Last week, the Boston Globe ever-so-helpfully advised millennials (because god knows, everyone’s got great advice for us, like “Take out private loans to fund your education” and “Stop whining and get a job”) that we’ll regret it if we don’t marry in a “timely” fashion. Cue eye roll.
Tom Keane’s article says that fewer millennials will get married before 40 than in any previous generation, and frets over the possibility that we won’t get married at all. The only really viable argument he makes pro-marriage is that it comes with legal and tax benefits. Other than that, he confuses causation and correlation, calling marriage a “shield against poverty,” as if the reason people are poor is that they’re not married, and it’s not rather that they’re not married because of the plethora of circumstances of being poor. Keep reading »
Being the youngest in a large family has its advantages: My siblings provided plenty of grandchildren already, so there’s no pressure on me to make more. (Christmas presents are expensive, y’all.) My family has also known since I was 19 — when I fainted while watching my older sister have a sonogram because it grossed me out so much — that I’m not sure this childbirth thing is for me. So, even after being married for 10 months now, no one in my family has broached the subject of bringing a Bogdanovs-Wakeman into the world.
That being said, minding-one’s-own-beeswax doesn’t hold true with outsiders — as I found out this weekend when a trip to the laundromat turned into more than I’d bargained for. Keep reading »
Growing up, my parents were able to provide a stable middle-class upbringing for me, my three sisters and my brother. I can understand now how fortunate we were not to worry about hunger, housing, or medical bills. Although my Mom made a point to show us how privileged we were — I’m from Fairfield County, Connecticut, where the “wealth gap” between rich and poor is top in the nation — I lived securely inside a wealthy suburban bubble in the booming ’90s. As I graduated from high school, went to college and began my working life, I still managed to have financial security, even when the economy tanked in 2008. Some friends, recent college graduates like myself, lost their jobs or just plain could not get hired. But me, I still got to stay inside a safe little bubble.
Then I did something that probably didn’t make sense to some people, especially those from the background that I come from: I married someone who was unemployed. Keep reading »
My husband and I met and got married all within five months. Kale had been visiting from Australia on a year-long tourist visa when we fell in love. Marrying not only kept us together, but launched us into a lifetime side-by-side. It didn’t really feel like a choice or a decision; it was obvious to both of us what we were going to do. And that means that I put just about zero forethought into what our marriage would “mean” for me as a woman or for us as a couple.
I’d thought about marriage long before I got married, sure. As a little girl I played house, pretending to be married to my teddy bear (his name is Gregory and I still have him). I had a serious relationship in my 20s with a man — Ex-Mr. Jessica — who I’d thought I would marry and have children with. While dating Ex-Mr. J, most of my thinking had been around the work/career balance and justifying to myself how I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, if possible, for a time. However, I hadn’t put too much thought into how the day-to-day drudgery of marriage would go. It seemed so far off. Keep reading »
I got married very quickly: we had only been dating for five months. I didn’t doubt that I’d found the man I wanted to spend my life with, but I did feel confused in the weeks and months after we’d gotten hitched what marriage was supposed to mean and if so, how should we make it work? We knew why we got married romantically and we knew why we got married legally — but was that all there was to it? In an upcoming HBO documentary airing on Monday, June 30th, a documentary filmmaker who pays his bills by doing wedding videography, seeks to explain the secrets of wedded bliss. In “112 Weddings,” Doug Block went back and interviewed former clients whose weddings he filmed to check in on how matrimony turned out. Some explain how they’ve kept a relationship alive all this time; others explain how their nuptials lead to divorce. Sounds like a film to watch with the husband, yes?