It just creeps right up every year. It’s Valentine’s Day and then you sneeze and out comes WEDDING SEASON. I’m attending four (possibly five) this year. That’s a lot of hotel room minibars to resist, a lot of champy to consume without getting too tipsy, a lot of my signature Elaine Benes style dance moves to bust out. I don’t even care if I look like a spaz. Just let me dance!
This wedding season, for the first time in forever, I have a date that I can drag with me to all the nuptials. After one wedding together, I’ve learned a few things about my guy’s wedding style: he doesn’t usually like to dance, but when he does, he’s got a mean groove on the downbeat, he’s only mildly embarrassed by my dance moves and he seems to be immune to hangovers. So far, he’s killing it as a plus one. And I’m grateful for that. Because after years of wedding date weirdness, I’ve learned that the wrong escort can ruin the whole damn affair. You deserve to have your wedding season to suck as little as possible. So, if you’ve been lucky enough to be asked to attend a wedding as a plus one (weddings are expensive these days and it’s an honor that should be taken very seriously!), here are some guidelines for how to behave so that your date doesn’t want to dive face first into a tray of oyster shooters.
Wedding season is upon us, and if you’re a bride-to-be, you know that the second most urgent question behind, “Have you found your dress yet?” is “How are you wearing your hair?!” There are so many hairstyle options it can be tough to choose, but deciding on your wedding hair is a lot like deciding on your dress: when you see it, you just know. If you’re looking for a little hair inspiration for your big day, we’ve got you covered. We rounded up 30 bridal hairstyles for every hair type and wedding style, from casual to formal to funky (bridal fauxhawk, anyone?). Click on the gallery to check ‘em out!
More and more couples are eschewing the pomp and circumstance of big weddings in favor of getting married at City Hall. City Hall weddings are super affordable (most often costing between $40 and $100), and are a quick and easy way to get hitched without spending a lot of time or money on a big production. What should you do if you want to get married at your local City Hall? Make an appointment ahead of time, be prompt, bring cash, and don’t forget your rings.
As for what to wear? We’ve got that all figured out for you. City Hall weddings are certainly a less formal alternative to a big wedding, but that doesn’t mean you can’t look nice. After the jump, 11 dresses to wear to your City Hall wedding.
My parents got divorced when I was almost too young to remember. I carry only brief images of the time surrounding their divorce. My mother, in a red dress with polka dots, kneeling down to meet me at my level as I squirm in a chair, legs swinging above the floor. “I’m going away for a little bit,” she says. “I’ll see you soon.” Our new house in New York is full of books and my grandma is there and my father stretches the phone cord taut so he can sit on the steps to the basement and argue with my mother in California, 3000 miles away.
The details of the event were unusual for the late 1980s. The court granted primary custody to my father — we’d spend summers in California and live in New York for the school year. My primary memory of family growing up is as a unit of three — father, sister, me. Our trio was strong, it was unshakeable, and my sister and I adapted to an early independence. We did our own laundry, heated up our Kid Cuisine dinners in the microwave while our father worked late and made annual trips to the West Coast every summer to visit our mom. Our household was just as functional as that of any two-parent household. We trotted off to school each morning with combed hair, brushed teeth and all of our belongings.
I grew up into a independent, self-sufficient and confident adult, a woman who would much rather do it myself than wait on someone else to understand what needs to be done, a woman who is okay with the idea of potentially spending a life not married — not because no one would have me, but because I like it that way. Alone. Keep reading »
I don’t know what’s better — this obviously Photoshopped photo of a dinosaur attacking some random wedding party? Or the nerdy comments on Reddit about the T-Rex: “Their eyesight is based on movement. 2nd girl on the left will be the only survivor.” [Uproxx via Reddit]
If you’re planning a summer wedding, you may now be where I once was, just a few weeks before my nuptials: at the bar.
I was tired of making decisions. I was tired of caring about details. I was tired of answering questions. I was tired of worrying. Planning a big-ass event is hard. Planning one that’s supposed to be the Greatest Day Of Your Life Ever Or Else Your Existence As A Whole Is A Poorly Executed Sham And Everybody Knows It is especially hard, and you don’t have to have purchased stock in Wedding Industrial Complex, Inc. to be worried about it.
So I’m going to tell you a true thing that good people told me. Something I knew intellectually to be true, but something I found emotionally hard to wrap my mind around:
There are two kinds of people who seriously care about your wedding. One of those kinds of people is you and, ideally, the person you’re about to commit your forever life to. The other kind of person is an asshole. Keep reading »
Why anyone would pay 2012 Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney money to talk about anything, I don’t know, but I guess it’s mutually beneficial. He has to pay the bills on that car-elevator somehow. Anyway, quoting from the book of Luke in the Bible, Romney encouraged the recent grads of Southern Virginia University to “launch out into the deep.” But what exactly did this mean? Find work that you love? Pay off those student loans before Sallie Mae hunts you down like a dog?
No. Get married. Keep reading »
How about this: unless you’re speaking to a person who is literally about to walk down an aisle to an altar at which they will proceed to exchange vows of lifelong love to another human being, don’t tell them they’re “next” to get married.
That’s what a friend of mine’s sister told her recently, and … well, I’ll just tell you what my friend — a single lady — expressed in response: “RUH RUH!?!?!” Because seriously. Nobody’s “next.” There’s not a wedding pecking order. Nobody is the first person to get married, and matrimony isn’t a race wherein some people come in second, third or fourth place. Keep reading »
Please don’t have a million people in your wedding party.
There, I said it. I know you are the most popular and lovable person who ever lived, and you don’t want to exclude anyone, not even your sixth cousin because your fifth cousin is totally going to throw a fit, but I think you will make yourself crazy if you have a million people in your wedding party.
Hear me out.
Actually, no, hear this person out, the letter writer to Miss Manners who lamented, “I have 10 bridesmaids but only five groomsmen! What do I do?”
What you do is cut some bridesmaids. (Gently, with a plastic butter knife.) Or better yet: don’t field a wedding baseball team in the first place. Wedding planning, even for small events, can be days after days, weeks after weeks, months after months, of asking yourself “What do I do?!”
The more people you wrangle on your wedding day, the more times you’ll have to ask yourself, “What do I do?!” Not because your friends and family are terrible. But because there’s a 99.99999 percent chance they’re human beings. Keep reading »
Earlier this month, the world met Susan Patton, a 1977 graduate of Princeton University, authoress of the world’s snobbiest letter to the editor of The Daily Princetonian. Its utterly-sincere advice that female undergrads marry fellow Princetonians because they’ll never find men as intelligent anywhere else in the world — followed by the news that Patton had recently divorced and blamed her husband for attending a no-name college — made her an instant Internet villainess.
It also got her invited back to speak to Princeton last week, where she shared more of her dating tips, including: “A woman looking for a husband in her 30s gives off total desperation.” Such spinster harridans are absolute “man repellent,” she warned. Keep reading »