To determine the level of bacheloretting to pitch your bridey at her last hurrah in the City of the Single, obtain scores from Parts I and II below and then refer to our handy chart, borrowed from a pantyhose packet, to determine the bachelorette party you should throw. Keep reading »
A couple of weeks ago, I was sitting on a roof deck with two friends, enjoying the first rays of the pre-summer sun and drinking a beer when I looked up in the sky and saw someone’s life change. A skywriter was doggedly etching a message out into the cloudless blue expanse. We paused our conversation to watch the words form. We didn’t see the name, but the words “Will You Marry Me?” hovered against the blue for a few minutes until they eventually vanished.
“Did that really happen?” my friend asked.
I shrugged. “It’s probably an ad for something,” I said. “Who actually does that?”
Later, through the power of the internet, I found out that the stunt that half of Williamsburg had seen that Sunday wasn’t an insidious marketing campaign for a summer rom-com. It was a real proposal, with a happy ending (spoiler alert: she said yes). I’m sure this couple will be very happy together, and I wish them the best, but the mortification I felt at the notion of the public proposal cannot be denied. Keep reading »
Today In Things That Maybe Should Have Been Ironed Out Before He Got Married:
TMZ claims that Sherri Shepherd’s estranged husband Lamar Sally asked to add an amendment to the couple’s prenup with these alleged heady requests:
- “It is my joy to submit to my husband as a way to honor God. Even if my husband doesn’t respond the way I’d like, I will respect him and be loyal to him. I will walk in his shoes and seek to understand his perspective.”
- “I respect my husband’s opinions and recognize him as the leader of our home. I will always speak well of my husband.”
- “I enjoy having sex with my husband. I crave intimacy with him and want to be uninhibited and free in our lovemaking.”
- “MY BODY IS IMPORTANT TO ME. I STRIVE TO MAINTAIN A HEALTHY BODY WEIGHT AND EXERCISE AT LEAST THREE TIMES A WEEK.”
You can read the full alleged amendment to the prenup here. Sherri, not surprisingly, would not sign it. Keep reading »
Strip clubs, pole dancing, penis hats, comedy shows, bar crawls, wine nights, weekend getaways! Bachelorette parties are both a money and time suck that sometimes has us feeling like basic bitches and other times make us feel like we never want to hang out with guys again. In honor of that special time of year when no one has any spending money because it is all going to our friends’ nuptials, let’s take look at this gnarly and confusing phenomenon by the numbers: Keep reading »
Hey girl, are sure you’re ready for your boyfriend to propose? More specifically, is your hand ready for him to a put a big ol’ expensive rock on it? According to ELLE, hand lifts — yes, face lifts for your handddddsssssss – are becoming increasingly popular with brides-to-be concerned that unsightly loose skin and wrinkles are distracting from their pretty baubles. Seriously, guys? I can’t.
Once upon a time, I got engaged and I suddenly had a big ol’ rock on my finger. I will admit that wearing such a beautiful piece of jewelry every day — a ring that didn’t turn my finger green and wasn’t purchased at Urban Outfitters or Forever 21 — did make me feel inclined to get more regular manicures. It just looked better with nicely shaped and freshly painted talons instead of chipped polish, straggly cuticles and dirt under my nails. But upping the frequency of my nail salons visits was a personal choice, not a requirement, and really ultimately silly and totally unnecessary. But a HAND LIFT?! Come. On. Keep reading »
There’s been one movie everyone has been telling me to see all year, recommended so many times that I’ve genuinely lost count of the suggestions. It didn’t win the Academy Award for Best Picture. It doesn’t feature actors that I particularly like. But I’ve been told that “The Proposal,” starring Sandra Bullock as a Canadian working in New York City who needs her underling, played by Ryan Reynolds, to marry her so that she can stay in the country, like, so closely resembles my life or something.
So I finally hunkered down this weekend to watch “The Proposal.” And I’m sorry to report that just about everything in it— from the green card legalese, to the immigration official who crashes the wedding, to the lightening quick timeframe — is unrealistic. I can’t blame anyone, though, for accepting Hollywood’s interpretation of a marriage between an American and a foreigner as how immigration works. Over the past year, I’ve come to realize that most people don’t understand it (precisely because of movies like “The Proposal,” probably). Keep reading »