I’ve been married all of 11 days now and, as if on cue, the day my husband (still very much getting used to saying that!) and I tied the knot, he stopped putting the toilet seat down. I ignored it at first, but by our first weekend together as a married couple, I couldn’t stand it any longer and said something to him about it. I made a jokey comment about his sudden change in behavior — more embarrassed than pissed at being such a cliché so early in our marriage. After over three years together, surely he must realize if there’s one thing I wanted to avoid in marriage it was being a cliché, but I suppose the lesson here is that that’s a lost cause for any married couple, even those of us who think we’re so “modern.” One cliché I will be able to avoid, though, is the terrible mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship so many women have. My own mother-in-law passed away long before I got a chance to meet her, and while I’d love to think we would have had a wonderful relationship — if her sons are any indication, she was a terrific woman and I hope she would have approved of me — the odds, apparently, aren’t in our favor.
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By now you might have seen the video above, in which a guy simultaneously sets a Guinness World Record (for the longest whisper chain at 59 people) and proposes to his girlfriend. But when I saw it, I realized something — hey, I KNOW that guy! His name is Jake Bronstein and you may recognize him as a cast member from “Road Rules: Islands” (1997) if you are as old as I am and a devoted watcher of MTV’s crap. Since then, he’s pretty much avoided the reality TV ghetto, instead working at a variety of men’s magazines, launching his own blog, Zoomdoggle, and helping to bring our new web series, “MERRIMe.com,” to the masses. The last time I saw Jake, he told me about his girlfriend, Kristina, and said he was “gettin’ engaged soon.” Little did I realize that their engagement would become viral video fodder. Jake was nice enough to tear himself away from engagement bliss to answer a few questions about his aww-inducing proposal. Get the scoop, after the jump… Keep reading »
The Rorschach test is in the news. The entire 10 plates have been posted on Wikipedia and the controversy begins. The ten plates have been kept tightly under wraps for years. But now the copyright has expired. So it is quite natural to wonder: “Can a Rorschach test be used to determine marriage material? Can it tell us about intimacy? What about sex?” Continue reading… Keep reading »
My husband and I are married not because I said, “I do,” but because he said, “I’ll do it.”
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While many fear that America is falling out of the marriage habit, and that, these days, all is bad in love and more, new stats show otherwise. Supposedly, 86% of women marry by age forty. This says something, considering that a 20-year-old article in Newsweek declared that “a 40-year-old single woman had a better chance of being killed by a terrorist than getting married.” Ouch.
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Coming from a divorced family, I have spent my life questioning the idea of a life-long commitment. Most of the adults I know have been divorced at least once, and of the couples who are still married, most of them (along with their kids) appear miserable. And so, while I would love to find a companion whose company I will enjoy “’til death do us part,” I’ve learned from observation that this just might not be a realistic goal. And is it so horrible to think that maybe we weren’t supposed to spend our entire lives with one person? Is traditional marriage the best — or only — way?
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Dudes, don’t take any cues from Drew Olanoff. The Twitter user, who apparently is known for starting the Twitter campaign “#blamedrewscancer” after he was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, proposed to his girlfriend via Twitter. Sarah Cooley said yes, but we wouldn’t blame her for being pissed that he asked for her hand in marriage in such a public way — and not even in person! [Mashable] Keep reading »
Since I got engaged early last month and began planning a wedding for this summer, I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to be hitched. As someone who already lives with her husband-to-be, I wonder just how much marriage will actually change things, whether I’ll wake up the morning after the wedding feeling any different. I’ve also been thinking a lot about what kind of wife I want to be, what it means to be a “good” wife, and how — if at all — being a “good wife” could compromise my identity or personal needs and interests.
I don’t feel a pressing desire to “prove” to myself or anyone else that I won’t change, that I won’t compromise anything, because at some point I’m sure I will. (Isn’t compromise a big part marriage, after all?) But I’m also certain that while bits of my identity are bound to shift, just as I would expect them to with any big life change and new perspective, the core of who I am will remain the same. No new name, white dress, ring on my finger or any other traditional convention is going to change that. For better or worse, I am who I am and I’m pretty solid in my identity. So when I read a column in the Guardian recently by Abigail Gliddon, a woman who claims “when a woman takes her husband’s name, she surrenders her former identity and adopts his,” I wondered how she came to have such low expectations for other women. Keep reading »
Guests were told to wear ivory to Jay-Z and Beyonce’s wedding on Friday (that’s Gwyneth Paltrow arriving, above); I wore a white dress with black piping to a friend’s wedding in October and got dirty looks (but only compliments from the bride, thank you very much); traditional etiquette says that wearing white to a wedding that is not your own, is bad manners. Where do you stand? Keep reading »