Tag Archives: getting married
After dating for a year and a half, my boyfriend and I had a sorta “spur of the moment” elopement at the end of January. We’d both recently graduated college and I have a significantly better paying job that has good health benefits, so the decision to get married so quickly was about getting him covered by my insurance. I had known for a while that I wanted to marry him, and we had discussed it very briefly earlier, so it was a given that we would eventually get married anyway. The weird part is that he never officially proposed, and so now we have a sticky situation to deal with when it comes to telling friends and family. We haven’t told any family yet, and the only people who know about it are my three college friends, who don’t know any of our relatives or other friends. We were planning on him buying me an “engagement” ring sometime soon and planning a wedding in the spring of 2011, and not telling anyone in the meantime. I would just like to know what you would do in this situation, since we obviously can’t undo getting married. We don’t feel any different than we did before we got legally married, so it doesn’t feel like we have much to hide, and we both feel that the true beginning of our marriage would be when we get to celebrate it in front of friends and family. Neither of us is really religious (he’s Buddhist, I’m atheist) and our families aren’t the most religious or traditional to begin with. What’s the best way to handle our situation? — Out of Order
Does the entire wedding industry these days seem like one big racket to you? In your lifetime, how many thousands of dollars have you spent flying all over the country (or out of it) to watch people say “I do,” buying place settings and champagne flutes from couples’ Williams-Sonoma registries, and oohing and ahhing over boulder-size diamonds on your girlfriends’ ring fingers? Adding up the numbers can be a dizzying experience, but what’s truly disarming is the fact that your total payout most likely pales in comparison with the price tag for just one of these celebrations. In 2009, industry-trend resource TheWeddingReport.com reported that the average cost of a wedding in the United States was $19,580—that’s more than $12,500 greater than the median annual tuition at a four-year public college. Keep reading »
All this time, we were thinking that marriage was a challenging institution requiring love, commitment, effort, and compromise. But according to a new study done at the Geneva School of Business, the likelihood of success in a marriage can actually be predicted with mathematical precision. Researchers claim to have cracked the formula for wedded bliss: The woman should be five years younger than the man, from the same background, and 27 percent more intelligent. I’m assuming that 27 percent is the difference between a bachelor’s and a master’s degree? Keep reading »
There is that scene in Bridget Jones’ Diary, where, Bridge (as she’s called) lies on her couch, pajama-clad, bottle of vodka clutched tightly in hand, bemoaning the fate of an untimely death for a single person. She worries that if she were to die, alone in her apartment, it is likely that someone would find her decomposing body three weeks later half-eaten by an Alsatian.
I too fear the fate of an untimely “single” death. I imagine my distraught mother, overcome with grief, forced to go through my things. Her sadness only magnified as she discovers the true, mind-blowing total of my credit card debt, and then the small stash of “emergency” illicit prescription drugs in my bedside table. I can see her coming to the realization that I’m not the daughter she imagined, but her image of me will truly be shattered when she opens the drawer that I use to store both my vibrators and my financial statements. I can just see the horror pass over her face, as she realizes that her daughter was not only a bit too sexually adventurous, but also was unfamiliar with exactly what a 401K is. Keep reading »
Ideally, a proposal shouldn’t only be romantic or intimate, it should be unique. After all, this is the story we’ll be telling our girlfriends for the rest of our lives, so it better not bore anyone to tears. Top of the Empire State Building? Yaawwwn. Over a candlelit dinner? Cliché! On a beach at sunset? Meh. One suitor who shares a love of New York City history with his girlfriend wrote an email to Scouting New York, a blog run by a film scout that features tons of architectural details and out-of-the way places throughout the city. The emailer was looking for suggestions for a unique location in the city where he could propose to his girlfriend. The blog opened up the query to readers, and the guy ended up going with the first suggestion in the comments, the whispering gallery in front of the Oyster Bar & Restaurant at Grand Central Terminal. What’s a whispering gallery? It’s a usually-domed architectural spot designed in such a way that if a person standing in one corner whispers, the person standing in the other corner will hear the whisper as if the speaker were standing right next to them. The night of the proposal, he led his girlfriend into the whispering gallery. But how did the proposal go? Find out after the jump. Keep reading »
Like most people, I have a variety of pet peeves. I can’t stand it when people litter; I hate it when an able-bodied person takes an elevator up one floor; and perhaps what bugs me more than anything else on the planet is a holier than thou attitude, especially when it’s displayed by someone who thinks she’s being revolutionary when, in fact, she’s being … how can I say this delicately? Astonishingly non-sensical. Take, for example, Carrie Sloan, a “brand-spanking newlywed” who writes that she and her husband are “re-writing the rules” of matrimony because — get this — she kept her own name! I hate to break it to her and ruin her self-image as a trendsetter, but it’s 2010. Keeping her own name is not a rule she wrote. If being self-righteous in the face of unoriginality were her biggest crime, I’d be willing to overlook it. Unfortunately, it’s not. Keep reading »
I have a friend who came to the United States from Israel to sing opera. He’s kind and funny, and when he sings, the air fills and tingles with his music. But too often, I’ve seen him looking sadly distant. He married his boyfriend last year in Connecticut, but then had to put him on the plane back home. At the moment they see each other once every few months, meeting up in Germany or Greece, but then each returning to a different country, oceans apart. Because our federal government doesn’t yet have an allowance for the partners in gay couples to immigrate on marriage visas, they’re being kept apart. And it sucks. Hopefully, more legislation rolls in like what’s happening in Maryland now.
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I had always been sure I wanted to get married, and the longer I dated Dean, the more sure I was that he was the right one for me. That is … until I got engaged.
Dean’s proposal wasn’t a surprise. I was too nosy to not know it was happening, and I enthusiastically said yes the moment he asked. However, once it happened (in a sweet and thoughtful way, I should add), I began to feel these nagging questions eating away at me: Did I really want to be married? Would we be any good at it? Keep reading »