Tag Archives: getting married

Dear Wendy: “I’m Not Sure I Want To Marry My Fiancé”

I’m 22 years old and my fiancé is 25. We are supposed to get married this October, but I’m having second thoughts. We’ve been together for over five years and were neighbors growing up. We both dropped out of college, but I have always held down a full-time job, whereas he got laid off and spent a whole year unemployed. I feel like I have a lot of resentment towards him because he had no excuse to not find a job. He didn’t have the ‘drive’ or ‘ambition’ that I wanted him to have. Since last June, he’s been a truck driver, a job that requires him to be gone sometimes a week at a time or longer with only one or two days home. Also, he still lives at home, and the thought of him being so dependent on his parents bothers me. A little over two years ago, he was really wanting to get married, but I kept telling him I wanted to wait until I was at least 21 so I could legally drink at our wedding. I think I was just making an excuse. He proposed after I turned 21, and some days I’m so happy to be engaged to him and some days I’m not. In addition to our other issues, our sex life is not okay. He always wants to have sex and I hardly ever do. I don’t really know why I don’t because he isn’t bad, but I just feel like I’m not attracted to him anymore. He is the only relationship I have ever been in and I don’t want to lose him but I don’t want to ‘settle’ either. I want to talk to him about it but I don’t want to hurt him. I guess now that we’re paying down payments for venues, buying a wedding gown and setting up classes with my pastor, getting married is hitting me. I don’t want to be a divorce statistic. — Cold Feet

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Mind Of Man: Why You’re Not Married

The reason you’re not married yet is because I don’t really care why you’re not married and no one else does, either. Seriously, nobody cares. You shouldn’t care. Marriage isn’t a tiara. It’s not a ribbon to cut or one of those big novelty lottery checks. You don’t “deserve” a husband. You’re not Veruca Salt. You should be happy with whatever life gives you, because the only thing you truly “deserve” is a grave, although there just aren’t enough funeral pyres in these modern times. But I don’t want you to freak out. If you’re not married, or single, or unhappy, then life is working out as it should. No one has a right to happiness. As Americans, we only have a right to the pursuit of happiness. This explains why we love cars so much. The road trip is more important than the tourist trap. Enjoy the view. Roll down the window. Keep reading »

What’s Your Wedding Song — Real Or Imagined?

Sitting in Starbucks awhile ago, Jack Johnson‘s cute little ditty “Banana Pancakes” came over the sound system. “Pretend like it’s the weekend now,” I sang to myself, thinking, This song is significant. Why is this song significant? Then I remembered: my friend Tania picked “Banana Pancakes” as her first dance song when she married her now-husband Mark this summer. At the time, I thought “Banana Pancakes” wasn’t particularly romantic, but hearing it again, I think it’s sweet. Keep reading »

The Coolest Save-The-Date Ever

One of the upsides of being friends with “Garbage Pail Kids” illustrator Brent Engstrom? The awesome save-the-dates he’ll make for you as a wedding present. [The Daily What] Keep reading »

Jenna Fischer Says Her Views On “The One” Changed After Her Divorce

“In a way, yes. After my divorce, someone said to me, ‘Finding love is not as hard as picking the right person to spend the rest of your life with.’ It was Paul Lieberstein, the executive producer of The Office; he also plays Toby on the show. I held on to that advice when I was searching. I’d start to fall for someone and think, But that’s not a good match. The fluttery feelings aren’t enough. When I was younger, I thought you married the person you fell in love with the most. But as [my ex-husband and I] learned what we wanted, I realized there was a whole other set of criteria. You have to ask, Do we have the same goals?”

– Jenna Fischer (“The Office”) on how her perception of “The One” changed after her divorce in the new issue of Redbook. She’s now remarried. What do you think — is finding “The One” (if such a thing exists — I think we have a few “Ones” in our lives) about so much more than just falling in love? [Just Jared] Keep reading »

Diane Kruger Doesn’t Believe In Marriage

“I was married very young [to French actor and director Guillaume Canet]. We were together seven years. Without sounding pessimistic, I learned that I don’t believe in marriage. I believe in a commitment that you make in your heart. There’s no paper that will make you stay. A guy friend of mine said, and it made a lot of sense, that people should get married at the end of the road, not the beginning.”

Diane Kruger (who’s currently involved with Joshua Jackson) on having been married before and her lack of interest in getting married again in the March issue of Glamour. This kind of sums up my current feelings on marriage. I wasn’t married before, but I was engaged, and while I was committed to the idea of getting married to him, it was really just “formalizing” the relationship I believe we already had. Anyway, maybe I will end up getting married someday, but I wouldn’t say marriage is something I believe in. What do you think? [Glamour via Huffington Post] Keep reading »

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