I have nothing against romance. I like to be wooed. I welcome it. I even like certain traditional romantic gestures; for example, I love to receive flowers. There’s no surer way to my heart than to bring me a bunch of peonies. I’ll take a beautiful bouquet over diamonds any day. But there are some lovey-dovey gestures that I cannot stomach, things that seriously should have been edited out of the romance handbook. So, guys, if you’re going to attempt to woo me — and you are, aren’t you? — please, pretty please, don’t do the following seven things. Keep reading »
Tag Archives: guy advice
One of the great challenges for women turning 30 is the feeling of being somewhat accomplished but still not feeling like it’s enough. And this feeling of “enough” is hard for me to express but in my opinion may be the single most important thing to understanding women over 30. “Enough” is not quantifiable by money, degrees, shoe collections, or babies (in no particular order) — it’s something bigger.
Let me use a football metaphor to explain: Reaching 30 for women is like a diehard fan reaching the end of the second quarter at a really good football game. You can stay and double down for the second half, or you can go home at half time. For women, you start to see two clear paths: one to career and one to family. Only when I turned 30, and my professional and personal life started to really develop, did I give much thought to how exactly I was going to do it all: have a job, a husband, children, and my sanity. I don’t have an answer for that, but I think I’m like most women in that I didn’t really think about the specifics until I turned 30.
You think she’s hot, but instead of complimenting her, you throw in a light joke about what she’s wearing. You’re not afraid to use the Cocky & Funny strategy with women, because it usually works. That’s if you pay attention to what well-known dating coach David DeAngelo has to say on the topic. But if you go off on a tangent and misinterpret what being cocky is all about, it could totally backfire on you.
Ladies, get ready, I’m about to have a TMI moment with y’all. A couple of months ago, I went on a date with a guy, and we seemed to really be hitting it off. He made a comment about coming back to my house when we finished up our drinks, and I was really into the idea, but I didn’t want him to get the wrong vibe about what might go down, so I flirtatiously told him that I was up for it, but I wasn’t going to sleep with him. And. He. Flipped. Out.
He turned to me and said, “Just think about how this sounds” and then repeated my words back to me. “I’m not going to have sex with you tonight.” And oh, boy, was he right. It sounded HARSH. Way harsh, Tai. (“Clueless” reference alert!) I was suddenly on the verge of tears. I felt like a major jerk! And so presumptuous! Had I totally blown it? But then, what was I supposed to do? I mean, I was just trying to avoid some really awkward making out moment. My intentions were good!
So, I figured I’d ask a few of the thoughtful gents on my IM list what they prefer women do in those sorts of scenarios. And boy, were the results mixed. The general consensus though, was I probably shouldn’t have handled it quite that way. Lesson learned. It’s a good thing I’ve only been doing things this way for oh, the last 15 years or so. (Blergh).
After the jump, guy advice on how to handle the awkward first (or second date) sex chat. Keep reading »
In the wake of Weinergate, perhaps it would be an appropriate time to make a confession to the men of the world. Dick pics don’t really turn us on all that much. In the universe of nudie photos, bulges, hard-ons and the like don’t do the same thing for us that vaginas and boobs do for you. Sorry, to break the news, guys. We are turned on by the thought of you rubbing one out in our honor, but women are not as visual. We don’t need to see the evidence. According to an article in The Washington Post, a study found that dick pics do nothing for women, sexually speaking. Researchers found that men operate under the golden rule of sexting, “I think it’s hot, you should too.” But they are amiss in their logic. The kind of things that turn us on are way different. When women were polled about what kind of pics would get them all hot and bothered, some answers included a man folding laundry, a home cooked meal, and a guy’s alphabetized bookshelf. Um, yes. Sexy! After the jump, some pics you fellas out there could send us that would get you laid for sure. Keep reading »
Perfectly good sex can be ruined by really bad manners. There is an unwritten code of sex conduct. Follow it, and your partner will likely be a repeat customer. Break it, and you may screw the likelihood of boning again. After the jump, some examples of bad manners in the bedroom that will get you kicked to the curb. Keep reading »
You know how it goes: You met a smoking hot girl you really like. The chemistry was off the charts (well, according to you), she seemed totally into you too when she gave you her digits, you called her to go out sometime, and then she never returned your call. Was it the broccoli in your teeth? Did you have stinky pits? It could be one of those reasons, but chances are it’s something a little less forgiving. So why didn’t she call you back? Keep reading »
It’s been over 30 years, but I still remember the day Jenny Talbot caught me staring at her boobs.
Jenny and I sat next to each other in a couple of classes. We weren’t exactly friends, but friendly; she helped me in math, I helped her in social studies. One day, Jenny and I were working together on a project, our desks and bodies facing. Though she usually wore sweaters, this spring day she wore just a V-neck T-shirt. When she bent over, I could see her breasts encased in her white, frilly bra. I was not quite 14, and in a near constant state of arousal; the sight of a bra strap was, frequently, enough to produce an erection. With Jenny distracted by her work, I had a free close-up view of the kind I’d rarely had. So I stared. Keep reading »
Everything I ever needed to know about dating, I learned selling comedy tickets on the streets of New York City. Convincing a grouchy New Yorker to give you cash money for magic beans is a brutal way to make a living, much less a buck. But it was while pounding the proverbial pavement like a shabby salesman on the verge of death that I learned that one cannot fail forever. The big story of success, in sales or in love, is actually many smaller stories of failures. Keep reading »
Last week, I posted a poll about the romantic gestures that would actually make you swoon. While you voted in the thousands — with a surprise trip getting the most votes — I was struck by how many of you offered your own suggestions for romantic gestures in the comments. I noticed a few themes and compiled them into seven types of romantic gestures that make the biggest impression. Check ‘em out after the jump! (And please, continue to leave more swoon-worthy suggestions in the comments!) Keep reading »