Vampirella was so hot I used to buy every comic I could get my hands on. The fact she didn’t exist didn’t bother me because we have these quintessential female images in our mind, and in the case of the male mind, they’re grossly distorted. When you see something that reflects your id, it works for you…Most of men’s problems with women probably have to do with realizing women are real and most of them don’t look or act like Vampirella. A big recalibration happens when we’re forced to deal with real women, and there’s a certain geek population that would much rather deal with fantasy women than real women. Let’s face it: Real women are complicated. You can try your whole life and not understand them.”

—Avatar director James Cameron explains why nerds who are into fantasy women don’t get laid as much as men who can deal with, um, real women [Playboy]

Can I get a show of hands for all the Sassy readers in the house? When I was in high school, getting my new issue of Sassy in the mail was the highlight of my month, and good cause to skip class so I could read every word in the park. (Sorry, mom.) So I still get a little giddy every time I see editor Christina Kelly’s byline. In this month’s issue of Vice, she’s penned an amazing piece of journalism called “Men and Urinals: An Investigation,” where she asked a bunch of dudes about their #1 behavior. After the jump, some quotes from the article that will make you wonder why guys think it’s so strange that we go to the bathroom in packs. But, seriously, go read the whole thing here.

Men fight because it feels good. It’s thrilling. Testosterone explodes and adrenaline surges. The hormonal musk kicked up by a MMA fight is potent enough to grow hair on a grapefruit. We have love of the battle in our blood. There are biological and evolutionary reasons for this. Like many male mammals, men compete for territory, food, and, most importantly, females. After all, it’s our genetic compulsion to spread our seed. Violence is part of our nature. It comes in handy when a giant, shambling mound of protein with tusks needs to be taken down. It’s a negative when … well… read the news. If I were a cynic, I’d say that war was invented to keep the surplus of men down.

As Amelia told us earlier, People magazine has just announced Johnny Depp as the Sexiest Man Alive. Amelia loves Johnny, as do most of us, but she suggested People should think outside the box and give the honor to someone who isn’t such a leading man. My vote goes to Gilles Marini, the hot Frenchman you might remember as Samantha’s naked neighbor in the “Sex and the City” movie last year as well as the second place winner in last season’s “Dancing With The Stars.” He may not be People‘s Sexiest Man Alive (yet!), but he graces their issue with a sizzling hot centerfold spread (check it out after the jump!), and he stopped by the “Today” show studio this morning and perked me up way more than any double shot of espresso could. Let’s all take a moment and gaze at the eighth wonder of the world that is Gilles Marini, shall we? P.S. You can just skip ahead to the 2:18 mark. Hubba-hubba!

Now, I’m as big a Johnny Depp fan as anyone, and he is a vast improvement over last year’s pick, Hugh Jackman, but would it kill People to think outside the box? There are only a dozen or so real leading men in the entertainment industry—are they planning on rotating the title between them for the next 20 years? Anyhoo, other men in the issue include Ryan Reynolds (who I thought might/should win this year, given his amazing abs and upcoming role in the “Green Hornet” movie), Robert Pattinson (duh), Bradley Cooper, the guys from “Glee,” and Mr. Mariah Carey Nick Cannon. Who wins your vote for sexiest man alive? [People]

Ever since David Letterman and ESPN’s Steve Phillips schtupped their underlings, all the glossy women’s magazines have scrambled for a good and juicy “I slept with my boss” story. Elle is the latest lady mag to cough up an inappropriate-relationship-with-the-boss confession‚ but what’s refreshingly candid about ex-investment banker Melanie Berliet’s story is the terms of the relationship. For better or for worse, Berliet was never in love with her boss and never claimed to be. Quite the contrary: she admitted she only answered his late-night calls and replied to his sexts because she wanted “a fat bonus check.”

ZOMG! It’s D-Day! The first sneak peek at Levi Johnston‘s naked pics for Playgirl have hit the interwebs. And, um, yes, this is it. Levi shows off his ... armpit. I wonder what he’s doing in that shower? Bathing, probably.

Ah, men. So many hot ones. So very little time. Thankfully, GQ has seen fit to round up the hottest, coolest, funniest, most talented, and generally awesomest guys of 2009. Want to see who they are? Find out here!

This month, Marie Claire had their male dating blogger, Rich Santos, reveal 20 secrets men keep about “sex, dating, relationships, and you.” I read through them and thought, “These have to be the worst-kept secrets since Elton John was in the closet.” Seriously, most of these “secrets” read like, well, like a women’s magazine’s (or blog, natch) rant against men. After the jump, eight “secrets” men keep that will make you say, “Well, duh.”

On the set of the his new movie “Uncertainty,” Joseph Gordon-Levitt sparked an impromptu am session on set, showing off his guitar picking and singing skills during his rendition of “La Bamba.” The video of this awesomeness was just brought to my attention. So yeah, Ryan Gosling, how are you going to take things up a notch?

Wouldn’t it be nice if all the good men in the world had an invisible stamp on their hand, and all you had to do to find one was shine a black light on it? But, uh, what constitutes a “good man” anyway? Tom Matlack of The Huffington Post is attempting to answer that question with The Good Men Project: Real Stories from the Front Lines of Modern Manhood, a collection of first-person stories that he’s turned into a book and documentary about what it means to be a man in America today. Encompassing stories from Pulitzer winners to ex-cons, and pro Football Hall of Famers to just regular Joes, the authors share their defining challenges, losses and triumphs through honest and simple truths.

A couple of months ago, we brought you into the world of Paul Janka, aka the World’s Most Subtle Pickup Artist, a title he should clearly trademark soon. Today, one of his conquests shared her experience meeting Janka with Gawker, and we think you’ll find it a truly beautiful story. This woman met Janka at a party a few months ago, after which her invited her to Rome to stay at a friend’s villa. It sounded sweet until he sent her a message that read: “I bought your ticket ... Make sure to get a waxing; I’m going to make all your holes very sore.” She decided to back out of their Italian adventure. He sent the cheesy snapshot of himself you see at left to try to convince her otherwise. When she made it clear that, no really, she wasn’t getting on that plane, he wrote her this line of poetry. “It’s a shame you decided to get clever and #&@$% it all up for yourself.” Ah, but a true gentleman like Janka knows that persistence is a virtue. Even though this all went down a while ago, this woman still receives text messages from him saying things like, “Want some coffee and want it up the ass?” I hope we can all find a guy as romantic as him some day. [Gawker]

I didn’t coin the term “man-gagement ring,” so don’t blame me, but, according to ABC News, engagement rings for men are “having a moment.” Call it a clever marketing ploy, but as one NY jeweler said: “If you think about it, a woman is engaged and wears an engagement ring on her finger, oftentimes [for] north of a year. And a guy’s engaged during that same time and walks into a bar as a free man ... so I think for $350, $400 for a woman to claim her territory, it’s catching on pretty quickly.” Um, ew. I’m not opposed to engagement rings for guys, but when they’re bought with the intention of claiming one’s territory or stripping a man’s freedom, it’s pretty gross. What do you guys think? Would you buy an engagement ring for your man? [via NYmag.com]